I asked an earlier question about this subject and generally people thought that without getting consent, sex is rape. Last night I was having trouble sleeping but my wife was not. So I fingered her and much to my surprise she never woke up. Yet she got really wet and seemed to enjoy it by the way her body responded.... But I never asked consent--was this rape?
2006-07-20 09:16:30 · 27 answers · asked by Karl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow! The responses are all over the map. In response to those that wish me harm: 1) I did it to give my wife some pleasure and not wake her up since she was soundly asleep--I really thought she'd enjoy it. 2) She did enjoy it at the time based on her response. 3) I talked with her about it in the morning and she laughingly called me a pervert (not the first time! and threatened to retaliate some night. 4) And no, she didn't remember it, but did remark that she woke up very wet and had had a good nights sleep.
But later I thought--technically, was this rape??
2006-07-20 10:20:06 · update #1
Hey...what's wrong with taking a little of what's yours? You are a husband who was looking to get a little feisty, it's not your fault she never woke up. How many times does it happen that you may nuzzle her or whatever and she does turn over and responds? Can't blame a guy for tryin'.
If she were to complain, then don't do it again, but frankly I think you're okay.
I personally love a little middle of the night nooky. Even if I'm partially in la-la land, it just makes the dreams a little sweeter.
Finger on, my friend, finger on!
2006-07-21 03:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by AlloAllo 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
The fact that her body responded to it doesn't make it "not rape." The body can respond to physical stimulation without the PERSON wanting it to occur. Women's bodies can produce "personal lubrication" when they're raped, but that doesn't mean they enjoyed the rape, it means when something's rubbing against your genital area, it can physically stimulate you and cause lubrication to occur. Doesn't mean she "liked it," "wanted it," or "asked for it," or that whoever did it to her was somehow "justified."
I'm guessing this is a situation in which you just assumed she'd be into it, and ultimately you were correct -- she was okay with it. You probably know her pretty well, and you probably have lots of sexual interaction -- couples generally do, after a certain point...all that random touching and whatnot that just gets to be the "norm" between you.
The problem is that you created a situation in which she had NO WAY TO SAY NO. You made the decision FOR her, and asked about it LATER. Not right. Even if you felt like you just KNEW that she 100% likely would have said yes, she still needs to have that OPTION, for it not to be rape.
Now, if you've talked about it and she's told you she's cool with it, then no prob. You just should have done that from the beginning. It has to be her choice.
2006-07-20 13:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by hyperjoy7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and wife are sexually active then obviously not,,,, in any case you would need a loony judge to get convicted of actual rape.
Besides , not many of us get to experience genuine sexual pleasure whilst we are sleeping.........
Most likely a good time was had by all and if you do nothing else at least ask what she dreamt about,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it must have been great!!!!!!! (either that or you're bloody awful in the foreplay department).
Or your wife could have woken up and simply 'got off' on the 'free attention'
2006-07-20 09:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell your wife what you did to her while she was sleeping instead of being a coward and seeking permission from strangers on the internet! Ask your wife if it was rape.
2006-07-20 09:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by badoll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only she can answer that question. In her position, if a partner did that to me, I don't know if I would say it was rape, but it's definitely an unwelcome advance and something I would tell, not ask, my partner never to do again.
2006-07-20 09:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not rape, but could be considered assault. You do need to tell your wife what you did and gauge her reaction. If she is not OK with it, then apologize profusely and promise never to do it again. If she is OK with it, then you guys go for it. Honesty is the best policy and you can then put your mind at ease. Good luck.
2006-07-20 09:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
is your wife alive? Wet your finger an stick it in her ear. If she jumps up an sticks the elbow on ya then she is alive and dont mention the other incident.
2006-07-20 09:35:57 · answer #7 · answered by paulcartwheel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pig. If you have to ask this question then maybe you should ask first. Your wife obviously trusts you, but maybe she shouldn't.
2006-07-20 10:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell naw!!!!!! sleep or not when something like a finger or a penis is in a woman,,,,,,,, deep sleep or not we know. I read this question and died laughing.... so no honey it's not rape
2006-07-20 09:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by foxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe ask her if she was ok with this?
but i would not do this in future
ask her before hand
and see how she feels about it
2006-07-20 09:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋