You see, you hear
Of something so real.
You feel sad. You feel bad.
You feel something, but not Everything.
But when it's you,
You feel shattered.
You feel the pain inside.
You know what it all means, now.
You feel everything.
2006-07-20 17:58:40 · 23 answers · asked by MADRA 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
the light is your source keep going to feel the rage of the force.threw the cold dark rage you feel the eyes upon u stabing your soul then you blink.................trun the page.................the rage will bring true misery in the hearts that are week but the blood of the body will sure to leek.....out of every pore...the wine will wash up on the shore...........bang...bang.....u awake and realize it was all a dream...................misery beach
email me lets talk:]
2006-07-20 18:10:18 · answer #1 · answered by neverchild 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Poetry is not just what you say or mean, poetry has to carry musicality, the words have to ring, tingle and dance. Also, poetry is like a painting in that it has to touch your most inner chords. Your poem may be attempting to reach the second goal, but fails the first.
2006-07-21 01:46:25 · answer #2 · answered by Alex S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very good. I like its emotional simplicity and its timbre. Would you give me a critique on my short story on my 360 site, I would be grateful as you obviously have a talent. My story is called My Titanic Story and you can find it at the link below. Lets have somemore of your poems.
Jules, Australia.
http://au.360.yahoo.com/julesgr7351
2006-07-21 01:10:01 · answer #3 · answered by Jules G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Like it! Good interpretation of love gone wrong and the experience you gain from letting go. Keep writing with that feeling!
2006-07-21 01:04:49 · answer #4 · answered by seferena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My interpretation of ur poem:
Its love.
LoVE IS SO perfect when you see it from the other side... but when it happens to you.. everything is so clear..or hazy..or maybe something in between...
You feel happy and sad... love itself is an oxymoron.. but we love LOVE because its so spontaneous...never know when ure gonna lose it or get it....thats what brings pain....no one likes to have anything taken away from them .....
2006-07-21 01:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by silver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad at all!keep up the good job!any way i'm also intersted in poetry as well...you can share with me sometimes!
2006-07-21 01:04:15 · answer #6 · answered by nabila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice. But it may be a little better if you shared what caused the pain. What is the real?
2006-07-21 01:01:57 · answer #7 · answered by dearborne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent. Covers feelings themselves, and the difference between observing them and experiencing them.
2006-07-21 01:06:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ending isn't bad. The beginning is pretty lame.
2006-07-21 01:01:32 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are an inspired young poet who should continue to read and study and learn.
Look forward to your future attempts.
2006-07-21 01:03:37 · answer #10 · answered by Ben 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋