Why do I feel so guilty?

Question

I was in work today and went to the loo to wash my hands and i found a dead body. A young man, early 20's was dead on the floor. He had no pulse, I tried to give him CPR, but nothing helped, he was already too far gone for help. The paramedics and police arrived, CID came, finally after 4 hours the coroner came and took the body, but I have been shaking since, and I am feeling guilty like I could have done more, but know i couldnt as he was already dead when i found him. He had overdosed, there was a needle by his hand.

I cant stop thinking how his parents must feel, knowing their son was found in a toilet dead. I cant stop this overwhelming feelg of guilt, what if i had gone to the loo sooner, could I have helped him, what if I didnt do CPR right and he actually could have been saved but I messed up?

I feel sad that such a young life has ben wasted, but my sadness is nothing compared to the guilt I feel. How should I deal with this, Im in absolute torment.

thanks.

I cant chose a best answer as so many were similar - thank to all of you who showed such support and understanding, big raspberries to the others!!

Thanks xxxx

Answer 1

You did more than most people would even attempt to do. As a emergency room doctor I can tell you that when a patient has no pulse we save fewer than 10 in a 100 even when we have all the equipment and medications at hand.

Don't feel guilty. You have every right to feel good about yourself as a caring human being.

Answer 2

I don't know why you feel gulity, you didn't sell him the drugs, you didn't inject the drugs into his body, you did the exact opposite and tried to save him, a lot of people wouldn't have even done that, infact there were probably a few people who saw him before you and just didn't want to get involved. You did the good christian thing, you're probably just still a little shocked, I mean its not every day you come across a dead body. The only people who should feel guilty are the pushers and the dealers that gave this man his drug problem, yet they won't care less, the only thing they will be bothered about is that they have one less customer. Have a warm drink of milk and take a sleeping tablet, you need a good rest after such a disturbing day. If this event is still bothering you and you can't sleep, then do as one of the previous ladies said and talk to the samaritans.

Answer 3

You will always feel sad when u see the end of a life for a youth. because u can feel what he is going to miss out on, the fun he could have had.. u feel sad that he's so young and ure probably in denial, u think that life ends at old age, and u have your whole life to live when ure young..

You feel guilty cos u felt that u could have done more, maybe jus a few more sets of CPR could have revived him? maybe if u had done it for 1 more minute? or 30 more seconds? he could have been alive.. but i think u know this, his life doesnt lie on your hands, you are not God, you do not decide whether he lives or dies. Be comforted in the fact that u actually did try to help him, u succeed where most people fail. Anyone who sees a dead person in a public toilet with a needle in his hands would not even touch him with their feet. Mourn for his young life if u must, but at the same time, celebrate yours, cos u have a long way to go..

cheer up.. :)

Answer 4

Oh you poor thing, you are probably still suffering from shock and who wouldnt be after that! it wont matter what i tell you about not feeling guilty as that is just part of the process, you know deep down you did all you could but you have to go through all these different emotions as a way of dealing with what happened. I suggest you speak to someone about how you feel, what you saw etc. Does your work not have a counsellor you could talk to, or maybe even just a friend or family member to work through it with you? The guilt will pass and probably be followed by a different emotion. You are not to blame you know this already, dont manage this alone you have suffered a traumatic event and need support. Try ringing the Samaritans, 08457 90 90 90 they are fantastic and will offer emotional support if there is no one else to talk to right now. I will be thinking of you xx

Answer 5

That is pretty shocking and I do feel for you. But the truth is you must not blame yourself, you did what you could, which I dare say is more than what a lot of people could or would have done. You showed a lot of courage and bravery by trying to help, when a lot of us probably wouldn't even know how to or where to begin. And whatever way you do look at it, you did a good thing, and there was nothing you or even the paramedics could have done. The overdose had taken its effect quite instantly.

God bless you for your act of kindess, and your reward should be the knowledge that you tried in a situation where the outcome could not be overturned. And it is to this end, that you must find the strength to go on, knowing what you did was selfless and was an act of pure kindess.

Please do speak to therapists through a doctor, or to the Samaritans, as others here have suggested. But do lay to rest the feelings guilt and that you were at fault. For your act you deserve and owe it to yourself to go on and be even stronger, which is what we all want for you here, I'm sure.

Answer 6

You should not feel guilty at all about this! You tried your best to help and should be proud of yourself for doing such a selfless act. It is NOT your fault. You could not have done anything else. Please do not feel badly about it! If you need more help, don't hesitate to talk to a family member or a therapist about your feelings. Just remember that you did a good thing and that you had nothing to do with the young man's death. I hope that you will get through this all right. God bless you. You'll be in my prayers.

Answer 7

my dear, u have had a massive shock and been through a terrible ordeal. the guy obviously wanted to end it, even if u had gone to the toilet earlier, he would have just waited till u left and done it, there was absolutely nothing u could have done yet u still tried. well done.
u are bound to be feeling all sorts of feelings now, its normal, but guilt is a terrible feeling and believe me, u have nothing to be guilty for. u will go through a whole range of emotions and terrible feelings after this. please dear, seek councelling or therapy to help u come to terms with this. u need to talk to a proffesional.
contact your doctor and see if he can get u counselling. while u are waiting for that, try speaking to the following:

Day by Day Helpline 0870 167 1677
Email: [e-mail]
General Email: [e-mail]


Disaster Aftercare Services
@Catalyst Counselling by visiting appointment
88 Kent Road
Swindon
SN11 0QP

Post to:- post as above

Tel: [phone]


Victim Supportline
Contact us
Call 0845 30 30 900

please seek help. good luck dear.

Answer 8

I know how you feel Lozzie. I felt like that after Hillsborough. We were at the back and being held back by the police and dogs, but I still felt so guilty, for a very long time afterwards, that I hadn't done anything to help.
If you can, talk it through with someone and get all the feelings out. There were probably lots of people who could have helped this person to live - by stopping him before he got to the state he was in - but you weren't one of them. In fact you gave first aid - more than most people would have done - and summoned help. You did everything you could.
You are shaking because you're in shock. Stay warm, try to get lots of rest and look after yourself properly. Talk to someone though. It might take a while to get all the feelings out.
You did everything you could. It's not your fault he died.

Answer 9

Oh God - take no notice of certain contributors on here.

What a dreadful thing to have happened.

Quite simply, you're probably in shock - and will be for some time to come. Once the horror has subsided a bit, you'll see that you were in no way to blame for what happened to this young man.

At least you tried to help him - it's more than some people would have done.

Speak to the Samaritans - they'll help get things into perspective for you. And good luck.

Answer 10

What a horrible thing to happen you are not guilty you did your best ,you didn't know the man and yet you tried your best some people wouldn't have even tried cpr .
you are probably in a bit of shock and anyone finding a person like that is going to be in some sort of shock .
You probably couldn't have helped him if you went in sooner most overdoses are instant and plus he wouldn't have been injecting himself if anyone else came in.
See how you are tomorrow and maybe see your doctor and chat with him .
All the best just try getting some sleep XX