army and left in january. we have been together for 3.5 years and had not spent a day apart from each other. i am really starting to miss him and i can't seem to stop thinking about him and the bad things that could happen to him. i have only seen him for 5 days since january and it is killing me. i have tried depression pills because my father was killed in november and it all piled on heavy and i just can't seem to kick the crying and thinking of the horrible things that could happen to him. can someone please give me some advice of what to do in order to stop thinking the horrible thoughts. i know this probably doesn't seem like a question but i think i just really need to get these feelings off of my chest because i have noone else to talk to...someone please give me some advice and please nothing stupid.
2006-07-20 20:03:22 · 9 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
another problem is the fact that i have no way of communicating with him unless we write but i need to hear his voice i have to have the assurance that he is ok and not in writing. does anyone know if it is possible to get ahold of someone on his base and have him call me?
2006-07-20 20:19:48 · update #1
nanna please contact me through email or something so i dont' have to post it everywhere
2006-07-20 20:40:42 · update #2
Yes its very hard to deal with the realities of being married to a service member, im not only the daughter of a retired military man but also the x wife of one (military wasnt the reason we divorced) so ive been where u are.. Its tough no doubt about it.. and its tough for him to be going through this as well, dont u think he'd much rather be in bed with u safe in your arms ? of course he would.. but he has a job to do.. an honorable one.. he needs your support to help him do his job well, he is serving his country for atleast the next 4 years.. , it hurts right now but its only going to make the times you are together even more enjoyable..and u wont take them for granted like most people take their time with their spouse for granted.. communication is the key and when communication isnt available to u and him, write him tons of letters.. he needs to know u love him, that your proud of him, that you support him, and that you miss him... He needs you to be strong so that he can be strong.. he's depending on u to help him get through this.. and hes depending on your love to conquer the time spent apart.. Try not to concentrate on how sad u are, and concentrate more on being strong for him, being the best military wife u can be.. if u love him like u say u do.. then draw strength from that love to get you through this and to get him through this.. if he knows your "hurting" he's going to be worried about u, and hurting on the inside himself and he needs to have his mind focused on his job at hand.. and he needs your help to do so.. My father served 2 tours in Viet Nam, and he said he couldnt of done it with out my mother sending him so many letters, pictures and care packages.. He needs u.. dont let your own emotions break him and you down..
Good luck..
2006-07-20 20:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look husband is doing the best he can and the Army could be the right thing for you both.Once he finishes his training you can have more time together and move to the base once he gets a permanent party status. Just try and support him as much as possible its not easy when he has to worry about you all the time and wont have is mind on his job it can be dangerous . So give him that support and be happy knowing that a career in the military can be be a satisfying life for you both . Start planning your life around the military it can be very fulfilling . Oh and remember all the jobs do not deal directly to combat Im sure he will be just fine!
2006-07-21 03:19:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girly you listen to me and you better buck the **** up and stop thinking those thoughts ! You gotta be strong and keep on keeping on while your mans away !
He's out there making you and your family proud , Bet you what though all he's worried about is you and your kids , he cant be having more thoughts rolling around his head about this that and the other thing and how you cant handle at home , the home , etc .
You be proud of him and make him proud of you , Get involved in something , go out with your friends , throw yourself into a hobby or your children and pray and pray . Go to a therapist if these thoughts are stopping you from living life as you normally would , you have to learn to balance it all at a moments notice and make do with what you got . Before you even know it he will be home again in your arms safe and sound and never more thank full to be there , and you the same .
2006-07-21 03:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by insertstrawhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always think the worst to. But to get me through the rough times I try to think of the good times. And start planning on the things you are going to do when you see him again.Start buying little things you know he will like Or have a special meal planned for just the two of you. Or even a party of everybody who misses him right alone with you.Buy him some sexy silly underwear. Think about how he will react to that. Think of the silly things he has done in the past and do something like that. Plan for your future together. Pray he comes home soon. I know you miss him very much But he is doing something very wonderful for our country God bless you both. Stay strong like he would want you too. I hope this has helped a little bit.
2006-07-21 03:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by Becky H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can feel your position and loneliness. Your husband has to work and has a duty at hand. Be strong. Try and contact him once in a while. Talk to him whenever possible. Make new friends. Engage yourself in some activities. Just keep yourself busy and act with maturity. Your love for your husband will make you see through all the tough days of loneliness.....
2006-07-21 03:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by relaxplease2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well at least it shows how much you care for him,as for some advice try going out and making a few new friends,try starting a few new hobbies,plus there are places you can go and talk to other women and men who are in your same position,contact the base he was sent out from and talk to the priest there ,I'm sure he can point you in the right places you need to be so you can get a little more support,until he gets home,sorry it isn't much but its the best i can tell you,good luck,and i hope you get to feeling better!
2006-07-21 03:15:59 · answer #6 · answered by hshellraiser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are not alone.
There are many other military family members feeling the anxiety that you are feeling. My sister's son spent two tours over in Iraq, and she dealt with the same emotions as you are describing.
She relied on family and prayer to get her through the tough time.
She also relied on the fact that she believed in her son's mission and supported his decisions.
Find other military people and meet with them in support groups. (These are available online and/or at Military bases.)
Find a loving and supportive church family.
Perhaps the link below will help.
2006-07-21 03:15:47 · answer #7 · answered by J C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband is in Iraq....believe me it is hard. but it is your mans job now ... the army is a life style most people don't see that....i will tell you right now !!!!!don't think about it ..... all it will do is make you F***ing nuts ((((TRUST ME!!!!)))) get a `hobie or a job stay busy ...is what i am saying...and when you think about horrible thing that could happen just remember HE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! TRUST IN YOUR LOVE IT WILL GET YOU THREW THIS
What base is he at??????
2006-07-21 03:34:00 · answer #8 · answered by nanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow so sorry..
2006-07-21 03:45:29 · answer #9 · answered by liltexas36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋