my boyfriend has lived alone for 23 years i've moved in i find he talks to himself in the shower etc help?

Question

he will hold a conversation with himself i heard him say shut up once if he is alone in next room he will start talking again i'm not sure he is aware that he is doing it i've not said anything to him about it and we are trying for a baby as well which we both want and we do love each other. i just don't know what to make of it whether it could be a reaction to being bullied by his dad years ago when he was alive or his he not over his mums death in 2003. any ideas?/

Answer 1

nah!

it's because the neighbours dog died of old age 2 years ago, that's all!

He used to talk to dat dog ALL da time, and he was unable to replace that companionship 'til now!

Answer 2

I wouldn't worry about this at all. I lived alone for a long time and I ended up doing the same thing. Monks, living in seclusion have reported the same thing. It is NOT a sign of insanity. Humans TALK...is it natural and necessary for us to do so on a regular basis. I'm deaf and I even talk to myself in sign language. It is nothing more than a tool we use to assist the though process. Some people, when needing to make a decision, will get pad and paper and list the pros and cons. Same thing here...just in an oral form.

Answer 3

A lot of people talk to themselves on a regular basis, especially if they have had a great deal of time alone for a while. There is nothing wrong with this, it is not unhealthy. A lot of extroverted people start doing it as a way to deal with not having another person to talk to.

Try talking to him more often. If his conversation needs are met, it is likely that he will slowly stop talking to himself, as it won't be necessary anymore. I wouldn't expect it to stop abruptly, as habits are hard to break. And if it never stops, I wouldn't consider it something to be concerned about, as, like I said, it is completely normal and healthy. It certainly wouldn't make him unfit to be a parent by any means.

Answer 4

I wouldn't worry about it. He probably doesn't even realize he's doing it. My dad used to do this and he never knew he was doing it unless one of us pointed it out to him. He was always good-natured about it and sometimes we would hear him say the funniest things and would all get a good laugh out of it. My dad was a very normal guy, talking to himself was just something he did without thinking. Now he's been gone over 10 years and how I wish I could hear him talking to himself again. It's one of the fond memories of him that my siblings and I still talk about.

Answer 5

He's had some crushing things happen to him and if he has lived alone for 23 years living with someone is going to place a strain on your relationship. You need to try to talk with him, not to him, about things, about how he thinks it's going, you moving in etc. You need to work at talking with each other which, in love or not, is not always easy.

It sounds to me like there are more relationship issues here than just his talking to himself. You both need to talk, and get time out often. So often people move in together and everything goes wrong because they invade each other's space and fail to talk about this. So you've been warned!

Talking to oneself is completely fine and natural for some. There's not really much difference between talking to yourself in your head, which we all do, and talking to yourself out loud, which some people do. You really don't want to act like he needs any form of psychiatric help, like there is anything wrong with him.

And if you love him you should just say, open and honestly, lightly: 'You talk to yourself. I didn't know you did that.'

Being bullied by one's dad and having one's mum die are really hard things to deal with, I suspect, so I urge you to be understanding. And ultimately, as regards this relationship, do what you want to do and be honest with him about what you want to do. May it all go smoothly for you both x

Answer 6

2 issues. One......adult males Love, I propose actual Love females which will stay together and performance countless sex with out the convenience of Marriage. it truly is Like living In A Sexual leisure Park. each and each and every of the sex and not one of the criminal Hassles, Commitments Or responsibilities. frequently maximum adult males parent that they are going to journey This Out till they have Had As a lot sex With the female As they're going to Ever pick From Her. Then After each and everything plausible has been finished Sexually... 2. Its Time to flow on. So He alternatives A wrestle Blames You and Counts on your "go away-I-do not-Care" frame of mind to furnish Him A free bypass Out The Door. this manner he has had the very ideal you should furnish and may flow Onto the subsequent female that needs to Play living house. and also you cant bypass to A criminal specialist because you under no circumstances Had papers On Him. it is called "Getting Out In Time". learn From this mistake and flow On including your existence.

Answer 7

The guy sitting next to me at work talks to himself all the time, has mini debates and all - doesn't realise he's doing it until I say something! Some people just vocalise their thoughts, it's not necessarily something to worry about.

Next time your boyfriend's talking, why not just go in and ask him what he said, as if you thought he was talking to you and you hadn't quite heard... It will draw attention to the fact that you heard him talking, and you can initially make light of it - see his reaction first.

Gavin is talking again next to me.....!!

Answer 8

Everybody talks to their self sometimes. Try to listen to what he is saying. He might just miss his mother, and he wants to talk to her about something that is on his mind. So he talks like she is there with him. Even though it is impossible for her to be there hearing what he is saying, it is probably just to make himself feel better. We all grieve in different ways.

Answer 9

BROODING OR TALKING TO ONE SELF IS OK,

i can understand this is very annoying for you , but this is not a big problem , he is ok ,

what u need to do is talk to him as much as u can ,
talk on small things like .

1what u had for lunch .

2 how was ur day,

one good method of over coming this is ask him to talk to you when he is alone.

or write his thoughts.
WITH CARE AND LOVE

Answer 10

That just maybe the way he is. And if you love him accept it. If you feel like he is too weird for you to be with now then you did't love him in the first place.
When you love someone you love everything about them and accept everything about them, even though you may not like it.

Answer 11

Talk about it with him, and take him to get some help. I mean talking to itself it's pretty normal, but saying things like shut up and stuff... that's not so normal.