Wife is horrible with finances?

Question

I love my wife to death, but she continues to cause our bank account to be over drawn. I bet we pay 50-60 every month in overdrafts.

I have talked to her about it SEVERAL times and don't know where to turn anymore.

I am a stay at home dad and don't spend any money, but she goes to Sonic every day and get s her nails done and tans. She is wasting so much money I can't just sit by and let her do it anymore

Answer 1

Welcome to the club! Good that you don't give her credit cards - then it would be even worse to pay off these huge balances!

Seriously speaking, there are two possibilities

1) you can talk to her and give her cash only.

2) I know that in Europe there exist electronic cash cards - like debt cards except they already have cash loaded on them, so you can't overspend. Try to find a card like that here in the U.S.

Answer 2

Oh, dear.

Some people are just rotten with money, for whatever reason. Does your wife acknowledge that she isn't a good money manager? If so, then your next step is clear, if difficult: you must take over the finances.

It's to be hoped you cn do this with her consent and support; in fact, I'd urge you not to do it any other way. But, do it you must, as your mutual credit rating is at stake, not to mention your bank account!

I sure do wish you both good luck in tackling this serious problem.

Oh, by the way, you and your wife might find Sylvia Porter's book on money management useful, or at least interesting. It's packed with substantial help for you.

Answer 3

To avoid the possible fallout from the concept of "putting her on an allowance", I suggest THREE accounts:

One for bills, expenses etc, you deposit a certain amount each pay period to cover what must be paid and neither of you can touch it for other than it's intended purpose.

Split the amount remaining into individual accounts for you and her, each to spend as you like. After all, once your expenses are taken care of it doesn't matter how the rest is spent. If she chooses to waste hers, it's not your concern. And what you spend (or don't spend) from your account is not her concern.

Answer 4

Financial mismanagement in our home was one of the things that caused the divorce of my first marriage and it took a long time to financially recover. My previous wife was a spender, credit card user, and had all sorts of gimmicks to ignore financial good sense and it caused major problems. Your wife truly needs to understand the evil consequences of poor money management and the untold stress it can have on a family. I wish you well and hope you find an effective solution - something she wants to share the challenge with you as a cooperative partner.

Answer 5

If you had a job you might have enough cash in the bank to prevent the overdrafts. I know it's tough having children but hey the world can be an exspensive place and perhaps she is simply trying to tell you that it pisses her off that you are at home while she works.

Maybe she's passive aggressive.

Try a budget if she agrees with it you may be able to control her spending.

I feel you pain my man.

Answer 6

You need to sit down with her and have a serious chat. Maybe she can by an at home tanner? It would be better for her skin, and probably less money out of the bank account.

Maybe she can get her nails done less, or maybe do them herself?

Answer 7

Hey man I know how u feel my X wife (notice X wife) was the same way w/ money she was always over drawing our checking acc. One month she had over $400. in overdraft fees alone so I know how u feel. She would buy things even if there was no money in the checking acc. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN !!! Sh!t like that can cause problems in a relationship. As to how to stop her, well you know her best hopefully she won't always be like that. I wish u luck.

Answer 8

Take over the finances and give her an allowance. I have to I have the same problem it sucks I feel like such a B---H sometimes. Lunch you have to make it for them or mine won't take one. Show her how much she is wasting and what she could buy (something she's been wanting) Good luck

Answer 9

don't feel bad. I have bailed my wife out of jail 3 times because she wrote bad checks on her fathers account. I had to take over her fathers accounts and completely separate myself and her father financially from her. Thanks to her, we almost lost the land that has been in his family for 3 generations. I now control all of my and his affairs-she has no access to any of our money. I pay the bills and don't depend on her for any financial help. Anything she does now is on her-not on us. I paid over $10000 paying off crap that she did-$3000 in bad checks alone. I didn't find out what she was doing until it was almost too late since it was her and her father-I tried to stay out of their affairs, but when I had a Deputy pull me over to serve an arrest warrant on her, you can imagine what happened after that.

Answer 10

i think you should tell her that your gonna have to start just giving her a little bit of money to spend all week and that your doing it because the two of you need to start living on a budget and that it's not personal the two of you just cant afford everything you guys buy but that you still want her to have nice things just in moderation