I have been trying to get my husband to wake up in the day, but it never works. He ONLY wakes up when his friend comes over for lunchat 1:00 in the afternoon or if he has somewhere he wants to go. I never get to do anything for myself unless I take our 3 children with me, and that is hard, especially in the heat. my ac is out in the car, so I cannot get the new baby out until after sundown.
He says he loves me, he just enjoys his lifestyle as it is, in the mean time I am miserable.
do you have an idea of how I could change this? it truley has been happening for 4 years now, and he only works part time hours.
2006-07-20 15:58:03 · 17 answers · asked by proud mommy and wife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he has a good income.
2006-07-20 16:02:57 · update #1
START PRAYING SWEETIE! GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND START PRAYING YOUR HEART OUT THAT GOD WILL FILL YOUR MAN WITH LEADERSHIP AND RESPONSIBILITY. GO TO CHURCH. ASK THEM FOR PRAYER. PUT YOUR CHILDREN IN THE CHILDCARE SO YOU CAN HAVE A BREAK AND ENJOY LISTENING ABOUT HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU. PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR NEW BABY. I WILL TOO. :)
2006-07-20 16:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by Raquel 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I could be wrong, but a marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Equal work, equal rights, and all. That is not what I read here.
I would make two appointments for the same time. One for you, one for the kids, for example. Since you can't be in the same place, at the same time, he will have to help.
Then give him a week's notice that he will have to handle appoint B, while you handle appointment A. if and when he pitches a fit, just let him know that everybody in the family is counting on him to step up. Don't get mad, just be firm and maybe concerned.
Remind him each day about the appointments, and how much you like him helping out. (Subtle encouragement)
If he is still throws a fit. calmly explain that situations like this are going to happen, and that you are not the only adult in the family, to take care of the family. He can not be so clueless that he does not understand that you and he are a team, and not a substitute care-giver.
Hopefully, he will see that he has to step up. If he does not, and it is an issue with you still, then you might need some help from counseling, and/or family.
Good luck.
2006-07-20 16:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by Khalen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick the lazy bum out of the house, and I mean it. If he is not clinically depressed, or suffering from either a physiological or mental disease, there is no reason why a healthy, mature adult should sleep all day, work part time, and hang out with his buddy while his wife raises the kids. This shows a total lack of respect for you, complete irresponsibility, and utter and complete selfishness. Tell him to find a real job and get himself on the good foot as of yesterday or you will seek a divorce. Stand firm, he needs a good kick in the posterior to wake him up and realize that he has a family. He's on the same level as a high school drop out with a paper route. Also, is he doing drugs? This is not normal behavior and you do not have to accept it.
2006-07-20 16:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Grudge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't love you if he continues behavior that's not good for you or the family. When you love someone it shows in the way you treat them. Why would he want to change he's got the best of both worlds. So the ball is in your court. Why are you still with this man? Start to makes some plans to put him out. Don't let him get by without paying child support,,,,,,he's not the kind of man who will take care of his children willingly. Do this for you and your children.
2006-07-20 16:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a worthless, loser, lazy man and you are in need of ridding yourself of him. He is a horrible example to his children and it is time he takes responsibility and be a man and a father!
You CANNOT change him if he won't, you can however, walk away, file for seperation and maybe, just maybe he will go seek help and you all can work on your marriage. If he is so self centered, there is a huge chance he won't change. Since you are living on the edge and doing it all now, what is the loss in him being gone??????? As long as you tolerate it, he will continue he has no motivation whatsoever to change his behavior, let him know you are serious.
2006-07-20 16:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in the world do you survive on part time work this day and age? He works part time, while you work 24/7 taking care of your 3 kids and he won't help out??? That's really sad. I don't know how you can get him to change. I don't think he wants to change. He has the life only others dream of having. Best thing to do is to get tough and tell him like it is. Those kids are not only yours, but HIS too. Suggest to him counseling or CHANGE.
2006-07-20 16:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that! Stop washing his clothes and cooking for him. And one of the times he is awake tell him you are leaving and you will be back soon and go enjoy your afternoon. Let him know what its like to be a full time ADULT! Good luck
2006-07-20 16:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by h0w U liK3 m3 n0w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use his money to get your AC fixed.
Does he work evenings or long shifts? Is that why he is not getting up during the morning like most normal people?
2006-07-20 16:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put all the children in the room with him, tell him you are going out and leave. He will wake up when they all start hollering at once.
2006-07-20 16:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by jbpammy004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-02 10:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you than talk to him about it. He will understand and try to make a change for you.
2006-07-20 16:03:30 · answer #11 · answered by GirlintheWorld 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋