Is it just me or...?

Question

Does "gay community" sound like an oxymoron? Through my experiences with the gay community (as a 19 year old gay man myself), there isn't much of a community... at all. I feel like there's a lack of support and no one is too concerned with helping one another.

Btw, I live in Los Angeles. But originally from Oklahoma City, and BOTH places seemed to lack a sense of community.

In response to emptiedfull, I think you hit the target on what I was talking about. I want us to be able to embrace one another in our fight for equality, I want to see people outraged for the way the government officials toss gay issues around for their own political advancement. Seems like all I see are a bunch of horndogs out to get laid. I wish there were more depth, diversity and character in a community than can come together, rather than form it's own stereotypical "cliques."

Ok, haha, response to guaposf: I actually spent 4 years as a teenager volunteering as a leader for a gay youth group. And I've helped a lot with a friend who works for an AIDS organization. So I've been doing my part.

But it seems the youth group was more concerned about hooking up with one another, and many HIV victims were out looking for money and not doing their part in order to receive it. Of course this isn't everybody, I'm not making a generalization, but I've seen more of it than I'd like to...

Answer 1

you're so on to something here. you sound like you come into the 'gay community' with the expectation that we all might unite as a group in order to fight the prejudice and the bigotry. to some degree that's true but in another sense we are just the like hets who have long history of struggling with each other for the self esteem that seems come from have a 'trophy wife'. there is a lot of scholarship out on the subject of oppressed group behaviors. it's sad how often members of an oppressed minority turn against each other for their own personal and social avancement when we all have the common conservative majority foe always on our doorstep. it's a 'can't see the forest for the trees' kinda problem. i will say that it's an opportunity for the leaders in our community to keep our eyes on the real prize, which is dignity and equality, while leaving the 'hot boys' in the room to their own party. short term or long term strategies, each of us come differently prepared for such challenges... if you want to answer back, what aspects of 'community' do wish we more prevalent?

Answer 2

A community is YOU. I used to live in Long Beach and there is a very large and vibrant community of gay people there. After all, Long Beach hosts one of the largest Pride celebrations in the country! Long Beach almost elected an openly gay mayor! It has a huge gay swimming team (the Grunions) and a gay running group (the Front Runners).

But the point is, YOU need to get out and find a community (or create one!) It doesn't help to sit around a whine about it. Get off your *** and volunteer with an AIDS organization, a hotline, or a gay youth group. Do your research. LA/Long Beach has an active and exciting gay community. So there~~ (one hand on my hip, the other one snapping)

Answer 3

If you want to find community, you need to do community things: Join the Gay Men's Chorus; go to Metropolitan Community Church, a gay synagogue or a buddhist chanting group; volunteer at a GLBTQ health center; join a square-dancing group, book club or bridge club, or hiking/outdoor group; help in hosting a film festival; etc. Every social group (GLBTQ or straight) populated by young single people is going to have some "hooking up," but when we come together for some other purpose, gay people can have a sense of connection beyond sexual orientation.

Answer 4

You are obviously living in the wrong city-there is a strong, politically active community in SF, but it all depends on what you are looking for within a community, social, political, entertainment, etc. There is a strong support group for gay youth and LGBT in a whole. There is a strong community for HIV+ issues and for HIV prevention. If you feel in your area in which you reside that you are lacking in the community dpt, develop a group or weekly get together to discuss issues that effect you and other gays in your area...create that community as it may not be readily available.

Answer 5

That's unfortunate. The area that I live in does actually have a pretty supportive gay community. Maybe you should just try to find other people. I was out last night and made some new friends, and got my kids job back for him, his boss is gay and as soon as he found out that I was gay, he offered to give him his job back the very next day. On the other hand I live in a pretty back woods, republican state that is very UNsupportive of it's gay community so we have to stick together and take care of eachother. Hopefully you can meet some Cooler people! Good luck.

Answer 6

I never really thought of it as a community, since most of my friends are of different genders and sexualities and all that.

I'm sure there are better place swhere the community part is more active though.

Answer 7

varies by city. Some cities have areas where all gay community hange out, like SF

Answer 8

i definately agree with what you said. I'm from a town about 2 hours south of sydney, australia, and there is definately a lack of a "gay community"

Answer 9

Well your obviously meeting the wrong people. Google The Castro in San Fransisco.

Answer 10

You need to seek community. Try a gay affirming church or synagogue, a volunteer group, etc.