i dont love my husband as i gave him up. i talked to him about divorce but he dont want. his family also not allowed. i gave him up for not even my fault and i also dont want to leave him without him or his family approval. is it my problem or his problem? he has financial trouble since first year of marriage. i've using all my savings and jewellries to helped him and worse of all, he filming me naked when i was drunked and slept like a hog. is it my fault to gave him up? should i forgive him? what must i do?
2006-07-20 20:44:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but i just dont know how to tell them......all family promised to help him to change. i wanted to leave but i just cant leave like that, not without a proper divorce. i did ran away for a week. but in the end back to him as my mom health getting worse. i dont know. i did everything. but none of them let me go even my own family. worse of all, my mom believe fortune teller said he is the best man in my life!!!! i did tried to leave, but his mom and my mom health getting worse becouse of me. i really dont know now......
2006-07-20 21:05:53 · update #1
how can i leave him without making anyone hurt? how to start all over? i cant start all over without leaving him first but i have tried many ways but failed....... how?
2006-07-20 21:10:59 · update #2
He is behaving selfish - while you did all the things you did out of love.
And - it shouldn't matter what his family says - and what he says.
You should do what you want - and you want to leave him, that's very obvious.
That should be the thing - the only thing - that matters.
No, you don't need to forgive him. In my opinion you should leave him as soon as possible because...
My impression may be wrong but it sounds as if you have a very low self-esteem - and that is something that's a signal that you are living in circumstances that are not good for you.
You don't need his "approval" (and even less his family's approval...) to make a decision. It is my impression that he is destroying your sense of self-worth.
He has used you - and of course, he doesn't want to loose the person who is doing everything for him even if it destroys her.
Sorry to say that but he sounds like a very selfish person to me.
The best you can do is to leave him. Do it for yourself, before you loose yourself only because you are waiting for the approval of persons who know *exactly* how to push your buttons. It sounds as if they want to make you feel guilty about something that is their own fault.
You are a free woman. Not a slave who has to stay with her masters until they set her free!!!
Addition: After having read the further details I want to ask you something...
Is your mother aware that you are very unhappy, that you are downright *miserable* with this man as a husband?
You do have a self-worth!!! You are the only person to judge if he is the best man for you. Not a fortune-teller.
It's very sad to read something like that. I'm sure your mother wishes you the best - but sometimes parents simply make mistakes.
You have to do what is best for you. Do you want to lead a miserable life only because others think it is the right life for you???
Your mother loves you, I'm sure. I'm also sure that she will think it over as soon as she sees that you are very much more yourself after you left him.
2006-07-20 21:06:59 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats definitely something you need to leave him to deal with on his own he treated you so wrong when he filmed you. You definitely need to drop him and go find someone out there who is actually worth your love. You dont need his approval to divorce him you are a grown woman and you have a life to live (we arent getting any younger any time soon) and right now he isnt doing you any good all he is doing is holding you back. And i kno it may seem like its love but it isnt not when he does you like that. So you need to go out in the world and find some real love, even though it may take some time, it will definitely be worth it if you find love.
2006-07-20 21:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mizz Lady 101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apply for divorce with a lawyer's help.Families are important,yes,they do tell us not to break for various reasons.But u are going thru a very bad married life.Is marriage a compromise wherein one of them is a total loser?
2006-07-20 22:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by aquarian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats his problem, him and his family has to deal with it because hes messing up - its his mistake that you've generously been kind enough to help with. if its financial problems that hes going through then theres nothing wrong that you're doing, dont let your kindness be weakness here, let him acknowledge the fact that he has to deal with it on his own and not depend on you. same goes with the family, they have to understand. if you really want to get away - then do what you gotta do.
2006-07-20 20:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by j1ero 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have done to help him is love .And what he is doing is not love but using you.you have to talk to him and take a solid decision as if you continue like this your life wii turn into hell.so search for your hapiness first.Good luck
2006-07-20 20:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by milly s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband sounds like a loser. if you do not have love for him, then you do not have a marriage to begin with. you're better off without him!
2006-07-20 20:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by grave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him my dear.
2006-07-20 20:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by sweetme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. he sounds like a jerk.
2006-07-20 20:49:53 · answer #8 · answered by Lotte T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋