Why does my hubby download porn for hours on end??

Question

He will download porn for HOURS even though I would happily make love with him pretty much any time he wanted....It depresses me & makes me feel like he is a perv

Answer 1

Why do people bother with meaningless answers?

Porn, like TV, chocolate, alcohol, etc., is fine in moderation but sometimes people let it get out of hand. Seems like your husband is turning to it more and more to the point that he's neglecting the real and willing woman next to him. There are many factors that can lead to this, and, just so you are aware, not all of them may come from him. You thinking "he's a perv" isn't helping matters at all...he may be turning to pornography because it depicts sex in a way that doesn't make him feel ashamed...he may feel that if he were to ask you to do some of the things he wants, that you'll call him a "perv". You may be willing to have sex, but there's always some effort involved in getting two people to have sex (both have to be turned on at the same time, or be willing to turn each other on, and then there's foreplay, etc.), and porn is always really easy.

If he's continually downloading new porn, that may indicate that he's constantly craving new images - the porn he has already just isn't doing it for him.

Talk to a counselor about it. Don't treat it like "he's a perv" or you're not going to get anywhere. Just telling him you're willing might not be enough...he might not really believe you...try doing something surprising and uninhibited, like a completely unasked for, unexpected sexual favor while he's doing something like cooking or doing the dishes or reading the paper. Don't just tell him you can supply all of his needs, *show* him! Buy him some porn yourself and ask him if you can watch it together.

A counselor can give you way better advice than myself, but a lot of people, particularly men, think that "anybody who would go to see a shrink oughta have their head examined," which is just a silly, but very pervasive attitude. Counselors are just people who have seen a lot of people with a lot of different problems try a lot of different solutions, and they can ask the right questions to help determine what solutions might be right for the *two* of you as a couple.

Whatever you do, don't try to make him feel ashamed about it - that'll just make him retreat further into the world of easy, non-judgmental, porn. Instead, just let him know that you miss him and you'd like to try to learn how to improve your sex life together. And maybe try a little random sexual favor here and there. Just so he knows that his wife can be spicier than what he's got on his computer. :-)

Good luck!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Because he has looked at it so much that 1. he is desensitized and needs more than regular sex to really get the full pleasure effect from the chemicals in his brain and 2. he feels he needs variety. Men actually have a chemical reaction in their brain just from seeing sexual images. Women have the same chemical reaction when emotionally affected. This is why men are typically more turned on by porn than women. Also, if you will notice, a man can end up with the most beautiful woman in the world by all standards and he will still notice and want to look at other women. This has to do with the nature of man to want adventure and a beauty to win. He has already won you and is complacent, so he is trying to win something else, and porn on the Internet is easy, each new picture or video is like a new victory to him. You need to become an adventure for him, something he can win.

I'm not trying to defend him though, he really needs to respect you. But, I am telling you physically why he is downloading so much porn.

Answer 4

Its like an escape for him. Most guys like porn because they feel like they are involved in all that stuff that goes on. I know you are willing to please him, but ask him if there is anything else you could do in the bedroom that would make things more exciting. He could just be one of those other types of guys who do it because its something bad that he can get away with. The only good thing about it, if there is a good thing, is that he is with the fantasy girls on the computer and not some whores out on the street.

Also, I hope he realizes that the girls are only actors, playing a part and getting paid for it. These girls dont want the guys watching them...they dont love them for real...and they are just going thru the motions. I have a good friend who is an exotic dancer and I asked her if she really got horny when all the guys are touching her....she said not at all. The only one who would excite her when touched would be her bf.

Answer 5

He probably has been exposed to porn throughout his life and has formed an addiction. Porn gives him the opportunity to have control over an imaginary sex life because the images on the computer won't have any expectations of his performance or make any demands on him. He can fantasize about multiple scenarios where the women all adore him unconditionally. I agree with other responders -- he needs to get help. He won't be able to control it himself. He probably has even vowed to himself many times that he will stop doing it but finds himself unable to resist the temptation. There is a good group called Sex Addicts Annonymous that may be able to help him and another one called Sex and Love Addicts Annonymous. I think the later one is more faith based in their approach.

Answer 6

he might be addicted, he's kind of cheating on you if you think about it, he's picturing having sex with those other woman a lot obviously, my husband isn't allowed to have porn in the house or look it up on the computer and he has the same rules for me, its very disrespectful and you should really talk to him about this, porn should not be more important then your marriage, if he loves you and cares about your feelings he'll stop doing this if not he's a pervert that you'll have to deal with or maybe divorce, a lot of divorces are about this nowadays because there are some men that find it more important then there relationship with there soul mate, its very sad

Answer 7

some guys just get addicted...inconvenient, i know. let me remind you that you can dump him if it's that uncomfortable for you. don't put up with crap from anybody. if it's depressing you than you seriously need to say something now. it's now or never. porn is disgusting, you're not the only lady a bit pissed off by it. i'm beside you. feel free to dump him

Answer 8

Could he be addicted to porn?

A lot of guys download porn for hours, though. Sex is on their minds a lot.

Also, guys are turned on variety....so even if he loves you, he is probably looking for sexual variety.

Answer 9

If you REALLY don't know... then I can understand why he downloads porn for hours on end.

Answer 10

He seriously needs help. He is addicted, and he can't stop without intervention. Don't blame yourself - it didnt and doesnt have anything to do with you as a wife. Seek counseling asap, and ask him to go with you. If he wont, then go by yourself. Good luck!