out of control TEEN?

Question

My daughter is a teen and is way out of control in all areas possible, and now she as admitted to me in having oral sex...what and how do i discourage her out of it all, she is way to young to start any sex. My husband and I are very much discouraged by her attitude, lying, and talking back and she loves to underdress herself, no respect at all for her body...please help

Answer 1

tell her the consequences of having sex and becoming pregnant, std, and AIDS..Start researching things on the net and show her...show her what herpies are...its not a pretty site.

Answer 2

Unfortunately there may not be much for you to do. She is either searching for attention and affection from guys in all the wrong places, or valuing what others want and expect over anything else, including her own thoughts. Maybe you can find girl that is a few years older who's parents you know, a girl that is young and pretty and well-liked, but also doesn't let others influence her. Usually teens see adults as being out of touch and not understanding, but that's just protective nature and wanting good things for our kids. You could also find an older guy, maybe a cousin or friend of the family that would sit down and talk with you and her...to explain how guys work...that having sex of any form won't make a guy be with her, the chances of STD's and pregnancy, and get him to talk about the things that really get a guys attention beyond physical. Something else that may seem bad, try to talk with people and find somebody that is young and talks with teens about sex and the darker side of it...plenty of them do this after cotracting ad STD or ending up a teen parent. Everybody likes to think that it won't happen to them, but showing them somebody that said that and suffered may help it sink in that those are just words, not protection. You have to teach her and gently help her to understand that getting a guy by what you look like gets you a few dates and heartbreak, but getting a guy because he loves being around a person like you buys you a true relationship. The best thing I can say is don't push too hard, you want to help and encourage her, but pushing will push her right away from you.

Answer 3

Look there may be a problem under all this. I bet she wasn't always this way. Something had to happen to cause such a change in her. I suggest you have a serious talk with her when you both are calm just start with something casual. I suggest instead of yelling at her take a calm approach at the situation at hand. I know that it is hard and you might feel like you are t your wits end but don't give up on her. Get involve at school talk to her counselors make her teachers sign a paper stating she was at school stuff like that. Her counselors will be able to help you and give you more options. Let her know you love her even if she doesn't want to hear it

Answer 4

My sister is the same way. She is doing things like that with her boyfriend, she has a horrible attitude, and she likes to just flip out and beat people up. What helped with her was my dad sent her to counseling. She didn't want to go and she still doesn't but because of her age she has to. They put her on medicine that would calm her down. Her attitude has improved and she isn't beating people up anymore. Maybe you should try getting your daughter into counseling. If she is under 18 then she has to go and if anything at all they will probably give her medicine and it should help her attitude and talking back. Maybe talking with the counselor would also make her realize that her lying and dressing the way she does and bad behavior overall is bad and she might change. It is worth a try if you havn't done it already. I hope this helps you and good luck.

Answer 5

Well. That is really difficult because if she is going to be doing those things then it is really hard to get her to stop. I would try explaining to her why you dont want her to do it and tell her and show her the consequences... She might be trying to rebel against you and her father or your husband or she might have really low self esteem and feel that the only way that she can recieve love from a male is to use her body. I would say talk to her and convey how much you love her and how you always want the best for her and if she is active in church or a religious thing have the youth pastor of the youth person talk to her ... or maybe a teacher she trusts or someone ... someone who she respects but who isnt in the family sometimes that really helps to get through.
I hope things start going better for you.

Answer 6

I am now 31 and that used to be me as a teenager. I'm not sure what to tell you to do or how to handle it. I realized that it was getting me nowhere on my own and when I got pregnant at 16 but sometimes there is nothing you can do but just keep trying. Don't give up and don't ever act like you don't care anymore because that is the worst thing you can do. Talk till you can't talk anymore hug her and love her remind her everyday that she doesn't need that kind of attention that it isn't love and she will not get the love she is wanting from those kinds of guys. They will not respect her they will only return for more favors but not because they love her.!!!

Answer 7

This is something that probably started a long time ago. Sounds like yu and your husband have lost control of your daughter. You will have to just stay on her all the time, know where she is and who she is with 24-7. You are responsible for her. You might even send her to an all girl school or get her some counseling. Maybe military school. Good Luck!

Answer 8

For some unknown reason she is acting out in anyway she can think of! Theres something bothering her and hurting her INSIDE and she wants to be helped but doesnt quite know it!! I would take her to a counselor and try to get to the problems she is having! I have a 15 year old son and this is not part of puberty at all!!! She doesnt respect herse;f for some reason- she feels like she is worthless thats why it doesnt bother her to give herself away to others! Find the underlying problem and Things will begin to get better and she heals! Good luck

Answer 9

Show her how many young girls are getting pregnant these days. Make sure she knows that if she gets pregnant, she's keeping it. Most girls don't give a care anymore because they think either one of two things. 1. "It will never happen to me." 2. "I'll just have an abortion."
It's sad, but that's the way people are these days. You need to tell her that the only person she should be having sex with is her husband. If a boy/man isn't willing to marry her and spend the rest of his life with her then he isn't worth having sex with.

Answer 10

you're her mother, TAKE CONTROL. put her in private school with UNIFORMS. shop FOR her and buy acceptable clothing. lack of self respect, attitude, lying, talking back? enroll her into therapy. after the admission to oral sex... omg... i would barely let her leave my sight for a while. i'd be running a lock down program on her until she can make you trust her (therapy will help with this). you need to take control or she will make you and your spouse crazy.

my step-daughter is 14 and dresses to skimpy... AT HER MOTHER'S... her father and i won't allow her skin tight shirts with her boobs hanging out (she's very developed). we won't let her wear skirts that nearly show her panties (no lie, her mom lets her!) we have had her in therapy for about a year now, working on her self esteem. she lies, and plays one person against another... but she will come around. the only thing we haven't done was enroll her into private school (there are no sex related issues that we are dealing with). best of luck mom!

Answer 11

send her to boot camp. At least keep her at home until she's ready to act her age & show you more respect. Maybe spend more time with her. Even if you have to force her to go with you. You may both be miserable for a while, but my guess is she does these things because she's lacking in attention. These days both parents work, then after work they're way too busy trying to keep up with the house & such. Kids are just not getting the one on one they need. We try to make it up to them by buying them things (video games, cell phones, ect) & giving more freedom. Sometimes we just need to put our foot down. Say no. Then smother them with love. They'll act like they hate it but inside they love/need it & eventually they will come to appreciate it.