my hubby and i have been married 5 1/2 years. i took him to court for domestic violence and now he is starting to see the err of his ways in the process though he is basically telling me that he is not ready for marriage, and we are already married. He is making it seem like he wants to be with me but now i am confused. its like i dont know how to be around him anymore, he i a different person, but is still refusing to give up alcohol. HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO??????????????????????????????????????????
2006-07-20 12:45:32 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call Dr. Laura and ask her.
2006-07-20 12:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by Chapin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't actually see a question here, what you should do is obvious YOU SHOULD LEAVE, he is an abusive alcohol drinker if not alcoholic who has told you straight up he doesn't want to be married so i fail to see what you couldn possibly be confused about. if you like getting beat up join a boxing club, at least then it stops when the bell rings and you don't have to do it if you don't feel like it that day. guys like this don't change just because you took them to court, being sorry is just a part of the game they play to keep you around so they have someone to beat up next week. put the cycle of violence in to any search engine and educate yourself, then you will know what you are really dealing with.
2006-07-20 12:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, run very fast to the nearest exit....
Look, don't be a fool... You must have been exposed to the world a little bit to have heard about domestic violence when there are drugs and alcohol involved. Don't think for a minute that your life with this guy is going to improve, IT WILL NOT!!
Alcoholics live for the booze, fight for the booze, die for the booze and there is NOTHING THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE THEM EXCEPT THEMSELVES...
Shelters are full to the brim with women and children who heard the "I am sorry, I won't do it again" schpeel, probably 10-15 times before they finally got tired of the beatings and got out.
He is ABSOLUTLEY CORRECT, he is not ready for marriage, or for any mature adult responsiblity. For your own saftey and self worth, let him go.... Fast, Far, and NOW.
It may help him, hurt him, or not, but it will certainly bring you down with him if you try to hang onto this marriage. File for divorce, and make a life for yourself that you can be proud of, be safe in and feel like you are deserving of something better. If someday he comes around, sober, will who knows, but for now this is a demon that you will not be able to beat.
Don't wait until you are in such a desparate situation that getting out can't happen, like serious injury, or yes, death...
Just read the papers about women who remain with abusive alcoholics there is a story everyday about the outcome..
Go to your family if you have to, or friends, they will help you get on your way. let him go.....
Good luck ..
2006-07-20 19:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by jv1104 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-24 23:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by vaux 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is confused too and right now you need time apart and figure out what you both want and to get into counseling to see your marriage can saved.
You cannot a person change that does not want to change, all you can do is change your reactions to the behavior.
2006-07-20 12:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he's trying to tell you darlin...is that he wants to be able to drink...fight....lay around...play around....but he doesnt want to lose you as his back up booty call incase his other girlfriend is busy..
He just doesnt think that he should be married because then you would yell at him for just trying to live his life.
Lose the loser and move on!!
2006-07-20 12:50:01 · answer #6 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never stay with anyone who abuses you, no matter what. Whether they change or not, do not stay, it will happen again, worse than the first time, and possibly at an unexpected moment when he can no longer control himself.
2006-07-20 13:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is telling you is that he is not ready for all the RESPONSIBILITIES that goes along with being married.
He still wants to go out with the boys, have fun, enjoy his life as a "BACHELOR"
2006-07-20 12:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by Azil-em 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS UP TO YOU, IF HE HASN'T TOLD YOU THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE AROUND THEN YOU NEED TO ASK, HIM MOST OF THE TIME WHEN THERE IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ITS BEST TO GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP, UNLESS HES WILLING TO GET HELP, IF IT KEEPS ON GET OUT.
2006-07-20 12:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by maniac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't say I know what you should do but smells like he intrested in others to me.
2006-07-20 12:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by Malaikablu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋