she's in my way of reconciliation?

Question

my husband and i was married 11years, we had an agreement to split for the 1st time and see what happens, we r friends and we still sleep 2getther and he cry i cry, he still tells me he loves me and he still comes over and we have sex and everything else. i ask'd him 2 com bk, he sasy he's not sure, he mov'd in w/a female that he sayz was a friend, now 2mths lat'r they r sleep'n 2get'r , now he says he loves me we spent r anniv 2gtrand he is on vacation and we still sleepn. I told him she is interferen w/us get'n bk 2get'r he say no he wldn't have come bak. i say itz a lie, he don't want 2 admitt, he no, that she is interfering with any chnc of us get'n bk 2 get'r. What do u think, we still sleep 2get'r we r hav'n some of the best sex and he still payz my bills and give me money, he helps me gave me everything, wouldn't take no'thing from me. Don't want me 2 have a hard time. He cryz w/me I no he luvz me, what do I do now shez help'n him get over me. u agree. Men plz tell me femalz 2

we agreed 2 seperate, he sayz no more about it, we r not havn law'rz, we will do it ourselves. He sayz hez weak 4 me and cant help that I turn him on. I need her 2 leave my marriage. Do i tell her 2? I no he would have been home if he was roomie w/man or he wasn't see'n her. She just went thru a divorse so how can she not no she is interfereing w/my marriage. SHE'Z a SKANK, no real woman would have done that. SHEZ preying on him..

we agreed 2 seperate, he sayz no more about it, we r not havn law'rz, we will do it ourselves. He sayz hez weak 4 me and cant help that I turn him on. I need her 2 leave my marriage. Do i tell her 2? I no he would have been home if he was roomie w/man or he wasn't see'n her. She just went thru a divorse so how can she not no she is interfereing w/my marriage. SHE'Z a SKANK, no real woman would have done that. SHEZ preying on him..

Answer 1

First of all, I had a very hard time getting through your question. You should try using real words. As far as your situation goes, the woman is not the issue, it's your husband. If he didn't want her to interfere with your marriage, she would be gone. He obviously likes living with her, then coming over to your house for sex. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can move on with your life. However, it sounds like you are also benefiting from the situation. You say you are getting the best sex, and he is paying your bills. You need to decide if the sex and money you are getting are worth the pain your are living in. Another thing to think about is that by waiting for your husband to come back, and keeping your life in a constant state of drama, you are not free to meet a man who might be true to you. You can't change your husband, but you can take control of your own life, pay your own bills and move on.

Answer 2

I think he's still in love with you but getting his cake and eating it too. Why should he got back to you and miss out with the other woman? It's your choice to keep putting up with it or let him know "no more of me until you want all of me and I have all of you" Even when you're separated and married, you are still committed, it's adultery he's committing. He can even give you a disease cause if this girl he's sleeping with knows he's a married man and what's going on, what makes you think she's not doing the same to him. You can't honestly think they will ever have a trusting long lasting relationship. I understand things are easier said then done, but you can't love someone else without knowing how to love yourself and value yourself. He's not doing it for you, you have no great value in his heart if he's playing these games.

Answer 3

OK firstly if you sleep with your husband again make him wear a condom. If she has the low morality to sleep with a married man who knows what other nasty men she has slept with.

Next we know that it is not easy to let go of our husbands and I am a firm believer in keeping your husband in almost every case. If you want to work it out I understand he is your husband and you have 11 years of history.

But, if you want to keep him you must be smarter then him and smarter than her. The first thing you need to do is get her away from him. Tell him to make a choice. I seriously doubt that he will choose her over you. Stick to it her or you. If you let him play between both of you he will think it is easy enough and continue to do it. You know the expression "give him an inch and he will take a mile" Don't let him get greedy. You need to stop them from living together for sure, and yes you have every right to tell that home wrecker to stay out of your marriage.

P.S. get marriage counseling. It will give you even more time with him and will help to make sure you don't have the same problem again

P.S.S. To Lisa M we are casually chatting, not writing a term paper or novel. Grammar is not really that important in chats and blogs.

Answer 4

okay-- first of all, you NEED to sit his butt down and tell him, you want him back and you won't have it any other way. you need to let him know that this "friend" needs too go and if he loves you he wouldn't 1.) be living with some other female and 2.) BE SLEEPING WITH HER WHILE HE'S STILL SLEEPING WTIH YOU....his WIFE!!!!

if he TRULY loves you, he would do as you say. he wants to make you happy and give you everything you want/need, then he should do this for you, not just because he HAS too but because he NEEDS too. if you loves you sooooo much, he'd KNOW that sleeping with two women @ the same time, also while being married-- that's wrong!!

if he says know-- i hate too say this sweeite, but you NEED to get rid of him. as much as you may love him, you HAVE to love yourself more @ times like these and realize that he's not worth making a sacrafice of self-respect for. you know better than too put yourself through so much pain that could come with this if he doesn't leave her.

make a point, tell him that he doesn't love you @ ALL if he's still living with this woman AND sleeping with her! and i hate to say this too, but if he really wants to be with both of you (which you should NOT do) find someone else, and do the same thing he's doing too you and let him feel the way you do.

and then finally, just leave him-- because he's not willing to change for you because he doesn't think you're worth changing for-- so why should you conform to EVERYTHING he wants you too do.

i'm really sorry that this is all happening too you. i just feel so awful!! :\ i hope this helped you though hun!! good luck sweetie!

Answer 5

Doesn't anybody know how to spell correctly and use punctuation. Most people over the age of 20 don't use text message shortcuts when writing.
But to answer you question...if I figured it out is......He wants to have his cake and eat it too.....The longer he can string both of you along.....that's just that much longer he gets sex from both......He loves knowing that 2 women are dumb enough to put up with it for so long.....and he say what he thinks you want to hear.......Open your eyes in stead of your.....well I believe you already know.....

Answer 6

Well, there's more than one take on your situation...but I always tell my clients, go with your heart...it's rarely wrong! What I 'hear' your heart saying is that this is not a good position for you to be in. If you want to remain friends, divorce him and let him loose. It is probably not good for you to continue to have sex with a man who sounds like he's moved on to 'greener pastures'. If you want to remain married to him, get counseling and see if he will agree to break it off with this other woman. If he says no, that's your cue...

Answer 7

if he really loved you he would be with you and not the other girl.Hes playing games he has you and her both for sex.You put your foot down tell him if he wants you and loves you and wants to keep the marriage that he needs to leave the other girl and come back home where he belongsI wouldnt be sharing my man with no one else.Please please open your eyes before you get hurt worse then what you already are.If he dosent leave the other girl then i would call it quits and tell him fine you want her so bad you can have her im gone.dont play second best to no one

Answer 8

Dump him and find a nice guy...oh and don't have sex with him anymore? You're nothing ut a booty call for him. He's having his cake and eating it too.

Check out the following website. It can answer your questions much better than I can. It also can give you a "bird's eye" view into a guy's psyche.

http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Answer 9

I don't see any difference between you and the so-called skank. You let your husband treats you like a whore and you encourage it. He comes over, screws you and pays your bills, yet he cheats on you on the side--and you still continue to sleep with him and take his money. He's never going to leave her, and you, my dear need to stop sleeping with him and taking his money. You're one degree close to a prostitute.

Answer 10

Sounds to me he is getting everything he wants.. still acting like he is married to his wife and living with another woman.. your stupid if you keep this up.. once he moved in with another woman I would have cut him off from my life.. if you don't start standing up for yourself he is going to continue playing this game with the two of you.. he doen't have to stop because you havn't made him