it's really hard to explian. one of my best friends knows that i am bi and yet she still will admit that she flirts with me. but she will swear up and down that she is straight and that she "only goes one way".
we always hold hands, and i guess you can say that we sit "awkard" on each other. i told her that i was in love with her. and she just said that she loved me but " she only goes one way". even after this she still continues to flirt with me. alot of my friends have come up to me asked me was the deal cause the think we are dating but i just say we are friend. this is killing me
I don't know what to do? is her flirting just being friendly or teasing? she i give up on her and just think of her as a friend? lol one of my other friend say just kiss her and find out what she does, is that a good idea? i don't know what to do?
2006-07-21 05:33:15 · 16 answers · asked by scared2fly 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Dose she flirt with any of her other friends that are girls?
If so she might be a little like me... I'll flirt with my friends whether they be straight, bi, homosexual; guy, or girl. I think it is fun and they are fine with it. (Don't think I'm evil for it...) My lesbian and bi friends know I'm bi-curious (I just learned that word on yahoo, I didn't know what to call myself a little while ago *smiles triumphantly*) and my straight friends think I'm just overly friendly (some of them wonder, I like to mess with those ones. *grins evilly*). But they totally know I would only get serious with a guy (I've made that clear). I have my reasons and they know I'm not likely to change. And to be on the safe side I back off when I see it is affecting one of them too much... like when they ask certain questions and seem too interested in me.
If not, you are already talking to her about being attracted to the same gender,right? Just tell her: Hey, I don't know what to do, you are sending mixed messages, you flirt with me yet say you are straight, and it is really tearing me up inside, I just don't know what to do.
And if you have to give her a dilemma lay it out to her make a clearly marked line so as little confusion as possible will arise: if straight don't flirt shamelessly, if bi then well, by all means continue... : )
But remember it is scary to go any further than flirting! You can deny everything untill you do. So be careful. Plus depending on the reasons for her staying straight, some reasons will always win out. Sorry, but I'm an example of that. *sympatheticly smiles*
Good Luck!
Oh Yeah, She sounds Bi-Curious : ) (Yahoo teaches new terms)
2006-07-21 09:19:07 · answer #1 · answered by Wolf_Girl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whole host of things could be going on here.
My first reaction was that now a days, it's considered "trendy" to be Bi...which is really sad for the people who really are gay, lesbian, or bi...because you can't distinguish who is serious and who is just wanting to "look" it.
It could be, that she is in denial or confusion about her own sexuality. I'll admit...I have lesbian friends, but the lines are CLEARLY drawn. I am straight as an arrow and would NEVER consider sitting on them akwardly or even holding hands.
I would not want to lead them on to something I'm not.
So...do you chalk it up to using you as a pawn to "look cool" or do you chalk it up to your friend not really knowing or denying where she is sexually?
The best and only thing you can really do is to tell her what you told us, even print off your question and the answers...tell her that if she really IS straight...then employ a hands off policy.
If she's not, and needs help discovering her sexuality, then take the time to let her know she's not alone, and share your experience and knowledge with her on how you became aware of your sexuality.
Hope this helps, best of luck!
2006-07-21 12:45:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When ya'll are getting close, tell her it's turning you on, and if she doesn't stop, you are going to kiss her. Sounds like she is bi-curious. If so, you will have to make the first move. What have you got to loose. You warned her :) If she was flirting this way with a guy, he would have tried something on her a long time ago!!!
2006-07-21 16:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you mean !my first big crush was my best friend. i would give her money buy her thing and she did the same for me. but she was so bad she would tease me until my body and nerves couldnt stand to berattled so i would go home at night very torn because she claimed to be straight you when you and your best friend and are close like we were she knew all the spots that would get me riled up,turned on, and fed u and she would use past conversations that we had as friends to make things more intense
so one day i asked her why she teased me so bad if she was straight and she said to me just to see my reaction...so i waited until the next time she did it and finally i played hard ball and used what she told me in confidence against her like she did me.. and i shattered her defenses
we were together for 7 years after that night
2006-07-21 14:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by sweetshariqua 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably having mixed feelings and sticking to what she's been telling herself all along that she's straight. Girlfriends flirt with each other all the time. (at least mine do) It sounds like she is attracted to you, but she's confused. Ask her if you can kiss her so she can see how it feels, maybe she'll feel differently. But be gentle, because when your point of view of yourself changes, that's a very dramatic experience.
2006-07-21 12:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...she may be totally in the closet, afraid of what other people may think if she was into girls. She may like flirting with you and getting the attention from it...or she could genuinely really like you too but is too afraid to admit it to herself and would not want to be slapped with a label. I think that you should tell her you want to kiss her and that noone has to know..then you could see what happens from there. Or...just enjoy feelin her up while she tells everyone that she doesn't swing that way.
2006-07-21 14:11:36 · answer #6 · answered by twisted_goddess_x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sounds like she likes the attension you give her, maybe she seeks this kind of attension from guys too. I say ignore her and stop putting your energy in her. Its one sided. Tell her you completly understand she only goes one way. And that you also only go one way with people who are like you.... see what she does then.
Tell her your starting to like someone else and you'll find out if this is just a game for her or a struggle
2006-07-21 14:19:50 · answer #7 · answered by mylife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight with her and tell her that you are getting mixed signals from her. Maybe she likes flirting with you to make you feel special. Instead of just kissing her, just tell her how much that you would like to kiss her, then there will be no surprise or hurt feelings.
2006-07-21 12:46:01 · answer #8 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to confront her on the flirting and ask her to be honest with you. And ask if she has any feelings for you because you value the friendship, but you want honesty. And because the flirting is sending you confusing messages.
2006-07-21 13:46:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teasing and playing with someone's heart and emotions isn't right...gay or straight...it just isn't right.
Tell her its too hard on you when she does that...that you care for her and that if she doesn't feel the same...that's ok...but ask her not to flirt and tease.
2006-07-21 12:44:24 · answer #10 · answered by tsbr1963 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋