Black & White??

Question

I'm NOT talking ethnicity here. I'm talking... Do you think in black and white with no real gray area? I tend to think of everything as IT IS or IT ISN'T with no real in between. I'm beginning to realize that this isn't real effective a real effective way to live life :). How can I become comfortable living in the gray area?

Answer 1

There are personality factors that make some people more inclined to think in "yes or no" or "black & white" terms, and others more inclined to enjoy uncertainty and complexity.

Both are legitimate ways of thinking and feeling about things.

The important thing is you recognize that you can think in more "gray" terms. Again, depending on your personality and goals, you will naturally steer into one direction or another, or maybe in some issues you will be more B&W and in others you will be more flexible.

For example, scientists need to think in very Gray terms, avoiding B&W like the plague (you need to be open and flexible in order to come up with innovate ways of testing a theory and see if it still holds). Accountants, on the other hand might be confortable with certainty and unambiguousness.

If you think Black and White "isn't a real effective way to live life," I bet you're in the process of discovering that you enjoy more complex ways of thinking about things.

One way of practicing "living in the gray area" is to start thinking of how other people view the same issue, how does someone's background affect how they see life, for example. How did people think about particular issues 50 or 100 years ago?

Answer 2

I would think that unless you've got some sort of Obsessive-Compulise Disorder, you already think in gray areas, you just don't realize it.

For example, when toasting bread: Do you always make it exactly the same, throwing it away if it is not exact; or do you accept it a little bit darker or a little bit lighter each time? If you accept it a little darker or lighter, then you have made a gray decision.

Now, apply that to the rest of your life. Not everything can be gray, but a lot of stuff can.

For example: While walking down the street at night, you see someone with bolt cutters cutting off the lock on a fence. In Black or White terms, you confront them, or you don't. In Gray terms you evaluate the situation, perhaps noting the bolt cutters could be used as a club against you, and decide that just walking on by would be safer for you. After all, you can always call the police when you get to safety. Sure, some property might get stolen in the meantime, but you are still safe. It's a gray thing.

I'm guessing some of your concerns may be related to interactions with others, talking about things, perhaps getting into disagreements because for you, currently, IT IS or IT ISN'T.

Take some time to really *think* about a past situation. Perhaps it was about someone's clothes? Their haircut? A new policy at work? Was it *really* Black or White? Or is it possible it was Gray?

Don't knock yourself out over this, but take it one step at a time. Take an extra moment or two to think about a situation, then determine if it really *is* Black or White, or if perhaps there's just a touch of gray.

Best wishes!

Answer 3

Ahh the old black and white. Many people think like this. I don't think like this, I don't think colors too, I think gray. To become comfortable living in the gray area you first need some sort of rock hard base to place your knowledge/opinions on because if you aren't sure then why are you in the gray? which gray? You need to have something to base your facts on. For example...

Are cars fast now days or slow?
Most cars can reach around 120 mph, I'd say around 120 mph is average for a car.

OK, horrible example but that is the only one I could think of. You could try being more analytical.

OK, here I go, one of the best ways is to know what you can and can't know. You cannot be sure of everything. Are you sure the world will be throbbing with life 40,000 years from now?

So start out saying, no I'm not sure. Then think about it, and sense you already said "I'm not sure" you aren't going to say, "Yes, absolutley" or "no, not at all" It'll be more like, "Well considering archaebacteria can live in extreme environments and many other species evolve to adapt to their environments, and the sun has about another 5 billion years to go and it powers all life on earth, I'd say probably." It's the magical probably!

Answer 4

I think "IT IS" or "IT ISN'T" is the first question. Try using six Sigma 5 Why's methodology here in real-life to go down into the actual problem.

So here is the example:

1) You: Is the project on schedule?
YourTeamMember: No

You stop here. Continue ahead.

2) You: What is the reason for that?
YourTeamMember: User Acceptance Test took long time to complete.

3) You: Why is that?
YourTeamMember: Because the UAT environment was not ready in time from the infrastructure team.

4) You: Did we place the request in time for that?
YourTeamMember: Yes, we did but they have 1 person on vacation another is sick and on long leave so its shortage of manpower on their end.

5) You: Was this escalated?
YourTeamMember: Yes, via the our Project Manager but was told that there was no short term solution available at that time. Also, business agreed that a week's delay is acceptable as their client is not ready yet.

Well, this is totally cooked up example but gives you an idea that thought the project is actually complete and has been tested by team and user testing is also about to complete in a week. Where as a blunt "No" (The answer to the first question) does not convey anything.

Which is to say that "No" == 0% but further down the discussion it looks like its 90%.


Hope this helps.

Answer 5

I think you can become comfortable by realizing that there are many reasons why there is the gray area. Like for me, I too live very much in black and white but, I also realize that not everybody can do to that and I think that is because not everybody knows what they want , who they are, or have any idea of how they fit into this world. So makes it easier for me to be able to say maybe to a yes or no question because that gray area is allowed. This is just my opinion and I do not wish to push my beliefs on anyone but, this is my level of understanding and it works for me and I am open to anybody else's opinion.

Answer 6

Oh yes, there is definitely gray! Look at politics for example. Republicans and Democrats both think their ideas are the only correct ones. There are some issues I have conservative opinions on, some issues I have liberal opinions on, but most of my opinions don't fit either side. That's a gray area. I don't lean to the right.....I don't lean to the left......I'm right down the middle.
You can become comfortable living in the gray area by realizing you don't have to side with anybody other than yourself. And when the black/white people insist on beating you over the head with their views, don't hesitate to share your views with them.

Answer 7

I used to have polarized thinking as well (that's what it's called when you think in black and white terms) and then, well, I became a transsexual female to male, and I really DO live in the grey area every day of my life. I got to the point where I just started questioning everything in life. I don't accept things as being "right" or "wrong" easily. I prefer to come to my own conclusions about everything. I ask a lot of "what if's" in my life, and I'm an analytical thinker. I don't know if it's really something that can be taught or just something that has to come from within. I suggest thought that if you want to become more of a "grey" area thinker, pick up some philosophy books, especially Decartes. He's the one I believe who tried to answer the question of "how can I prove something exists" Reading philosophy is pretty mind expanding. It was for me anyway.

Answer 8

I honestly don't think everything in this world is either black or white. Everything we as human beings do or thinkis affected by so many factors and differs from the next person to us that there is no way we can say it is either one way or the other. we always fall in the gray area.

For example, if you see a friend wearing a horrible dress and he/she asks you "do i look nice?" you know that the person will be hurt if you say no so what do you do? if you say yes, you are telling a lie but sparing the person's feelings and if you say no, you are telling the truth but destroying another person's self esteem. so the qustion is "are you right or wrong with your decision?" this falls into the gray area because actually telling a lie might be the right thing to do.

another example is killing someone is is about to take your life. socirty says you must not kill and you just took another human being's life. so are you right or wrong? This also falls into that gray area that everyone defines for himself. the Lion doesn't consider it evil to hunt and kill gazelles. he is just following his nature and he is also hungry so he does not consider himself a bad person while from the gazelle's point of view, the lion is evil because the lion is hunting him to eat him.

Anyway, my point is life is not always in black or white. most times, it is in the gray area and everyone usually has to make the decision based on personal and moralistic value what is right in the greater scheme of thing. Another way to figure this out is to always put yourself in the other direction and turn the "mirror" on yourself and you will find that what is white to you may be black to the other person and consequently you both fall in the gray area and this happens 90% of the time.

so as a prof of mine used to say, "question everything",

Answer 9

Zebras are black or darkish animals with white stripes and their bellies have a huge white blotch for camouflage applications. some zebras have brown "shadow stripes" in between the white and black coloring. Zebras are defined as black with white stripes quite than the opposite for actual right here 3 causes: a million. White equids does no longer live on properly interior the African plains or forests. 2. The quagga, an extinct Plains zebra subspecies, had the zebra striping progression interior the front of the animal, yet had a depressing rump. 3. even as the area between the pigmented bands will develop into too huge, secondary stripes emerge, as if suppression changed into weakening. the very incontrovertible certainty that some zebras have organic white bellies and legs isn't very sturdy information for a white heritage, seeing that many animals of different colors have white or gentle colored bellies and legs.

Answer 10

Take with you the knowledge that you will be better equipped, (by realizing a gray area exists) to consider all sides of any issue and as a result evolving in to a more well rounded person and in my opinion a better one