I had posted a question earlier about my husbands brother and decieded to go to bed about 30 min. ago he came in and confesses his love for me and tried to "make love to me" he said he will not live without me and will not stop I called my husband home from work and told him it was an emergency he came home and threw his brother out now his brother wants to come back he promises it wont happen again my husband feels bad and wants to let him in i feel uncomfotable and unsafe my huband bought me some mace should I allow him back in or let him sleep on the porch outside it is raining i feel like crap now I dont want this to ruin our marriage
2006-07-20 15:05:15 · 39 answers · asked by sunnyday 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Reguardless of how it sounds we are a normal suburban couple with a new baby and my husband has a good job in the city I can not help it if he has a loser brother we were trying to help.
2006-07-20 15:14:31 · update #1
GIVE HIM A TENT AND HE CAN SLEEP OUTDOORS!!
2006-07-20 15:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 8⤊ 3⤋
The question isnt how your husband feels about his brother, or feeling bad ect.. the question is how do u feel.. will u be able to feel comfortable with him in your home..?? if not then say your sorry but that u just dont feel comfortable with him in the house anymore when your husband isnt there.. Its your home, u should be able to feel safe in your home, and c'mon, does ur husband really think that he's going to change his ways that fast??? , he may change for the moment but the next time your alone.. he's going to try something again.. he said "he will not live with out you and will not stop" that right there would scare the hell out of me.. i said DONT let him back in .. and i think if your husband loves u , he should respect your wishes its not your fault that his brother did this..
2006-07-20 15:18:57 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your brother in law live with you? If so I would have some VERY clear rules in place and the understanding if he violates them he is out. I would also only allow him to be in the house when your husband is home. If your husband goes to work, your brother in law must leave the house. If that means he has to go to a mall and walk around, a friends house etc. than thats what he has to do. Remember you are the victim, and he will most likely do this again, and if he makes you uncomfortable than make sure you keep your distance.
If he doesn't live with you, I would suggest that he has to call and make arrangements in advance if he comes over and he is only welcomed with your husband is home. If your husbands car is not in the driveway he has to to wait to come to the door - however make sure he understands he still has to call before coming over.
2006-07-20 15:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by Midwest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is wrong for wanting to let him back in!! Especially after what he tried to do with you! I understand about wanting to help siblings, I do, but sometimes you have to put your foot down and stop them from crossing your boundaries. A little word of advice, if your husband allows his brother back into your home, this will be the biggest mistake of his life, plus VERY uncomfortable for you. I remember answering your other question. I'm glad to see you decided against sleeping with him. THAT would have destroyed not only your marriage, but your self respect. Stay away from this brother and tell your husband you need to be as far away from him as possible.
2006-07-20 15:40:37 · answer #4 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shear madness. I understand family and all but this is a threat to your relationship. Thank God you were strong enough to get away from the situation, that would have been even more of a disaster if you "caved in." I'm sure your hubby appreciates your faithfulness.
As for the brother, he's an ***. And your husband is being too nice. Yes he is his brothers keeper, so I can certianly understand his concern, but he's now compromised their relationship. The brother has crossed the line and needs to find a new abode. If it was my husband, not only would he have gotten "kicked out," he would have gotten "kicked...." we certianly don't play those games.
Send him packing!
2006-07-20 15:14:36 · answer #5 · answered by cinimon_s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband let him in after this, I hope he knows his brother well enough and knows he got his lesson. But still, discuss this with your husband - I feel he is putting you into a lot of stress and uneasy situation to let him in again after what he did. Did you have something to say in the decision? If the brother does it again, don't waste time on this and call the cops and then for sure, think about a restraining order.
2006-07-20 15:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by Shaana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband. i do not care how persistant his brother is. Are you so weak that you imagine you may want to offer in? if it fairly is the case,each and every of the more effective reason that you may tell your husband. it truly is a few thing your husband desires to understand. you're saying you've purely been married for 3 months, properly it truly is time that you imagine of the guy you married. How might want to you experience if this were your sister making strikes on your husband? you may want to favor to understand. tell your husband.
2016-11-24 23:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mace is a good thing, but your husband is not in his right mind to let him back in the house. What if his brother rapes you? Get him out whether your husband likes it or not.
Make him choose to have you move out or his brother stay somewhere else for your safety. Or only allow him to be there when he is there with you. Your husband is nuts to trust him!
2006-07-20 15:48:17 · answer #8 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't be soft-hearted towards your husband's brother. He is out of his mind already. I'm not asking you to be a cruel person but you need to stick on your principles and for the safety of your own good and marriage, please do not let him move back to your house as you wouldn't know what will happen in future.
Discuss firmly with your husband and if he decided to let his brother moves in, then you give 2 options for your husband to choose either (a) you move out from the house and stay with your parent ; (b) He find a rent room at outside for his brother.
2006-07-20 15:57:39 · answer #9 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by telling your husband. He is doing the wrong thing by in essence placing his brother before your safety. What you need to do is go to court and get a restraining order against the man. If your husband wants to spend time with his brother, he can do it somewhere other than in your home. Your safety is too important, and should be too important to him as well, for any other solution to be acceptable.
2006-07-20 15:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by songkaila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he forced himself on you, very bad. YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO THINK OF THE SAFETY OF HIS WIFE AND NEWBORN CHILD!!!!! You need to sit your husband down and tell him how you feel. If you don't then your brother-in-law will be able to move right back in. Its not your fault that his brother is a jerk. But if you let your fear of this ruining your marriage eat at you, and not tell your husband how you feel, then in the end it will ruin your marriage. COMMUNICATION its a wonderful thing, and if your husband loves you he will understand and not allow his brother to move back in with you.
2006-07-20 15:55:37 · answer #11 · answered by Rachel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋