At 15years old, I fell in love and he fell in love with me. We were both shy, but only of each other. He advanced to other girls and I chose to wait, but to no avail. Life started to pass me by and I ended up with "whoever". Now, we've found each other 34 years later. He's married since 1998. I'm widowed since 2003. Does these relationships ever work out. I never dreamed of being with a married man, but this one I loved before he was married. He loves me back, but of course I don't know how strong his love is for me or if he loves me more than he loves his wife. I'm searching for any kind of answers I can get to help my stomach stop churning.
2006-07-20 11:20:56 · 34 answers · asked by lovekilwill 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Adultery is never pleasant. Affairs are never have fairy-tale endings.
2006-07-20 11:22:46 · answer #1 · answered by ginandvodka 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What are you doing?? Nobody should ever be with a married person how would you of felt if your ex-husband cheated on you it wouldn't feel nice would it face it huh your the other lady and you need to make a clean break before this thing gets out of hands if he really loved you he would of never have started anything with you knowing that he could not give you his all the fate is he never married you he married his wife a lady he loves a lady that hes still married to and made promises to her in front of everyone and God how could any decent human mess something like that up so if you want to make your stomach stop churning then end this thing you have going on with this family man RIGHT NOW!!!
2006-07-20 11:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by LoSt84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you think about it.. He is married so there is no good coming with the situation that you put yourself in. It don't make any differece if he says he loves you as long as he is still with his wife.
He left you when you were younger to go with other girls and now he has a wife. why would you still put yourself into that situation. That isn't love on his part. that is just passifying some inner thing or the sex part
don't put yourself through this .. it isn't worth all of the pain and suffering.. find yourself a single companion.. you don't have to marry him just to have someone to spend some quality time with.. be happy .. Life is to darn short to waste on a married man that will most likely just use you..
wishing you all kinds of luck
2006-07-20 11:30:10 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much does he love U? enough 2 B w/u exclusively or to carry on a relationship while he's married. If its the latter, then you'll b sharing him and not having him all 2 urself. your choice 2 carry on the relationship or not. what if you were married and ur man was loving someone else would you like that. do one 2 others as you'd have done 2 urself:Lot's of other dogs and cats out there in the animal kingdom
2006-07-20 11:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by MOGLE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No these realtionships don't work out, in fact the statistics on relationships that start in adultery are dismal at best. Also, what do you really get? A guy that you know is capable of lying and cheating....when will it be your turn to be the one that is cheated on? And who do you become then? You screwed up by waiting for 'him' in the first place and never really moving forward yourself, that was your mistake and your foolishness, no reason his wife should pay the price for that. I guess you just have to decide what kind of person you want to be.
2006-07-20 11:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most men do not leave there wives, unless they are truly unhappy and sure of the change, no matter how it goes.Therefor, most men love there wives and feel real secure, to ever give that up. an affair is not the best way to go,because in the end you both may lose.meaning you can get angry and cause problems for him that will intern, leave you out in the cold /with hurt feelings.Most men also, will feel hate for the women who got in between them, even with his consenting to an affair. I don't recommend it. I'm not you and can't say what will happen. You will have to choose.
2006-07-20 11:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your husband's death. Yes, you had love at one time, but this man is married. How would you feel if some woman came into your husband's life and he left you for her? That would just be cruel and you, for sure, would be hurt, confused, amongst many other emotions. And does he have children? This would not only hurt his wife, but his children. It's time to move on and stay away from a married man. I sincerely plead with you for the sake of their marriage. If you truly love him, then you won't interfere.
2006-07-20 11:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't mess with fire, cause it always burns. If he is married, let him stay that way. Move on. (Maybe) your stomach churning is your conscience's way of getting your attention. Would you want someone else's old love coming back into the picture interferring? The feelings you have are based on, what, 34 years ago? Fate only works if you both are in the position to create it/act on it. Not force it (make someone divorce) . Fate doesn't cause hurt, for you, for him, for his family, that is just called plain old bad timing. Move on. (just my $.02)
2006-07-20 11:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by not at home 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No woman should be chasing a married man. If he leaves his wife for you, then will it be OK for another woman to chase after him? If not, then why the double standard? It never ceases to amaze me how many women love married men.... there are plenty of single men out there. Let his poor wife try to make a good marriage, and stop being a home wrecker.
2006-07-20 11:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by Regularguy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem only you can answer. Take your time to think about all the problems this may cause other people involved. If you think you can make this work between the two of you, you can try. But if you think of the people you will be hurting, ask yourself....is it worth it. Is he happily married? Is she good to him? Does he love her ? If he is happy with her, maybe you should step back and see what progresses.
2006-07-20 11:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by rj42football 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are widowed doesn't mean you have the right to come into his life and try to break his marriage up. You should have some respect for the vows he took with his wife.
The odds are that he isn't going to leave his wife/family for you. You can talk to him but I certainly don't advocate you asking him to leave his wife for you. If he loved you more than he loved his wife he wouldn't be with her, he would be with you. Don't hold your breath with this one, do yourself a favor and cut it off now and move on to someone who you can have a real relationship with.
2006-07-20 11:25:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋