Hi all,
I did a sin, and now I need help! Our relationship has grown into a very deep and involved one. We've been seeing each other for 1.5 year; have been places, vacationed together, etc... Lately, I have been behaving not with as much of energy as before because my hope of her leaving her marriage diminished. So I have not been as happy and joyful, sometimes I have been annoyed and she noticed it. In the end of June we had a small misunderstanding where I felt I wanted to be alone for one day - she did not call or try to contact me for a few days, which spilled into a whole month of no seeing each other. Over the last few days we saw each other a couple of times and she let me know that she is not starting our relationship over again and I "must move on with my life". I am totally divested - I find I love this woman and want to continue hoping that she will someday eventually go thru divorce. She is not ready to make that final decision and told me that she might come to me if she becomes free.
What or should I even attempt to do anything to "fix" the situation or id it even worth it? I feel like I lost control and my life has ended. My life is not joyful as before without her and I do not want her not to continue with me. HELP! Please.
2006-07-20 21:03:05 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is incredible how many people seem to be attracted to those who are already attached. It is almost because they are attached that many people are interested in them in the first place!
However dating someone who is attached is bad news and something that you should not do. Here's why:
If you really like them, then you will get frustrated that they can never commit too much time to you
They are clearly unethical as it is not fair to date someone else when you have a partner
A leopard doesn't change its spots: even if by some miracle they do move on to you then you know what they are capable of and therefore trust will always be an issue to you.
Too many people spend time fulfilling the fantasies of someone else who thinks it is great to have two or more partners in the hopeless thought that they can change them, when really that person is just having their cake and eating it.
Dating someone who is married or going out with someone else also shows a lack of respect for yourself - you should deserve and feel you deserve someone who can commit all their time to you and is only interested in you.
Remember this if you ever get tempted to get involved in a complicated relationship like this!
Hope this helps~
2006-07-21 07:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by Bon Bon 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should , knowing the fact that she is already married. If her husband finds out, you'll be in deep trouble. There are many girls who are single out there. I know you might find her the special one but she is already married. You can't force one into divorce if she really loves her husband. To her, her husband is more special than you are in a sense that she spends more time with him because they're living under one roof. She might not feel comfortable in having an affair with you because she is already married and her reputation might go down the drain . I suggest you go for someone else who is single . If you really can't get her off your mind, just wait and see what her final decision is . Hope everything goes on well .
2006-07-20 21:16:16 · answer #2 · answered by Wide Ruled Paper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in the end you will be hurt. Any married person will screw around in the marriage and when put to the test of leaving the s.o they will not do that for one reason or another. So, ultimately you are setting yourself up for disappointment and heart ache all and all. So leave her alone, find a single woman and try being with someone who isn't attached to another. Good Luck!
2006-07-20 22:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by crzyernie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should drop the cheating woman. You are not any better by dating a married woman. This has been going on for so long and my opinion is that you see her for who she is and do her husband a favor and enlighten him on the person he may be duped into finishing his life with. I don't suggest that you tell him face to face or anything but he should know. His life has been messed with, if he chooses to seek therapy with his "wife" or to leave her and find an honest woman- it should be an available option. Do something right.
2006-07-20 21:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by erginflergin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well everbody sins. ur just a single man. she the one whos married and cheating not u. unless ur friends with the guy. it seems like to me she wants u just 4 sex and fun. she wants to stay married and have fun with u. so yeah she thinks she got it made and what she dont realize is it can all come down on her. so there nothing to fix man. she dont plan on leaving husband so u need to move on and find someone else. yeah she makes u happy and all but still she is toying with u. so why not u just enjoy the discrete realtionship if u cant do it no more then let her go. bottomline she a cheat and need to be punished
2006-07-20 21:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by SLICK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, there are millions of single-un-wed women in the world. Why would you get hung up on one that is married??? There are too many women out there for you to waste your time on one. Plus, how could you be happy living a secret life with someone who puts you second? Her husband is obviously first if she hasn't divorced him yet. Besides, why would you want to be with a woman who is cheating on her husband? What makes you think that if she leaves him to be with you, that she won't cheat on you? Have a little pride and walk away with what little self-esteem you have left.
2006-07-20 21:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by SoCalGal75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you committed adultry, so you should be unhappy. Why would you be rewarded for committing a sin.
Now, putting that aside, if this woman is cheating on her husband, what makes you think she wouldn't do the same thing to you. She cannot be trusted. If she made a vow to her husband it should be forever. Vows are not made to be broken.
2006-07-21 01:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by scheib65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave her alone, she told you clearly that she didn't want to carry on the relationship between you and her.
Move on boy!!!! There is a lot of pretty, single and available.
I know it would hurt you for a while but DON'T YOU EVER Love marriage woman AGAIN!!!!
2006-07-20 21:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by Push D'Button 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way you are doing it is quit risky this relationship. if the lady have children, that would be much more complicated. i hope u could think again before you make another move. please imagine if your lovely wife, the one you love was cheating on you with another guy?that is a very serious matter dude~!i advise you to stop this relation. at least you have a swet memory right?
2006-07-20 21:18:09 · answer #9 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how bad her husband is,she CHEATED on him,even if she got free and married you,no matter how much she loves you,one day she will cheat on you.Even if she didn't,wont the idea of her being cheating on you torture you and give you a hell of a time.Forget her and find yourslef a nice faithful single girl,there's alot out there.
2006-07-20 21:15:04 · answer #10 · answered by AB 4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋