So many people around me are prejudice against gay people, but I truly know that I am gay. I really love my family, but I do not want to hurt them. Is it better for me to keep it a secret than to hurt them?
2006-07-20 19:27:42 · 4 answers · asked by lawrencekid1974 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you should not keep it a secret. What makes you less deserving of a fullfilled life than anyone else? Shouldn't you deserve the thrill of bringing your new love home to meet the family? Shouldn't you be able to say "mm that Johnny Depp is a hottie", with out being afraid of what other's might say? Don't you deserve to be happy?
I don't know your family, so I don't know how to advice you to tell them. I know a guy at work kinda slipped it into everyday conversation. "yeah me and my bf ron saw that movie last night." It was funny, cause we were all so shocked, yet we respected him because he respected himself enough to know that he deserved the right to brag about his relationship with his signifigant other.
but remember, if YOU are not happy with your decision, than no one else will be either...
2006-07-20 19:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the big deal? So, I'm heterosexual and happy to be so. That's what I'd say if I told you that - yawn.
People need to be able to have their own convictions, worldviews and beliefs about it, so "coming out" doesn't force people to change their beliefs. But you're a human being for crying in the sink. You made your choice, even if they think it is wrong - they can't force you to do or believe anything. Okay, I don't think you were born that way or that it is genetic, in fact I believe it's an act of rebellion against God - and that's not prejudice - it's simply what I believe and you believe quite the opposite - you cannot change my beliefs anymore than I can change yours -but if you were my family member or friend I would not cease to care for you and I would not be shocked. Why does "coming out" have to be a rite of passage as it were? What's the big deal - it's a choice you make. If I want I can run out in front of a car in speeding traffic. Well, that's my choice and others just have to deal with it - if the people around you who care about you tremendously haven't already heard what your thoughts were about this while you were considering joining the gay lifestyle - then you weren't being open about yourself with them in the first place. I mean, you should expect them to be hurt about that in the least. If you were having homosexual thoughts and didn't share them with the people who really care about you then it's very disrespectful that you wanted to tell people in the gay lifestyle instead. You should never have kept your thoughts about gender and beliefs about who you are to yourself in the first place. If you only tell gay people about your thoughts and feelings they will only encourage you that you are what you are. If you had opened up to someone else you might have had more to go on in making a huge life altering decision. So, with that said, to believe what I believe is not predjudice and you should never hide your thoughts and feelings from people who care about you to begin with. Even if they feel differently than you. They will have to love you anyway and they will come around to realize that. You may be creating relational issues and it is a matter of conviction so you also have to respect that certain people you know probably won't be attending your wedding or supporting you in your choice. A person can care about you and love you without supporting this choice. You can't force others to do that anymore than they can force you into a heterosexual lifestyle.
2006-07-21 02:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there L. ....Secrets, are hardly good for the person that keeps them it weighs you down. Now Ive said this before but some people love you for the person that you are and not the person you so happen to love. with is great. and then their are those who will turn their back on you, but know this that it is them that is lost because they don't get to share in you lifes joys what ever they may be. My dad turned me away, my Mom didn't like it but respected me for the daughter I was and LOVED ME STILL. There is no right or wrong way about this it just has to be the best way for you. I always say if I tell someone that I love and sleep and have sex or make love to a woman and they turn from me in the moment that it took me to tell them that, then they did NOT LOVE ME AT ALL for I AM THE SAME PERSON. They just happen to know who I Make love with. You don't become someone different in the moment it takes you to tell someone YOU ARE STILL YOU. They just happen to know a little more about you. GOD BLESS AND HAVE FAITH.
2006-07-21 02:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by midget_1woman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My nephew had this problem, so he chose the easiest person first (me), he let that person get use it and talk about with him and from then on it was just one small step at a time, one person at a time, and he left those that he felt wouldnt take it well till last. When he got around to telling the hardest people, he already had the support of those whom he already told and were fine with it.
Good Luck, and don't keep it a secret forever, even if some people don't take it well, you will be so much happier being able to be yourself.
2006-07-21 02:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋