I have been married for 1 year, and I am pregnant with my first child. About 4 years ago I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, so I have a lot of widespread pain, and it gets pretty tiring and painful sometimes.My husband does not want me to work, it's not a controling thing, it's just he is from England and finds he has to support not only me, but his divorced mom, and his sister. I have just finished up getting my masters degree. He wants me to not work, but I can't be a houswife, because with the fibro, it's hard sometimes to clean, he dosn't even want me to clean, and hired someone to come in everyday, now he wants to hire a nanny for the baby, because I need a full nights sleep for the fibro, and frequently need to take naps during the day or rest. When I am able to I like to volenteer in the community and help people out.
Should I get a nanny? I just feel so worthless right now, because there is not much for me to do?
2006-07-20 20:02:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I will repeat others in saying you are so lucky to have such a supporting husband. I worked up until the day I was induced, not because my husband wanted me to, but out of financial neccessity. I went back to work a few days after. My husband worked first shift and went to college so I tried to be superwoman and do it all. I slept maybe 2 hours a night after getting up with baby, cooking, cleaning, etc. Let me tell you it created such a strain on our marriage we almost divorced. We are still holding off on having a second child because of our first experience. Take the help you can get, I know there is alot of pressure from outside sources(and from yourself) to be able to do it all, but if you wear yourself out, you will find it creates more problems than ever! Don't feel guilty ( it's a big trap most new mothers fall into), you will be providing your child with the healthiest environment! Ask any mother and i think most would tell you they would definitly hire help if they could afford to do so! I really, really dont want you to fall into the trap I did (I was so tired and depressed I could not even enjoy what was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life) please email if you need someone to talk to hvigue@yahoo.com
2006-07-20 21:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
probly the cleaning lady isnt a bad idea this way you go through less stress...im 16 and i cant remember a darn thing when i was a little baby...my dad made some home videos when i was little but that was the only way i could remember it...what im saying is that the baby probly wont remember there being a nanny to take care of him/her...i think your hubby is trying to be as considerate as possible....my mom does alot of cleaning around the house but its because i have two younger siblings...cleaning can be a struggle with the baby and all that stuff...
2006-07-21 04:18:08 · answer #2 · answered by alexdra9015 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like Innocent's answer but want to add that once the baby gets here, you will not be bored. You will wonder how to find the time to get everything done, including sleep. Have youconsidered working from home?
My husband works at an office and I stay at home with our children and make money from home. I have started several businesses while at home with the children. If you are creative you can come up with some way to have thebest of both worlds.
Good luck to you, hubby and baby.
2006-07-21 03:21:47 · answer #3 · answered by swankyandsweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off i am jealous, my bf let me get 2 jobs at one point while he had none throughout my pregnancy. your husband loves you, and wants to take care of you. Throughout the pregnancy I don't think you should work at all, you are going to get some hard times. I would either go back to work after you deliver, or be a stay at home mother, and don't let him get a nanny. a nanny if you work, no nanny if you don't. You got to have something to do, right?
2006-07-21 05:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you are so luck to have a wonderful supporting husband. Yes take whatever help you need, to have a safe and healthy baby. Pregnancy gets harder as it progresses, so go for it nanny or whatever. I wish you luck and Eric is a good name for a boy (my name) and Emily is a good name for a girl.
2006-07-21 03:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit down and have a talk with your hubby about how you feel. Let him know you feel helpless or that you feel like you aren't accomplishing anything. Discuss with him what you two can do about it so that you feel useful. I'm sure you have some talents that can make you feel better about yourself and dont cause strain on your body. Good luck.
2006-07-21 03:18:18 · answer #6 · answered by innosint_lil_angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Skip the nanny and get a cleaning lady. She can clean and do your laundry so you can take care of the baby! :)
2006-07-21 11:10:33 · answer #7 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the nanny definately, because you don't want to hurt yourself and you want to be around for your baby and just overworking while you're sick will just keep you tired.
2006-07-21 03:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jassy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a keeper to me!
2006-07-21 12:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by all_my_armour_falling_down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't work take some time off and pamper your self right now its important
2006-07-21 10:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by Heather H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋