so my parents......?

Question

my parents have been married for almost 27 years and yesterday they had a huge arguement and are getting a divorce. i am 16 years old, and it really doesn't nother me because it has been going on for a while, but i have 2 younger brothers, both under 10 years of age, and i don't know what to tell them. how to explain to them what is going, and how to cope with it. any help or advice would be GREAT!!! thx

sry, bother not nother!

but the thingis, my parents aren't talking to them, when they ask a question they just get up and leave and my brothers look at me, and i can't just walk away without telling them, and i don't know how to explain it either

Answer 1

You need to be the best big sister you can be right now. That will be a big help to your younger brothers. Simple things like watching a movie with them, taking a walk to a nearby park or playing a video game with them can make all the difference in their day. Try not to take sides in your parents divorce. You may have to remind your Mom and Dad in the months ahead to try to be civil to each other and not to bad mouth each other to you or your younger brothers. Sometimes adults are so angry with each other during a divorce they want their kids on their side, but in the end the kids will need both parents. Be patient with your parents and cut them slack when you can. This time ahead will call upon you to be mature beyond your years. But in the end you'll probably learn from the experience. I hope your family can survive this change without too much heartache. Sounds like your brothers are lucky to have a sis like you. Best of luck.

Answer 2

Wow, you're are handling this incredibly well, I've seen 15 and 16-year-olds really struggle through the divorce of their folks. That's good of you to want to look after your younger brother in this time, and pathetic and irresponsible for your parents not to be willing to explain things to them. Really it should be your folks to tell them because your younger brothers need to hear how loved they are from their parents mouth when the news comes out. Tell your parents that you will tell your younger brother's if they don't by a certain date.

Be prepared: things could get really ugly, start brainstorming good outings you can take your little brothers on while your parents are battling out the details.

Answer 3

You need to get your parents involved which might be hard right now but they need to step up to the plate. you do not want to be caught in the middle. Talk to you parents about how you feel and the responsibility you feel for your brothers. I have a younger brother as well and when my parents get divorced, I told him that they no longer wanted to be married but we were still a family. But we were also a family of therapy which might also be an option. Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 4

Your attitude about the divorce will be a guide for your brothers'. If you stay calm and levelheaded, that will help a lot, and will make them feel easy about asking questions. But let them ask, don't offer too much info. And I agree with a previous post that it is up to your parents to explain things to the boys. You sound very mature and I'm sure you'll be a help to your brothers. Good luck.

Answer 5

My son is sixteen, and I would never put him in that situation. Your parents need to sit them down and let them explain what is going on. Tell your Mom and Dad that both of need to do this. They are hurting and confussed theirselves right now, but someone has to be the parent, and that isn't your job. You say that it doesn't bother you, but are you sure. Or is it just a big relief that maybe some of the tension and fighting will be over. My daughter, who is 21, watches out for her little brother, and I think it is wonderful of you, to put your feelings aside, to help them cope with the changes happening to them. Your Mom and Dad since they made the decision of getting a divorce, I pray things will settle down for all of you. But, you need to have a talk with them about who the parent is and who the kid is. They may just don't know what to tell them, but they have got to tell them something. I wish this wasn't happening to your family, but those little boys have someone watching out of them, and they are very very lucky to have you. God bless...

Answer 6

There not really going to fully understand it, and if anything when you try to explain it, they might blame themselves. Just tell them that mommy and daddy need to move away from each other because they want seperate homes.

Answer 7

ask your parents to talk to the younger kids and tell them what's going on. this isn't a one time thing(the break-up)from an argument, more likely a build up of things over the yrs, anyway!
remind them and yourself that it wasn't you/ them that caused this and it's not your/their faults.

Answer 8

under 10 yr, explain in simple terms like this:
sorry, mom and dad dont like each other and they have to work it out. it will be ok. i will be here for you when you get scared. reassure them that they can come to you.

Answer 9

look i don't necessarily think it is your job to tell them.i think that it is your parents place to tell them .but you can be the one who is there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on or they just need some there for them.