first of i'am married, he has a alive an girlfriend. well anyway we met 12 years ago. well i didnt no it was going to last this long. he is not much showeing his feelings toward me. i ask him one time, why are you hanging on to me, he relpy back and said because i love you. He tell's me he has been under a lot of stress hear lately, he has not seen me much these days.. i E_mail him told him i have a feelings sometimes you dont want to see me anymore, i said if thats what you want tell me i"ll walk out.the relationship. i told him i love him untill the feelings leaves they are so strong for him. he has not relpy back its been like 4 days. i get theses emotional breakdowns and i say nasty things to him just to get his attention. but i dont really mean it. i alls way wtite back and apologize. sometimes i dont believe he cant take much more this affair. should i just let it be write back or just see it he relpys back. do you think he can love after 12 years sexx??? i really need advise
2006-07-21 04:26:23 · 11 answers · asked by tellmelikeitis5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do you think he love me an this 12 years affair
2006-07-21 04:28:24 · update #1
You know, when I run out of milk and I am too lazy to go to the grocery store I will usually go to 7-11. It's a quick stop and it satifies my need. 7-11 never closes and that's great for me. What I am saying by all of this is that you're kind of like the 7-11 for him... always ready and always open. You're the back up...you've been his back up for 12 years when the other stores are closed.
2006-07-21 05:00:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be ridiculous! He does not love you, but is only hanging to to you as a back up when the situation with the girlfriend falls to pieces, and it will. Then he will want to come back to you, telling you that the affair is over. Be prepared!
The first thing you need to do is get control of yourself. The emotional outbursts dont serve anyone's goals except his. That type of behavior only lets him know that he is in control.
I'm not talking about faking it, I want you to really take a close look at what it is inside you that make you feel so worthless that you would tolerate such abuse. Then I want you to seek help from a licensed mental health professional. Seeking such help does not mean you are "crazy" or "psycho", it just means that you have reached your limits as a human being. We all hit this point at one time or another in our lives. Don't' be too proud to get the help you need.
I also want you to tell him that you no longer desire to hear from him and do not respond to his communications until your therapist indicates that you are ready.
Regrading the martial bond, if that is a spiritual issue for you, then seek spiritual advice. Contact the clergyman who married you if available. If it is not such a spiritual hurdle then either contact an attorney or seek help from your local Family Court Office.
2006-07-21 11:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by jim9706 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you like it is.
There is no doubt in my mine that he does have feeling for you or even love you, oh course, he love you but what needs to be understood is that; there is different types of love.
You mentioned he has a wife and a girlfriend or girlfriend? When you start a relationship thats the way it usually end.
As Adults we have to be very careful with what we share with others, like our emotions and if it is a sexual relationship that is all it should be and if emotions start to fly and to gain control you get away from the person for while meaning, you have to be conscience at all times and be able to predict or prepare for any situation that may come you way, you can't lose self or lose control of thematter. From the way you worded this, it sounds like you pretty much let him lead this affair in other words it is at his convience. Remember you stated you are married, why stay if you are not happy with your husband, ok is it the money(security), he depends on you health wise, what?
If you didn't speak to him for four days it sound like he is going threw something or he does not want to do the relationship no more. this guy if you ask me is wrong and sort of selfish. He has a string of people lives and emotions in his hands and how ever he pull them it will affect everyone. Let him alone he has to much control plus, you are married.
2006-07-21 12:36:19 · answer #3 · answered by seeking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silly, Silly woman. Of course he loves you! He loves you because you are safe, and he does not have to worry about taking care of you. Your husband has that job! Who would'nt love having a " Boody Call Girl" on the side, that you only need to be affectionate with and treat nice on occasions and then the rest of the time let her husband deal with the day to day drama of REAL LIFE!
You have spent 12 yrs risking your ,marraige and your family for a man who only wants the "Good Stuff" and is not willing to make a commitment. What sickens me is that you go along with it! You are just as guilty, if not more guilty than he is!
You I suspect do it for the thrill. It's fun to go sneak around , play adult games and think your putting one over on your husband! The element of " I might get caught" excites you!
But have your really ever sat down and weighed the consequences? What happens to your livelyhood if you should get caught? All the things you and your legal spouse have worked for over all these years together can be taken from you in the blink of an eye! Do you have children? If so, what do you think it will do to them when they learn that their MOTHER has been unfaithful for years to their Dad. Do you even care?
I'd say you need to get your priorities in order and decide what is best for you AND your family. Think about what you are doing! Think about the repercussions of your actions! Seek medical help if you need to, your husband never has to know the real reason you are going.
You need to do something, and that something is not continuing an Affair that is not going anywhere but the bedroom when the two of you get a spare moment! You've been used for 12 years, face it! How much longer are you going to put up with it?
If you need a little excitement in your life try Bungee Jumping!! If you are not happy with your spouse then tell him ! But don't go sneaking around behind his back anymore , it's very demeaning to your character and makes your poor husband the fool!
2006-07-21 11:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Fancygal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has not replied back to you in 4 days he is either through with you or thinking real hard about everything.I believe he is done with you.My current g/f was in the same situation as you and they guy didn't show up for there lunch date so she called him and he wouldn't answer any of her calls....and has not heard from him or seen him in 3yrs.....
2006-07-21 11:37:06 · answer #5 · answered by jeff402006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are married you had no business anyway, and maybe the girlfriend he has now is taking care of him just fine and he doesn't need you anymore. Begging and ploeading will only drive him to her more!
2006-07-21 11:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need learn English before make a$$ out of self on Yahoo answers.
2006-07-21 11:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by Gasman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm i've been thinking long and hard........ do you have a nice 4ss and t1ts? if so yes.
lol
and go to college and have some more wild sex affairs, whilst learning how to read and write!
2006-07-21 11:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by poo p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the strings and move on.... once a cheater always a cheater.
2006-07-21 11:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Bay Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO MOVE ON HE HASN'T MADE A COMMITMENT AFTER 12 YEARS HE NEVER WILL
2006-07-21 11:41:52 · answer #10 · answered by browneyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋