am a chatty friendly person but feel a bit left out in the team. I don't mix with my collegues at lunch and end up spending by myself at my desk. I feel a bit awkward about this.
It's not as if I'm going to be in this job forever and don't expect to come out being best friends with anyone but any advice on feeling less isolated?
2006-07-21 01:47:57 · 15 answers · asked by Little minx 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Try to mingle a bit more, ask them for soem help, or offer it if u can....or just try to make conversations....c what they like....staying alone doesn't help at all!
2006-07-21 01:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by David 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat. I'm not sure how long I'll be here so the vibe around the office is a little strange. I'm a somewhat shy guy unless I know you. Which makes meeting new people very difficult. I have made a few friends and here's my advice. Find some kind of random topic of conversation that most anybody would be able to comment on and just start talking to people. If they respond in a friendly enough manner, then the domino effect has begun.
2006-07-21 09:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by mikey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there! Ouch. Well, I know it is the hardest advice to take, but believe me, unless you have a miracle worker over there (and it looks by now like you don't), no one else is going to take the first step. So, you need to buck up and start sitting in on lunch (if this is a lunchroom type of place), or "catch up" with a group and just say "Hey, can I just kind of jump in here?"
It's very scary to do this, I know. You may even be snubbed, which you have to be prepared for. But, usually, people will respond positively if you just open up. They may think you are stuck up, even if you are chatty (I know they do around here about me! But really, I'm just shy -- and a little deaf, which is why I don't do lunch with a bunch of people -- too much noise.)
Anyway, good luck and hope this helps.
2006-07-21 08:56:11 · answer #3 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak with your line manager about team building exercises or projects to promote everyone working together, or ask your line manager for a one to one to discuss this confidentially. If your line manager is any good, they should be picking this up and addressing it anyway! Why dont you mix with your colleagues? If you are worried about this, try asking to go for a coffee or something with them if you dont want to spend your complete lunchtime with them, thats a compromise. I used to have issues like this when I was a team member, so do know what it is like from both sides, there is a fine line between how 'friendly' you want to get with work colleagues, after all none have you have chosen each other. Its about compromise, maybe they view you as a little 'stand offish' this is why I suggest the coffee and team building, so that you become more approachable
2006-07-21 08:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by SunnyDays 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people take longer to warm up to other people. I started a new job in December and it has been very difficult. In fact, a couple of the women did every thing in their power to 'run me off'.
I dealt with it by continuing to do my best and focused only on learning. I also realized my being accepted by them was no so important. The people who mattered noticed what they were doing and they had a meeting. Things changed for the better.
Perhaps your situation is not so electric! Maybe you can initiate conversation, share a joke or comment on something positive to get things started.
2006-07-21 08:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by Madeamove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not an easy one this. The best route is to try and link up with one or two of the "crowd" then suggest through them that you would like to buy everyone a drink at lunchtime.
That may break the ice for you. Alternatively you could bring cakes into the office for a "celebration" [doesnt matter what!] then suggest a lunchtime drink or something afterwork
2006-07-21 08:53:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to befriend one person on the team... who you share the most interest with and try to work your way in from there. That's how I joined the "group" at my last job. I know it can be hard just to run up to a group of people and sit with them at lunch... so if you can befriend one person you can make your way into the group. Also these people sound like jerks, because when ever their is someone new at my job, I always invite them to lunch and get them to join the group. It's just called being polite.
2006-07-21 09:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on one person... make them your best friend on the job, then, after they see that you "fit" in, now, (as she will tell them ALL what you tell her), then you will be accepted.
They may think your a "stoolie" if you came in at some time when the boss was having troubles, or they were causing a ruckus and the boss needed to clamp down, or if you replaced some one the boss fired, and they may resent you and you know nothing about it!!
Ask around, and see what is going on...
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-07-21 08:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt a bit like that too, but I found the more effort I made with people the more I get back. really feel like part of the team now its great
2006-07-21 08:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by Irishbird3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny we have the same picture.to answer your question,I am the same way I stick to my self,it will keep you out of gossip,trouble,and remember we go to work for the money not to make friends,your true friend are the ones you had before you worked there.but if you really want a friend to pass the day with then wait till someone new starts to work there that feels the same way you do & become friends with them.
2006-07-21 08:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋