that he wasn't able to keep an erection bcuz he had too many concerns regarding being a new father on his mind, would u believe him? He says it's bcuz he grew up w/out a father, and now he's worried about what kind of father he will be. This xcuse concerns me only bcuz I'm wondering y this would b going through his head EVERY time we have sex!!! It doesn't make sense! Could it be a lie?
2006-07-20 09:23:21 · 24 answers · asked by SADN W 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
why can't he be stressed? becoming a father is a HUGE thing for a man. providing for his family is his top priority. its not surprising that this would cause stress, AND a new baby usually does cause a lack of desire in men and woman.
i remember after my first child my husband used to lay awake in bed for HOURS worried about this or that.
he's just new to this and doesn't know where the heck to start planing.
just be there for him. i know its frustraiting but getting upset with him only adds to his worries and is NOT good for you either.
time will calm him down. Are you still pregnant....or is the baby here?
im sure because of his absent father, he is LOST as to how to be a dad. he didn't have anyone to watch, to learn from, to show him how to be a dad. he is winging it!
he needs your reasurance, and he needs time to get used to the idea.
my husband grew up with out his father, and as an only child. he was a wreck before the baby came, and after my first son was born...he had a hard time getting used to things...but with time AND reasurance from me AND my family..he came around. your hubby may need someone he can talk to. like a friend (that has kids) or your father or someone he respects (that has kids). you could ask them to talk to him...but make it seem like the subject just came up in converstation..dont make it seem obvious. that way he wont feel pressured or judged.
he'll be okay sweetie just hang in there...having a baby is a HUGE HUGE thing for some men.
2006-07-20 09:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tension and concern are often the cause of loss of an erection. His concerns about new fatherhood is very much in line, especially since, as you say, he grew up without a father.
"EVERY Time"? Well duh. You can't figure out why he associates sex with fatherhood. Maybe you should go down to you local book store and see if they have any how to books that will explain to you the relationship between sex and children.
"It doesn't make sense!" I can tell by your question how much expertise you have. Obviously you are fully competent to pass this judgement.
The real questions, the ones you don't ask, are: Why are you rushing to judge your husband? Why are you suspicious of him with no evidence at all? Why are you so nasty and sarcastic to him. Why are you doing all the things that are guaranteeing that he will either leave you or cheat on you?
It seems to me that you have serious issues, and if you have any desire to make this relationship work, you Must immediately seek professional help.
2006-07-20 09:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by profdave99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you had sex to get the baby in there so I would think that it's very possible it's on his mind everytime you have sex. I think he's telling the truth. Many parents wonder what kind of parents they are going to be and if they grew up with bad parents or missing parents they hope they can do better and worry about that. So I think it's possible he's being honest. Talk to him about it and make sure nothing else is on his mind or have him openly discuss what his feelings are and what kind of parent he thinks he will be or wants to be. Maybe talking about it and reassuring him that he is already a better father than his father (because he's there) will make him see that he can be different and will be a good parent.
2006-07-20 10:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think whether its a lie or not depends on the kind of person he is, do you trust him? is the way he says he feels totally out of character for him, these feelings can be very real, men go through as much just in different ways as women do concerning becoming a parent for the first time. if he grew up without a father then I'm sure his concern of being a good father is very real. stress can affect romantic feelings, if you feel he is being honest with you then be supportive, understanding and loving and he will be ok
2006-07-20 09:30:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe he has problems keeping an erection, it's called penial dysfunction....but the best thing you can do is ask him, and if you love him you will believe and trust him...but if your having doubts maybe you should wonder if the reason why he can't keep a erection is because of you, and your self confident in him....I wouldn't be able to keep an erection if I felt the person that I loved always thought differently about me or the way i felt either....(by the way, i'm female)
2006-07-20 09:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by dfarrar5682 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know if he told you so. Then I would have to say it isn't a lie. I am sure he is telling you the truth about being a new father and all. But I would go further questioning him as far as Is that it? or maybe it's me and since I have gained the pregnancy weight maybe you aren't attracted to me like you used to be?? Or maybe he is looking at you as a "MOM" and Noone Wants to screw their moms!
Just ask him!!! I do strongly suggest counseling!!!! Do Not let this go too far!!
2006-07-20 09:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by krYpToNitEsMoM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you pregnant? If not, are you trying to get pregant, not using protection...what is it? there has to more to this story.
I would say, he may be telling you the truth...pregnancy and babies effect men differently. My husband and i didnt stop having sex but money was a hugh damper for him...all he could think about was how we were going to make it with a child. Men do have thoughts, be thankful he's telling you instead of saying nothings wrong when obviously there is.
2006-07-20 09:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by bib 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be he has erectile dysfunction & is ashamed of it & giving other excuses. Perhaps you could persuade him to go to the Dr for an exam. If he refuses to do that, perhaps there are some other reasons you should start investigating. If he's worried about becoming a father yall should be talking more about it or go for some counselling.
2006-07-20 09:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by Bluealt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had the same problem with our 2nd child, the doctors told us it was normal for him. Just being nervous and such about the pregnancy. I don't think it's a lie, sometimes guys are scared there going to hurt you or the baby too, don't be to concerned about him lying.
2006-07-20 09:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
except this hurtful journey remains affecting you today, then actual positive. You dont pick to disclose each and each and every ingredient once you dont want to. My husband and that i did because of the reality it became once significant to us to no longer keep any secrets and techniques and suggestions. Your better 0.5 is all of us that you will be in a position to open as a lot as with some ingredient and each and everything. We didnt see the point in protecting issues from one yet another. the before became once see you later in the past. Dont make him experience like a hero and upload to his ego, thats stupid. tell your husband the completed ingredient, youll evaluate better
2016-12-02 00:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by jerklin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋