2006-07-20 21:36:07 · 10 answers · asked by theoden of rohan 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Sounds like you need to go talk face to face with someone. Pastor, priest, etc. You need to talk wth someone about it.
2006-07-20 21:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by billybetters2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilt is part of the grieving process no matter how or why someone dies.
In a way , you have to ride the wave until it passes.
Find yourself a quiet space and then voice your question to her.
If you are a spiritual person you will feel her answer.
The best of my knowledge that I can give you, is that even in her pain she wanted to spare you .
She wasn't thinking clearly at the end and she didn't see any pain she might give you, she simply wanted an end to the pain for her.
Take strength, you will come to terms with what happened if you allow yourself.
Suicide is the possession of the person who commits it; we can never make that choice for someone, nor truly prevent them from making that choice.
We can learn to accept their decision and go forward but it takes time.
2006-07-21 04:48:22 · answer #2 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did not choose to disclose anything to you. Perhaps she hated herself and convinced herself that the world, you included, would be better off without her.
But you KNOW that had you known what she was about to do, you would have moved heaven and earth to stop her. That knowledge should help you overcome the guilt.
Meanwhile, grieve. Cry. Hurt. Write...write letters to her...ask her why...tell her how you feel....write her a poem....write about the good times....writing is very therapeutic....But DO NOT blame yourself.
One of my closest friends killed herself 10 years ago....I never saw it coming....she had a son. I knew her life wasn't going well, but never suspected she'd end her life.
I blamed myself for a long, long time. Her suicide changed my life permanantly...it still influences decisions I make today with regards to how busy I let myself be...I try hard not to be too busy for friends...but I survived the guilt and ahve moved on.
Also, you might want to get with other suicide survivors for support. Here are some links I found:
http://p222.ezboard.com/bsuicidehelpforsuriviors
http://www.suicidology.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=48
http://www.survivingsuicide.com/
One of these might help you find a local group you can meet with.
2006-07-21 05:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear that. You can feel guilty if you want, but it won't do you any good. Her not telling you was not your fault. It's not about you. It was about her, so there is no reason to feel any thing other than sadness for her loss and happiness for having known and loved her. Treasure the memories, don't dwell on things that aren't your doing.
I am truly truly sorry for your loss. It may help relieve your pain to visit her family and help them through their grief. It could benefit everyone including you.
I advise that after you give yourelf some time for grieving, that you should go out and do things. But don't rush it. It will take some time for your pain to subside. But don't be afraid, you will be okay.
Things will get better if you let it. I hope things go well for you and her family. Take care.
2006-07-21 04:45:39 · answer #4 · answered by militantfairy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people who kill themselves leave a note or tell someone why they can no longer bear to live. If you don't know why, how can you feel guilt? If you do know why, learn from the experience and help others avoid the same pitfalls, don't let her death be in vain, if as you say, you really loved her.
2006-07-21 04:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by Marcus R. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you really need to mourn and go on with your life. She obviously had problems that she didnt want to share with you. Sometimes life isnt fair and this is one of these times but you/we need to all go on with our lives and try to make the world a little better place to live just for one person....YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-21 04:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by dede 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you really can do. Move on. You can't blame yourself for her decisions. I'm sure she had her reasons for not telling you, but what you need to do is try to work your way back up, don't give up. Also, I'd maybe try counseling
2006-07-21 04:42:22 · answer #7 · answered by bud_rog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that really sucks, sorry. but you should get with a therapist or counselor, or even your preacher to talk things out. i've had a friend do that and you just can't understand why. good luck finding help, MeL
2006-07-21 04:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by MeLissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was something in her life she couldnt face anymore, it had nothing to do with you, you just have to give up thinking about her and try to get a new life.
2006-07-21 04:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
share what with you
2006-07-21 04:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋