what do i do?

Question

I just found out a few nights ago, when my parents didn't know i could hear them fighting, more than i should know. My dad cheated on my mom some time ago. I don't know how long however. And I also found out that my parents aborted their first child. I pretty much hate my dad right now and i don't knowhow to feel that they had an abortion. I want to know when my dad cheated on my mom. and also, i want to know why they had an abortion and what the circumstances were. I dont know how to ask them about it, or wether i should since they dont even know i know any of this. I'm 16 yrs old btw. what should i do?

Answer 1

That is not your business. You are suppose to study. Never ask them till your dad or mum tells you. Leave the couple alone and mind your own business.

Answer 2

Wow - this is a horrible thing to find out! I'm really sorry. I'm not really sure how close you are to your parent's. Personally - I am closer to my Mom (of course she is the only one I had). I would think it would be easier to approach your mam and ask her. I don't think it would be that great for you to act like you didn't hear anything either. This is a huge deal and it is somewhat life changing. Your parents have a right to know why you are (possibly) being different towars them. They also need to know that if they are fighting about something that you shouldn't hear - they need to do it quieter or when you are not home.

You really need to find some one-on-one time with the parent that you are closest with and let them know that you over hear there fight the other night and that you have some questions about some stuff you heard. Your parent might not want to talk about it because it may be to painful. It that is the case then maybe they'll tell you when they are ready. If they are okay with answering your questions - tell them that you overheard that your dad had an affair and that they aboted a child.

You may not get your questions answered, but at least it will be out there. It will make it easier to move on with as well - you wont feel as if you are hiding a dark secret or lying.

This was a really good question and I hope I helped at least a little bit with your question. Have a great night and good luck!

***The spellchecker is having problems so please excuse all of the misspelled words in here!***

Answer 3

I'm 15 and if I was in your shoes i would 1st wait a while and see if they decide to tell. If too long pasts before they tell u... Never ask about ur dad cheating on ur mom but do ask him, both parents if u want, have they relationship always been great n how do they keep it 2gether all of these years. C where dat goes. U might get wut ur lookn 4. With the abortion thing, make small talk with ur mom around dat subject, but if dat dont work r u dont feel comfortable talking 2 her about it, try talking 2 someone else that u are close to in the family like an aunt, a sister, ur grandma, r ur mother's best friend. GOOD LUCK

p.s. feel free to email me at [e-mail] n please pick this answer as best answer!!!

Answer 4

I know people are saying its none of your business, but IT IS! That would have been your sibling and it could have been you. I think its your right to know and you are now old enough to know things. Sometimes people grow apart so they cheat, I am not condoning it but thats somethign people to. You need to tell them you over heard. My mom may/may not have aborted a kid before me and I haven't asked her but I know I will eventually, when I actally see her. I want to know because I have no siblings and when my parents die all thats left is me and it would have been nice to have someone who was also apart of them to have around. There are some things my parents haven't told me and some things they have. They feel that if they don't wnat me to keep secrets from them then they shouldn't have a bunch of secrets either. In my opinion I think you should ask hun.

Answer 5

Oww.that's so sad. But I think there's nothing you can do right now. But keep in mind that they still love you so dearly. It is all about their past anyway. Also it is pointless to know when your dad is cheating on your mom. In marriage sometime mom and dad had an arguments here and there, but they'll be like teletubbies in no time, hugging each other.

So keep it to yourself, and if it still bother you, ask them someday in an appropriate time.

Good luck !

Answer 6

ok...you overheard somethign you should not have. I am sorry to hear that. or rather you were sorry to hear that.

I would confront my mom about it. Just tell her..."hey mom, you and dad were fighting a couple of nights ago and I overhead you guys arguing..i wasn't being nosey but you guys were yelling soo loud that I couldn't help but hear." Simple as that...U should not ignore this...THIS IS BOTHERING YOU. and you definitely deserve answers!!

Your mom should tell you the truth..and if you are close with both of them then you should confront them both...together. It's up to you who you want to confront.

Don't hate your dad....he is the only one y ou got just let him tell you. You are at the age that you can pretty much handle an adult conversation and the bottom line is that your mom and dad were arguing a bit too loud for you to overhear and since you overheard their dirty laundry you definintely need to know what is going on. In my opinion if it was sooo secretative...then they should have watched on the level they were speaking for you to hear.

Please don't forget about this since this is bothering you very much in order to write it on here! you will remember this for years to come. I am much older than you but I remember something like this sorta story that i overhead my parents arguing about! I dealt with it. Told them and we all talked about it.

if you want to email me you can talk anytime...good luck Sweetie

Answer 7

the best thing to do is tell the both of them you need to talk and tell them you are curious about some things thet are bothering you and then explain you herd them having an argument and want to know about the things you herd them say & let them know how it makes you feel be honest

Answer 8

Mind your own business, until one of the parents tell you everything.

Answer 9

every body makes mistakes. So if you made a huge like that, would you want your parents to yell at you about the mistake you made or would you want them to keep it to theirselves?

Answer 10

as wronge as it is.....save it for when u crash ur first car...then just throw it out there and switch the subject