I told him unless he's better WE can't get better. he is a very negative person, along with other things that affect people around him. I have tried to help but it is pulling me down. So, I told him we need time away from each other to have that freedom and time to find ourselves and get help. if everything is okay with him, we will be OK. Did I just tell him I WILL get back with him if he's well again??
I want time to find myself and find my happiness, meaning also date other ppl if I meet someone. But I didn't mention that b/c I was afraid of his scary reaction and, we have limited funds and he watches my daughter's during the day and we just moved in with MY parents. I feel stuck regardless.
How do I get out? and what just happened?
Thanks.
2006-07-21 04:50:13 · 8 answers · asked by fiestygirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like you need a moment to decide what is most important to you ... i just got out of a five year marriage and its only been a few month's but i do feel better about my self... i look at things different ... maybe you can get your parents to help with the girls... if things are as bad as you say just tell him it is time to say good by for now
2006-07-21 06:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by mewildo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he didn't really care what other and you feel, say or something. I think that he need to grow up and be a man to do it better. If you told me I was negative person, if I was like that and If I truly love my woman and My daughter I would do it to make it a better husband and father.. but If I don't want to and I still be negative forever then I will not change.
You have right to do what ever you want to do and you both are not married right? so that mean you can date someone and you try to find happiness and you try to find that best for your health and your daughter. and So I know that there a man like me will love to be in your life and make you happy and treat your daughter as my own.. I know that your parents knows about that and you can tell him to leave and it better off that way..
You don't feel stuck you shouldn't feel that way. And your family should support you and If you were my daughter and I do anything make sure if you guys can't work it out and then I would asked him to leave and support my daughter and my grand daughter too.
Again it that there nothing you can do and you tried and nothing happen and nothing got better and he didn't beg when you told him that you need time away from eachother and freedom and time and get help and he didn't put the time to fix it.
2006-07-21 05:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a fool if you pursue another relationship before Divorce!
If you want to date other people get a divorce your marriage will be over and you will be able to say "I did the right thing" for my future.
But honestly it sounds like you want an excuse to to have an affair and if you don't like it you can fall back to your husband and say HONEY I'm home!
Not a very good choice for either of you and disrespect your family especially in 10 or 15 years if your daughter finds out that her family was destroyed because mom wanted to get her freak on, and used you separation to achieve that end.
If you do separate draw a line in the sand and make a commitment to one another that if either of you were to pursue another "sexually experience" that you or he will apply for divorce before you have the relationship with the other person or persons! It work's and you can respect yourself and your husband. (or wife if male ) personal experience when my wife and I separated I had two date's both could have gone further but I had to ask myself "do I want a divorce" ( I said no) so instead I started to date my wife and found an absolutely wonderful woman that I did not know existed and I found myself a lot more confident around her and learned to love all those annoying quality's that I hated so much !
I watched it first hand when my mother did it to her family 27 years ago and then tried to come back saying she made a terrible mistake and all three of her children wont talk to her, won't let her see grandchildren, won't invite her to holiday's get together, Offer love ,help, or even friendship, we regard her a parasite! I myself haven't spoken a word to her in 26 years and could care less if she lives or dies!!!
"THINK OF YOUR FUTURE 10,20,30, YEARS FROM NOW" and ask yourself "what if" the worst happens!!!!!
If you really fell your marriage needs shaking up get marriage help, a marriage is a living breathing entity that will in time have ruff times , as well as good time's, but a commitment has been made and your family should come first, if that unacceptable then divorce and move on, but don't soil yourself , reputation, or your Daughter by using an excuse to have an affair.
Think of your family first!!!
My wife shanghaied me the night before our 5th wedding anniversary and at 12:50 am on our anniversary we remarried on lake Tahoe's north shore and have made an effort to one another and our family to give to each other first!
Not easy for me because I was a very selfish person at that time not unlike your seem to be now .
Just to let you know 19 year of marriage 4 children and my wife is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me . and one more this we have made the same journey every 5 years to the North shore of Tahoe to recommitted our selves
P.P.S. Just to let you know my father tries all the time to get my mother excepted back in her children's and 11 Grandchildren lives's
but we are never going there what she did hurt to much and she might as well be dead !
Once again Think of your family first.
2006-07-21 08:22:21 · answer #3 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so hes a negative person, does that make him "ill" ? Im not really getting your problem, except that its obvious you are looking for excuses to move on with your life without him.
Try being honest, that will get you farther than trying to make him feel he has to "get well", thats just plain weird on your part! You definitely have some issues!
2006-07-21 05:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very brave. No, I don't think you made him any promises about getting back together. It's good you have your family right now too. I hope everything will be okay, and don't get back together with him just to please him. Be strong and God bless you and the girls.
2006-07-21 04:58:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your having some issues......not him. Just take time out for yourself. That doesn't mean go out with other people.
2006-07-21 04:54:50 · answer #6 · answered by cutesquaw69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on a holiday by your self and take time to think it over but stil enjoy your self
2006-07-21 04:58:09 · answer #7 · answered by -sexy lil rock chic- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do as you suggested. or if you find someone else that you might love more go for it.
2006-07-21 04:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by party_2_hearty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋