I have a boyfriend who is not really there for me when I need to talk to him because he always busy,so I talk to my bestfriend who is a dude and I tell him things thats going wrong with us or what i should do and he gives me really good advice on how to tell him and by not making the matters worse. Well my boyfriend does not like him because i talk to him when he's not there for me and I told him your not there for me when I need someone to talk to so I talk to my bestfriend. But he goes and tell his little friends whats going on between us. Am I wrong for just getting a lil advice from my best friend? i really dont think he trust me but I dont know why I never did anything to hurt him. But it also may be because he has been lied to and cheated on so many times that Im going to do that to him but I told him that Im not your past and to stop comparing me to his past because I am his present and his future. I just dont understand why he is acting like this. Is he being insucure?
2006-07-21 03:08:34 · 22 answers · asked by unique_scorpi0 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's natural for him to want to be the center of atention. I'm a dude and I fell that your girlfriend/boyfriend should also be your best friend, the one person that you can share your soul with (provided there is love involved).
I think what you should do is try talking more to him, TELL him to be there for you. The secret of a good relationship is trust, undestanding, commitment and COMMUNICATION. If he neither do any of these it's all gonna blow up in your face...
Plus I guess he is a very gelous person and feels neglected... So what you do is go right now, or after he finishes work or smth like that and give him a hug, try to talk to him about the little things, then more important things and then tell him what you expect from him. And after he agrees, make sure you tell him that you love HIM, not your other friend and that you are with HIM, not that other guy. If all goes well, in time he will become your best friend. If doesn't want to show just some little attention, than talk to him about ending it all...
Brakeups suck, but lousy relationships suck even more. I hope that it's not the case for that...
Good luck!
2006-07-21 03:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Firefly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys (and girls) are a little insecure when their partner has a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex. If he's been cheated on before, that's going to make it worse. It's understandable, but that doesn't make it acceptable. There is no relationship if there's no trust. If he's not ready to leave the past where it belongs, he's not ready to be in a relationship again yet. You're doing nothing wrong in talking to your best friend. Good luck.
2006-07-21 03:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by Andi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he being insecure? Yes ma'am. Is that a bad thing? Not really. As long as he keeps it somewhat in check. Everyone has their insecurities in life. If you really love and respect him you will help ease his insercurities as much as you can. And part of my answer really depend on a couple of factors of your relationship, such as how much future you see in it, how much you love him, and if you really want to marry this one. If you basically see this as the last man you will ever be with for the rest of your life, I look at this this. If I were an insecure guy I would have a problem with the fact you have a male "best friend". You may have too let him go depending on how much this guy means to you. Cause in all honesty, in a serious relation ship your boyfriend should be your male "best friend". That's just my opinion of how things should be. Sorry ladies, if you hate too hear it. I'm just reciting how the world should work according to me...
2006-07-21 03:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by whitezx3focusguy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can tell him that he can like and love every part of you tell him the your friend is a brother to you and if he cant understand that then he don't even know you if he doesn't trust you maybe its because he cant be trusted there is nothing wrong with you having a friend that is a guy. I am sorry but it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is much of a boy friend he has to let go of his baggage you don't carry past relation ships into future ones Good luck
2006-07-21 03:18:44 · answer #4 · answered by jamnjims 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he's being insecure but he has a right to be.. think about it ur sharing ur intimate problems about ur boyfriend w/another male claiming to be ur best friend.. now there r many people who have opposite sex best friends and then there r those who have bestfriends w/benefits.. Knowing a guy he's most definitely thinking that way... I think that u shouldn't volunteer to much info to the best friend and continue to communicate w/ur boyfriend and if he still is acting stupid (cause that's what it is) then leave him and find someone who will listen and make time for u...
2006-07-21 03:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your Best Friend / Spiritual Advisor, have to be a male, your boyfriend is wondering? He's jealous of course and is wondering if he's boning you? Does your Best Friend also have a Best Friend of the opposite sex, if not you are probally his only deep female contact, so you will become fair game. Things just happen, don't ya know! It sure is exciting with all the attention, I know that for sure. Enjoy this out of round dueling courtship while it's fun, either way it will be a learning experience, yee haa!
2006-07-21 03:23:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he seems to have some insucurities...maybe he thinks that you like your bestfriend better then him or that you'll leave him for your bestfriend.It's also a case of jelousy really.You are not in the wrong at all...my bestfriend is also a male.Just talk to your boyfriend about it and console him.
2006-07-21 03:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I have been friends with many girls and all advice I ever gave was meant to help me get in their pants. I think 99% of all men would do the same thing and if your friend is telling his buddies then that is what he wants to. So pick between the 2 guys and drop the other one.
2006-07-21 03:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Aaron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing I think about this is that talking to the opposite sex on a relationship is gonna intimidate any male...they know what they are thinking. If he is getting upset then maybe he is doing something wrong hopefully not though baby. Third thing is that if you need to talk to someone about your relationship then something is wrong and you already know that! Best of luck in love sweets
2006-07-21 03:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by M J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men do not like any male competition. I had male friends throughout my life because they are more trustworthy and sometimes just more fun to be around. He has to get over the fact that the two of you are friends. It is his insecurity, only suggestion would be that you make sure your boyfriend knows he is number one but that he is your best friend nothing more and that relationship is important to you.
2006-07-21 03:12:33 · answer #10 · answered by SunshineSparkles1976 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋