but i told myself id wait till i was 18 and i dont know how cause it would by my first time and im 14 and i dont want to not satisfy her she was sexually abused (raped)by a 29 year old so i dont know if i can satisfy her
2006-07-20 15:02:23 · 16 answers · asked by alxjeffs 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
If there is sexual abuse in the picture I'd be very very cautious - not in terms of wanting to satisfy her, but because she is almost certainly a little mixed up in her feelings and attitudes about sex.
I say you should wait like you were going to (I did and am grateful I did), explain that it's your choice. If she doesn't accept that it's her problem - you aren't able to deal with her issues, you just don't have the qualifications for it.
If you are in love with her and care about her very deeply, then by all means help her get through this... but don't rush into sex, it won't help her.
2006-07-20 15:07:40 · answer #1 · answered by lazwatson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have made a very good decision not to have sex right now. Your girlfriend has some issues she may need to deal with... and having sex isn't going to help either. You should be most concerned with satisfying her desire for a young teenage boyfriend relationship - not her sex drive.
Stay firm in your decision and in a respectful manner, explain to your girlfriend why you have decided not to have sex with her. If she respects you, she will understand and she will not pressure you. If she doesn't then you know it's time to move on. Either way, you will be honest and you will feel confident about sticking to your own ideals. Good luck.
2006-07-20 15:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is having emotional problems right now, because of the abuse. Has she filed charges? I hope so. It will give her back her feelings of control.
Tell her you are sorry and think she is very attractive, but you aren't ready for sex yet. She feels unattractive now, and she wants reassurance. However, she also needs to know that not all men just want sex. Rape is about power, not sex. She needs to understand that.
2006-07-20 15:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one, I don't think her being raped by an older man was satisfying to her.
Do not try to compete with a forced form of sex, something women do not like, and something you do not have to compare yourself too.
She likes you, not the rapist, so do not let that bother you.
If you want to wait untill you are 18, then you are totally entitled to do that.
Just don't do it because you are trying to compare yourself to an older man who forced unwanted sex on her.
2006-07-20 15:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by two_skrus_luse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel your not ready, then don't let her force you. Its your decision too.
I do understand stand her feelings though. I have been ah, taken adventage of when i was falling down drunk, and I admit that afterwards, after i mentally dealt with it i felt a need to find someone whom I Wanted, and to have sex when I wanted it to feel like i was completely over it, so i didnt hafta say that the last time i was with a guy was when drank so much I couldnt walk, n my friends boyfriend invited me to his place to sober up a bit before driving home.
forteen is very young. i wouldnt worry about the issue of pleaseing her, thats something the two of you learn as you go, how to please each otherm its the joy of exploring each other.
i dont know about setting an actault date/age, but you shouldnt do it before you feel ready. you'll know when, and 14 is very young. i didnt lose mine till 18, and thats considered 'loose' compared to many of my friends who were in their 20's when they lost theirs.
2006-07-20 15:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by Belial 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. You may enjoy it but are you ready to be Daddy if something goes wrong. Nothing if foolproof when it comes to contraceptive, as I'm sure you are sick of hearing. Play it safe man wait till your married. The single parent / STD thing is a pain in the butt.
2006-07-20 15:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best option is wait untill you are married, that's the way it was meant to be. Look at nature. There are a LOT of animals that only have one partner for LIFE. Be smart. Don't make little 'uns until you can support them properly.
2006-07-20 15:58:32 · answer #7 · answered by The Angel of Spam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's the real reason for your holding back on having sex with your gf? it is because you are just 14, or because you are scared of your sexual inexperience and performance anxiety, or because your gf was raped by an older guy and thus, she is not as pure and innocent as you are? it seems to me that you are as conflicted and hang-up as your gf when it comes to sex. what you can do is to clearify your reason for saying no to sex and stick to it. good luck. cheers!
2006-07-20 15:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
fck her or she will leave u and find some one else
No matter if u r less than 18 yrs
i fcked a girl when i was just 15 yrs old ,She was my girl friend ,I called her at my home ,I closed the door and i press her boobs she understand all the things ,,,,,But Remember to Use CONDOM
2006-07-21 01:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by kane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want your first time to be with someone that has that much baggage? In the end, you know it won't work out, so why put yourself and her through it?
2006-07-20 15:10:19 · answer #10 · answered by coastmunky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋