does anyone want to take the time to read this and tell me what you think?

Question

my stomach turns and my body aches
my mind races as my spirit breaks
thoughts of nothing cloud my head
while burried emotions rise from the dead
this paralizing pain is to much to bare
but my face shows nothing but a blank ugly stare
then a wave of heat covers me and my hands shake uncontrolably
my mind starts racing frantically and all i can hear
is the ear numbing pounding of my blinding fear
in a panic i run towards the door
but my mind is too weak to take anymore then and there i fall to the floor
curled up in a ball i lie as i silently begin to cry
all my hope has slowly died
there is no where left for me to hide
all my dreams have disapeared
and i have never been this scared

Answer 1

I smiled
it was funny
not great
but okay
so are you
and with who?
do you share this love?
not me of course
bloody and blind wins the battle
Clean and Pure wins the war
Hating to love
and Loving to hate
the hat comes off with the gun
shoot me now he screams
why disobey?
going along then it hit me
not a thought or idea
but the bullet
of the gun
held by the man
of my dreams
cherish the moment
if you can
Living to die
and Dieing to live
For I am the law and you have broken it
my heart
is strong
was
never
has
never
will
Running away
blinded by tears
nothing sentimental
just flying in my fears
Laughing all the way
until
clock strikes three
I strike you
on the head
I love you
Connan O'Brien!!

Answer 2

dear sarahmusichomicide, first of all I could say you should be thankful to God (or for my believe Allah the only God), because I've got the same condition. This is the way Allah shown his presence. Noted that when that situation happened, we as human, feel powerless, very vulnerable, little, hopeless etc. etc. not only if we believe there is only One who controlled our destiny not others. If we submit our faith to Allah, then our feeling the subside and turns into understanding that we are nothing in front of Allah. It is only the feeling of having angel of dead just coming right around the corner of our block (not even in our house or room), we are pretty sure that death is coming to you. What we can do? Many people mislead this situation by saying they can cheat dead (although just for this instance) and move on with their live. Many people miss the message gave us over and over again. Allah is giving his presence here and there in everyone of us, and believe it or not, in a very cheerful way (I mean that situation almost certain bring us joy instantly). Sometimes people forget that the 'bless' from Allah give us not only about happiness, joy, wealth, health, etc but also Allah give us permission to feel sad, misery, poor, sick, humiliated, etc. So, be grateful that you have opportunity to experience and understand about that situation. Peace

Answer 3

It's a well-done poem...if this description of a major anxiety attack or whatever you'd like to call it is indicative of how you are frequently feeling, though, please get yourself to a doctor, tell that doctor the truth of how you are feeling, and then follow up, on whatever is recommended, be it medication for awhile, or some counseling, etc.

If you nip this thing in the bud, you'll be much happier for it later. On the other hand, if you do not mind allowing yourself to get into this state, such CAN be a method to tap into more artistic expression...

Answer 4

I'm not really a fan of the couplet rhyming thing, it tends to be a little sing-songy, and this was no exception. It's dark (which can be a good thing in poems, but this is overly so), a little amateurish, and you spelled a few things wrong.

However, the description of the feelings is vivid and very complete. If your (or the author's) descriptive skills are consistently that good, there's obviously skill inherent.

Answer 5

I think it was really nice...well it was beautifully written and seems like it is from the heart of whatever or whomever you are writing about. What is it for? You seem like you like to do poetry and don't seem to be very bad at it. Great job, I really enjoyed reading it, it seemed that the pain you are feeling really jumps off at the person reading it and can almost feel what you are going through or relate it in some way to what them as the reader is going through. Great job.

Answer 6

What a sad and happy poem both at the same time! You have such feeling along with showing indifference. We have all felt that feeling some time in our lives. This poem is a great story of young person in turmoil with their emotions. Keep it up! Nice piece!

Answer 7

A simplistic ryhme. It smells of having been written by a 16 year-old. But I could be wrong...

Answer 8

....it has been read...... I won't tell you what I think.. I will tell you what I know.... you are growing. Be not afraid.

Before you can experience the new you must shed the old...

Ring a friend and invite them out dancing... take a break from yourself...

Go and have some fun

Peace

Answer 9

OMG. It's beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. Probably because it sounds like my son. As the other answer said, if this is not poetry but how you feel, please get some help.

Answer 10

I think you need a long vacation 5 days in asia to put your life into perspective.

or you can always vounteer to help other people to put your life into perspective.