too young to have a baby?

Question

I really want to have a baby but i'm only 19 and my boyfriend of 8 months doesnt think that he is mature enough to handle have a child. For some reason, in these last couple of weeks I've realized that I dont want to miss out of anything. I really do want a baby, and I think that I am a strong enough person to have a baby and contiune to go to college. What should I do about the boyfriend, I feel like we want two different things, and that we are not a the same points in our lives.

Answer 1

Oh honey!!! To know what I know now from where I sit today! I was you at age 19, although I didn't do the intentional wanting or planning like you are doing. First things first. Tradition and practicality exist for good reason. Your maturity and strength should provide above all the patience and wisdom to assure you that you can wait. Listen to your boyfriend. The point you are at (no offense) is young, uneducated and unmarried. Your hopes promise you an education and ... is marriage even a factor for you? I was a single mom for 12 1/2 years. I fell in love with my daughter's father at age 19. He and I became parents 2 and a half years later. Then everything went downhill. I wish I could talk to you on the telephone. I am now married to a wonderful man who is a good stepdad and the in-between things I experienced would blow your mind, sit you down and make you reconsider.
My daughter is a blessing! I was a sophomore in college when I got pregnant with her. You will not miss out on anything by waiting for marriage and that degree. You're putting unnecessary obstacles up to the detriment of yourself and an unborn child who God will bring in His timing. Please wait. Again, if you could would want to contact me, I'd love to give you my story. Good things come to those who wait. Bless you.

Answer 2

Why don't u wait until you are a little older or at least until u are married. Don't plan a baby before u are married. I am 21 years old. I was pregnant at 19 and had my baby at 20. True enough I love my baby to death and I would not change it for the world, but it would have been a whole lot better if I had waited. I am currently not in school because I had to wait to get a steady job with a set schedule. Now that I have that, I can not go to school full time because I have to work full time and take care of a baby. I can take a class or 2. There is no more "It's all about me" because its not. Everything that you do is done for the little one. I say stick with the school and finish. Let your husband find you. Then when you 2 are settled, sit down and plan on being parents.
P.S. If u think having a baby will keep him around, think twice. Although my baby's dad is still here, there are plenty of people who has to do it alone.

Answer 3

I had my first baby at the age of 17, my second at the age 19 and my third at 21. While I love my children dearly and would never, ever change my past, I feel like I've missed out on so many things. I look back and wish that I could have gone to college and learned about who I am as an individual before trying to figure out how to be a great mom and wife and woman all at the same time. I'm 30 years old now, pregnant with my fourth child, on my second marriage, and happier than ever. The difference in my pregnancy now and my pregnancy then is amazing to me - things mean so much more now, and I'm such a better parent now that I've lived some of my life and learned from some of my mistakes.

I can say from the bottom of my heart that it is worth the wait. Don't rush into your life, allow things to happen naturally, and enjoy being young and independent. You'll look back and be thankful that you waited, I promise. You will never look back and say "I wish I would have had a baby at 19", but you may look back and say "I wish I would have waited." You'll know when it is the right time, and when you are with the right person. It will work out if you let it. Life is funny that way. :-)

Answer 4

I wouldn't say that you're too young, but I would definitely suggest getting married before you start a family. I got married at your age to a guy I had dated all through high school and for over a year after graduation. 8 months is not a very long relationship. And now I'm going to have a baby at 21. (the pregnancy was an accident, but I'm still excited) I can't even imagine going through this without a husband! Not only do both of you have to be mature enough, but your RELATIONSHIP has to be mature enough to handle the pressures of having a child. Wait until you find the man you're going to spend the rest of your life with and then start think about a family.

Answer 5

I think that you need to respect your boyfriend's opinion about his own maturity level. One must be extremely mature to be able to handle the coming and arrival of a new life. One that completely depends on you for everything. Now I knew I'd have kids early, I did in fact get pregnant when I was 19 but I was just about to turn 20 and I have always been more mature than other people for my age. Men mature less quickly then women do as well so you must take that into consideration. You will need him by your side the whole way through this huge commitment. Wait a year or two I believe and then see if he thinks he is ready for a child. You won't miss out on anything if you wait a while longer. It'll all just happen at a later date.

Answer 6

If he says he's not mature enough then I am sure he isnt. If you are already having a debate, imagine what it would be like if you do have a baby with him. Do you have enough money for childcare while you are in college? If you dont have the support of the father then it will be twice as difficult. I used to think the same thing when I was your age because I had just got married but I am so glad we waited. I had my baby when I was 24 and let me tell you how emtionally and financially hard it really is! If you are smart you will finish college, enjoy being young, and wait until you can find someone who is mature and responsible enough to have a child.

Answer 7

I will tell you from experience I wanted a baby more then anything and tried a long time I did not have one until I was 24 and now have 2 children I love more then life but knowing what I know now I am glad I waited

at your age you are just staring on life enjoy going out and just being free for a while go traveling

I always that I could do it with my kids and you can but it is not the same as before

just walking out the door without tieing shoes or making sure you have everything is a lot of work

You will have a baby enjoy the time you have before as much as you will when the time is right

Answer 8

What you should do, is volunteer to babysit for a friend for an entire week, 24 hours a day, 7 days. Babies are an 18 year committment, and I have NO idea how you can go to college and raise a baby at the same time - you'd have to farm the baby out to someone else to raise while you were in college.

Also, babies are EXPENSIVE!!! I suppose you have a trust fund or something to pay for daycare and health insurance for the baby, along with college tuition? Be prepared to miss LOTS of classes, as babies get sick. OH, and new babies get up about every two hours around the clock to eat, so be prepared to give up sleeping for about six months.

And ditch the boyfriend, as "you want two different things, and you aren't at the same points in your life".

Answer 9

Well that is your anwer right there, You said your boyfriend admits to you that he is too imature to be a fater right now. I am just afraid for you if you get pregnant and he may turn around and get scared and leave you. Then you will be raising a child all by yourself.

I believe you should go and finish college and then think about having a baby. You are soo young and you have soo many years to have children and lots of them.

I just would be very careful If i were you and having a baby with this guy...cause like I said...he alredy answered your question on what type of Dad he will be! And you don't want that...Do you??? not for you nor your child???

Answer 10

You are too dumb for words. Definitely do not have a baby.

Your life will be ruined and really who cares about you, but you will be ruining your innocent child's life too. 50% of all committed married relationships end up in divorce. More than that separate when not married. Kids do the best overall when attended by two loving parents.

The only thing that will last is two people with shared goals and mutual respect. If you don't have that with your man you don't have a mature relationship. Do not subject your child to your difference in life style or time or maturity! He can leave, you have a child for life.

Revisited: My gosh I was too harsh. The sentiments are true, but I didn't need to say it that way. Look for the light and do what is right. Care about the child more than your self. Find a soul mate and be one with the universe in goodness and harmony.