How can u get rid of shyness?

Question

I'm too shy!I can't act normally around ppl I don't know.And they end up thinking I'm weird but that's so not true!What can I do to get rid of this shyness

Answer 1

I used to be the same way when I was in my late teens and early 20s. People used to always say I was so quiet. I just couldn't think of anything to say.

You'll probably grow out of it. I would try joining some sort of group - a 12-step group (AA, OA, Alanon, Acoa, Coda) would be good if you have any kind of addiction. 12-step groups are free. If you don't want to go to a 12-step group, then maybe a counseling group. These groups are good because people share their problems and you get to learn that we are all pretty much alike. You could also join some sort of a church group or spiritual group.

Anything that you can do to build your self-esteem would be good. There's a book by David Burns called 10 Days to Self-Esteem or something like that.

Eventually, you will probably just grow out of being shy. Just give yourself time and acceptance. Good luck.

Answer 2

You just need more confidence in yourself. Observe the people around you to see how they act and then learn from them in how they communicate with others. If you have a story that relates to a topic being discussed, then share it with them. If you don't know what to say, then staying quiet is okay too. If you think you are going to say something weird, then don't say anything at all. If someone tries to talk with you, instead of getting nervous, listen to what they say so you can respond. You just need to be around people more. It's natural and as you grow, i'm sure you will overcome that shyness because you will possibly make some friends. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Several recent studies indicate that much of shyness is genetic. So you can only get over it so much. One bit of good news is that shyness is like hair. -- people tend to naturally lose a lot of it as they get older.

Also, remember that the more confidence you feel in a situation, the less shy you will be, so find ways to develop confidence. You can practice your conversational skills with people you feel comfortable around, and that may give you more confidence that you can do OK talking to others as well.

Perhaps you lack confidence because you are afraid of criticism and/or disapproval. You could practice dealing with such negative situations in the safe environment of a chat room or debate oriented message board. Then you might feel more able to handle "real world" conflict should it happen.

Answer 4

I have the same problem. What I do is that every school year I make a goal to come out of my shell a little further. Try smiling more, going up to someone and talking to them first. Start with little stuff and then over time you will not be as shy. I know that I was really shy and I am not so bad anymore. I wish you the best of luck.

~bored_rena~

Answer 5

just relax. the problem that shy people have is that they are extremely sensitive to stimuli around them. they believe that everyone else sees things the same way they do. So, they think people pick up on every breath, blink, word, or movement. Realize that people don't pay attention to things in the way that you do. Take a deep breath, relax and be yourself. Don't try to under act, don't try to over act. Just go with the flow!!! You're fine, you're weird just like everyone else is weird! You're just more sensitve about it. Keep trying and get out there, spend time with people and you'll get over it.

Answer 6

Just don't be so nervous about anything... be yourself and relax =) ohhh and don't think everyone is always judging you 24-7 they are wondering more about other things... and what you may think about them.

Go to parties or social type places and look for people that you feel comfortable talking to, and stay close by them.

it's ok to be shy sometimes, some people like that cause they want to talk to you and get to know you better. =)

Just make sure you have interesting things to talk about always up your sleeve.

Make sure you are dressed nice to and that you feel comfortable and nice looking.

if you are scared to be around alot of people you might have (social anxiety) and you might need to see a Dr. about that, but I think you should be ok =)

Answer 7

Well you can start off with compliments. (Ex: Hey I like those shoes, or you look nice today.) That'll get a toe in the door. Then throw in some ice-breakers (ex: Do you come here often?, What's the deal with such and such? What's your name?) After that you'll get a flow of things, if ya need more help just ask.

Answer 8

It's really hard to change who you are, and your personality. It helps sometimes to just ask people questions and listen to them talk about themselves. You'd be surprised how much you can have people open up just by asking questions. Either way, be proud of who you are and don't try to be too extraverted because it will take a lot of extra energy from you if you are a naturally introverted person.

Answer 9

You have to streak through Central Park. 4 out of 5 psychologists agree that this is the fastest way to defeat shyness.

Answer 10

You have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone and force yourself into social situations.

I was really shy until I started a career in sales. Now, I have to get out, meet people and network. It has done a lot for me both personally and professionally.

Do some volunteer work and get out there! Put yourself in situations where you have to meet people. You'll be glad you did.