in the past week, i have lost two very dear friends; my brother-in-law's mother, & a close friend from church. i have been crying off and on since saturday when i found out about "granny-granny" being taken to the emergency room,& being in critical condition following emergency surgery. it doesn't help they live 8 hours away, & i've not seen them since thanksgiving. she passed away sunday morning, then i learned of my friend's passing -after a hard fought battle with colon cancer-(monday night) on tuesday afternoon. this was too much for me, and i broke down in tears. my husband, who has worked in the emergency rescue services for the last 15 years (currently as a paramedic), said, "i'm sorry to hear that, but if it was their time, it was their time, and there's nothing we can do. there's no point in crying over it now." is this just typical male behavior, or has he taken the emotional detachment from his job too far? when i ask him, he says i worry too much. am i just being paranoid?
2006-07-20 18:35:05 · 5 answers · asked by ditzi_k 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Working in public safety absolutely demands that professionals distance themselves from the emotional stressors of tragedy. However, being married demands equal discipline to embrace those same events when they happen at home for the health of marriage and family. If your husband has been emergency services for fifteen years, he knows that and has no doubt known people who did not do it and suffered.
That said, you need to ask yourself how he reacted to death and other emotional stress before entering his public safety career and decide if this behavior is different. But, without question, you should not let this lie. It's not about him...it's about you and the health of your marriage and that can only survive with a concerted effort on both of your parts.
Hope that helps.
2006-07-22 07:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by mb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a paramedic, he knows that when a call comes through it is not going to be good news. Someone is in trouble and needs help and sometimes no matter how hard he tries to save them, people don't always make it. He's right, when it's someone's time to go, nothing is going to stop that from happening. Even though he isn't as emotionally supportive as you would like him to be, he understands as he sees this first hand more than people realize.
2006-07-20 18:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im actually an EMT right now and going to be going through paramedic school soon, but in this field death is all around you. It's hard to understand and even more so to explain to someone who doesn't deal with it on a day to day basis.
Talk to your husband. Make sure he's telling you whats on his mind.
Anything kept inside, builds inside.
2006-07-22 04:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by ]{ane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are not as emotional as women, but him being a paramedic makes his emotional detachment even more
2006-07-20 18:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His job is one of the toughest gigs around. Cut him some slack and let it go.
2006-07-20 18:39:09 · answer #5 · answered by killmylandlord 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋