2006-07-21 02:16:01 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hey -- I hope you are well.
1. Not all men are effeminate -- I'm nurturing but no one thinks I'm effeminate -- my lover for the last nearly 15 years would be invisible if he wanted to be. There are no signs at all. One guy who had been in a study group with him back many years ago when he was in college was so shocked to find out he was gay after being in the study group with him for 3 years (it came up casually cause he was coming home for dinner and the guy said "girlfriend cooking?" and Jonathan said "boyfriend") that he kept repeating "you're gay?" and then ran out of the building (he later apologized).
On the other hand some bois are effeminate. Some of them are the sweetest gentlest boys in the world -- why do you have a problem with them I wonder?
In any event, I didn't fall in love with Jonathan because he was "masculine," I fell in love with him, that was incidental. If a sweet young gay boi who was effeminate had fallen in love with me and Jonathan hadn't -- guess what -- I'd still be with him instead. It's not BEHAVIOR you are attracted to -- its the male parts. Some guys attracted to male parts like manly men -- some like girly bois -- some like me, don't care. All of us however are attracted to male **** not breasts and to d**ks and as**s not c**ts. THAT's what makes a guy gay -- we have no interest in female parts at all.
Regards,
Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-07-21 02:43:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Gay people are more visible if they conform to the effeminate stereotype; you're far less likely to figure out people are gay if they act just like anyone else, which (in my opinion) not enough gay people do.
Anyway, a lot of gay people do live up to the stereotypes and there's a good reason for that:
I think the camp thing stems from early representation of gay men in mass media. In Hollywood films in the 1930s and onwards, there was absolutely no way you could show sex scenes at all; it was all metaphorically portrayed (sometimes quite crudely) by the use of Champaigne corks and water-fountains and what-have-you.
Representing a gay man proved even more of a problem.
You can't, as we see now, have them making affectionate contact with another man, and so the lack of understanding by the mass media, in conjunction with the negative attitudes towards homosexuality led to the to creation of the melancholy effeminate gay man, sad and alone but quite bitchy.
It's an identity bourne from misconception, narrow-mindedness and contempt, but it was the only representation out there. So growing up during that time and the following decades would mean being alone. And knowing you're gay meant you had to find an identity which you thought best suited you, since the identity of everyone else simply didn't fit. Which would lead you to find the unpleasant image of the effeminate man portrayed in the movies.
As bad a light as they were portrayed in, if you find someone else who's different in the same way you are, it's understandable you're going to take that identity as your own; this is what other gay men are like, so this is how I shall be.
The identity has evolved a bit, but that's my view on how the camp gay man came into being.
2006-07-21 11:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by relentless_behaviour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound harsh, but questions like this tend to perpetuate stereotypes. You may have had the best intentions, however, it makes me want to ask the question:
If women want driver's licenses, how come they all drive poorly?
The simple answer is, that's a very prejudiced question.
I feel phrases like "they all" and "always" and "never" are ABSOLUTES that are pretty much arrogant. Nobody and everybody are never or always one way or another.
Now... to answer your question (hey... I still love ya)
My feeling is that the media (geez, do we, or I, blame the media for everything??) likes to portray homosexuals in a more feminine spotlight. Why? It is thought of as more entertaining, and perhaps, especially for heterosexual men, it's less threatening for them. They can't associate with a flamboyant and/or feminine male. They identify with the macho, masculine, "straight-acting" (whatever that is) stereotype of what a male "should" be (oh... by the way... I don't like "should" either - the word "should" is a judgment in my opinion).
God forbid a heterosexual male see a male on television that they can identify with who happens to be gay! That would freak them out!
For the most part, I am an average 'mo. I have my moments where I lean to the campy or flamboyant. I "go there" when I'm looking for attention, or I'm looking to entertain my heterosexual (and gay) friends. It's fun, it's silly, it's a small part of who I am.
People are people, and have many different ways of presenting themselves - of becoming themselves.
"...they all act like women.." was your phrase. I know what you're asking, but I could also ask what kind of women are "they all" acting like?
Are "they all" acting like:
>masculine women?
>timid women?
>hookers?
>nuns?
There is a broad array of personalities, both in the gay and the straight world.
It may just be the only gay men you have come in contact with are ones that lean toward the more flamboyant of feminine. Or, WAIT... MAYBE you don't know that some of the gays that you have come in contact with are actually gay... because they are acting "normal."
Have a great weekend!
2006-07-21 10:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by TimNYC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all gay men act like women, a lot of the gay guys I know act pretty much the same as most of the straight guys i know - with one obvious difference
As for lesbians being attracted to women that look like men, some are attracted to what is known as the 'butch' look or like to take on a 'butch' appearance. However for most lesbians I don't think this has to do with wanting to be a man, or be with a man, it is more another form of female expression.
You cannot typecast gay men or lesbians into one role they are people like anyone else and express themselves in a multitude of ways; and are attracted to a multitude of different types.
Sorry if I've rambled on.
2006-07-21 09:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by naomi_kaia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a stereotype. All gay men don't act like women, just like all gay women don't act like men! There are plenty of people in this world that are gay, but you would never know it unless they told you.
2006-07-21 09:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by Naples_6 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think that because that's a stereotype you hold, so for the people who are out who aren't feminine (by society's standards; gender is a whole different discussion that frankly would go over your head anyway), you either don't notice or don't remember. It's your brain's way of making sure your wold continues to make sense. Men who don't fit your categories threaten those categories, so you disregard them. Likewise for behaviors within the very men you're talking about.
2006-07-25 09:06:23 · answer #6 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all don't act like women. The ones who act like women are the ones who are putting the image of the sterotype out there. But there are many gays who are very straight acting and act very normal.
2006-07-21 14:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If by "acting like women", I will infer you are referring to effeminate acting men.
Most Gay men are not effeminate. Some are, however, and they tend to be the most easily noticed, thereby giving the casual observer the appearance that "all" Gay men have effeminate mannerisms.
Best Wishes!
2006-07-21 10:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by Specious λ Neurotica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol good question alot of people say this is a typical stereo-type but in my opinion almost every gay man I've seen weather on TV or in real life do act really woman like, having said that i don't go looking for gay people so i wouldn't really know the whole truth behind this question. BTW if you all-ready didn't guess it, I'm straight, straight as an Arrow lol
2006-07-21 23:09:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah I've always wondered that too. Also, why in lesbian couples are lesbians attracted to lesbians that look like men when surely being a lesbian means that you like women and all that comes with that. I have a friend who is a lesbian and everytime I see her she is more like a man. I'm sorry I don't have an answer to your question but I think it is an interesting observation. Perhaps in every couple, no matter what gender, there needs to be one who takes a more male or female role in order for it to work.
2006-07-21 09:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by goldilocks 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋