what is wrong with my husband.?

Question

He introduced me to yahoo answers. well i logged in under his pass word and read some of the questions he asked. all were disturbing to me. "how do i get oral from my wife","what turns a girl on." Do girls like it rough or slow" what am i sapose to think. If its me he wants, then why doesnt he ask me. why are the oppinons of other girls important to him if its me he wants. this hurts and it makes me very mad.

Answer 1

nothing wrong with him... apparently you're cold as a fish in the sack and he is trying to find out how to warm you up... get the man a microwave

Answer 2

Maybe he feels afraid or embarassed to ask you these things, or is worried what you might think of him if he did? It sounds like the two of you are having communication issues -- big problem. Being mad at him is going to make this worse, not better: if you want the realtionship to work, you need to be open and accepting and the two of you need to work out how to communicate, especially about what each of you want and like in bed. Why don't you print out a list of his questions, take it to bed, and answer each one for him, with demonstrations where appropriate?

Also, has it occured to you that when he introduced you to Yahoo Answers, he might have deliberately arranged it so you would be able to read and answer his questions? Maybe this was meant as a roundabout way of asking things he doesn't have the nerve to ask you face to face?

Answer 3

Based on the questions you said he asked it just seems as if he really just wants to know how to have better sex with you. This yahoo answers site is good for people like him, because he can ask questions freely and candidly and it's more or less anonymous. He may not ask you himself because it's hard for a lot of guys to ask their wives or girlfriends questions like that. He may be hoping to make the sex better without you knowing that he had a problem at all. You shouldn't be so mad at him if all he was concerned about was making sex with you more enjoyable, but you'll defiantely have to talk to him. You may need to be as blunt and candid as possible with him and tell him what you're willing to do and not do. He may either have to live without oral or leave the marriage if he wants it so bad he'll do ANYTHING to get it. I'm not married yet, but I've talked to many in your situation. I like getting oral and giving anal myself, but my fiancee is horrified by the thought. I know already that if I want to be with her then I'll have to give up all future thoughts of ever doing those things again, but she's a great woman and I believe that she's worth it. I hope your husband thinks you're worth it to.

Answer 4

Well,
Men are what you would call closet freaks. I don't think that your husband is thinking of cheating or possibly trying to find a catch. He is probably trying to explore your ( both ) your inner needs with each other. He is probably prudent to ask you because maybe he thinks you will find his idea's disgusting. Try this, pick up an adult (theme) movie after hours around midnight. Then pour each other a glass of wine or two and then tell him you want to role play. Try and fulfill his needs and at the same time take this opportunity to have him fulfill yours. Possibly in doing this he may never ask that sort of question again. Try and spice it up every now and then and express each others fantasies..

Answer 5

First, stop getting angry and start thinking clearly. Your husband doesn't think you're inadequate. He thinks that he is. Men get a huge amount of their sense of self-esteem from sex. He doesn't know how, or is afraid, to talk to you about it. He doesn't know what you enjoy, or how to be exciting. He doesn't know how to suggest innovation, or inspire passion. You are important to him, the women here aren't. So he isn't threatened by them or their reaction. (Your knee-jerk reaction is hurt and anger. No wonder he's afraid to talk honestly with you.) At least here he can get some information, try to reduce his ignorance... try to understand how to relate to women in general so that he can relate better to you.
Talking to you reinforces his sense of inadequacy. Your reaction makes it worse. You have every intention of punishing him, just for what he's done here, don't you? So he avoids a direct confrontation. He talks to others because you make it impossible for him to talk to you. Why do you think he introduced you to Answers? He was hoping you'd read his questions and understand his needs better. He was hoping you'd see this as a cry for help.
Your husband is down. He's hurting. He's wounded. And he doesn't know how to ask you for help, nor does he trust that you would give it if he did. He's trying, in a very inept way, to solve what he feels is a deep inadequacy on his part, and your deep dissatisfaction with him.
Punish him for this, and you will drive him away beyond the point of his ever returning. Instead of seeking answers to heal his relationship with you, he will seek to boost his self esteem by finding comfort in the arms of another, just to stop the pain.
If you love this guy, help him. With open arms and an understanding heart. Be selfish; pout, feel "hurt" and be angry towards him, and you deserve to lose him.

Answer 6

I think you are making to much out of this. Why were you checking his questions don't you trust him. It sounds like you have issues. I would say he was trying to find out ways that might please you. It's not like he was asking for a date. If you are this upset about his questions than maybe you should do the grown up thing and talk to the man. You are asking why doesn't he talk to you it is a two way street. Communication and trust is the key to a long lasting relationship. In the future if you do not wish to know what is on his mind do not snoop.

Answer 7

He's not having sex banter with other women. He's asking questions about what women like. He's probably trying to figure out what things he can try with you that you'll like.

Make this into a positive situation. Tell him you saw his questions and if there's something he'd like to try, you want to hear about it. If you like it, you just might do it. After you two have experimented a bit, tell him you were a little hurt that he didn't come to you first.

BTW, if he was thought he was doing wrong, he wouldn't have given you his password. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 8

well sweetie, many men think women are all the same just as many women think that of men. It sounds as though he is tryin to find ways to spice up your love life. If you are concerned enough to be checking out what questions he is askin rather than askin him himself and he is asking questions without askin u his self than it sounds like you both need to communicate more together.
Sit down together and talk about things you like as well as things he likes. Sometimes people do things to open a communication up instead of just asking. Maybe this is his way of getting the conversation started. Talk to your hubby.

Answer 9

Apparently he's not comfortable communicating with you about those things...talk to him about it...that's the best way to find out why he did it, because we don't know him so can only guess...

If you're worried about him being upset you logged in under his account, then apparently you've got something to answer for too...

Communicate with each other! Too many relationships are ruined due to lack of that very thing...

Answer 10

I think yo can do one of two things. One you ca forget about what you have read and go on. Or two you ca talk to him calmly ad say why did you ask other people's opinions on what to do with me. He is a guy what do you expect, he was probably just trying not to be embarrassed by asking you! Hope you like my advice!

Answer 11

do you take this yahoo answers thing seriously its just a pathetic joke and a funny way to pass the time,have a good look and see some of the pathetic questions people ask just laugh woman