find it so hard to show my boyfriend any affection or love
2006-07-20 09:00:47 · 16 answers · asked by star 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Some people are just not the "huggy, kissy" type. Some don't like to say "I love you". I'm just like you. It's really hard for me.
Probably because our parents never showed any love to us as children. It takes years to overcome things that happened to you in your childhood. Still, you are in control of your future and if there is something about your personality that bothers you or affects your life in a negative way, good for you for taking steps to try to change it.
I think that guys sort of like girls like you. Most guys are a little uncomfortable with expressing feelings and if you are the same way it makes things easier on them. It does not mean that you two like or love each other any less.
It does get much easier to show affection as you get older, though. Communication in general gets easier. You'll be fine. Just let your boyfriend know that it's not him and that you just have a hard time expressing your feelings. He will understand.
2006-07-20 09:13:56 · answer #1 · answered by JustLookinAround 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you raised in a family that easily showed affection toward each other. If not it may be hard for you to cross that bridge as well. Or if your having trust issues because of a past abuse or just bad relationship it may be hard at first. Give the relationship time and ask him to be patient with you; that you want to show him more affection but aren't sure why you find it difficult but that your willing to work on it. If he's a nice guy he'll be patient and understanding. If not, he's not the kind of person you want to be with in the first place.
2006-07-20 09:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sonie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suspicion is that you have been hurt emotionally. Your mind is trying to protect you from the possible pain of a future breakup. Basically, you have a defensive wall up and you're staying on your side of it. Perhaps you are not certain about the love you have for your boyfriend and this additionally results in your hesitation. If you are certain about your love for him, perhaps you are not certain about his love for you. This would also make you think about why he loves you... and you might not be able to come up with answers you like, especially if you thought you were loved by another boyfriend earlier and you were abandoned. Patience is your key right now... and hopefully your boyfriend will be patient as well. If he truly loves you, he will wait for you to reach his level of emotional attachment. You might find this road difficult, but if you are truly in love, your only other choice is just to stop the relationship... and honestly, you shouldn't do that. Love is difficult to find... cherish it... and be patient with yourself. You will show more affection as your comfort level rises. Good luck.
2006-07-20 09:14:12 · answer #3 · answered by Mike S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most times when someone has trouble showing affection to someone else they have been in some way alienated from that themselves. if you've been abused or grown up in an environment where affection was not shown or learned, it's hard to learn or to even know what that feeling is like. take it easy on yourself....might try talking to a consuler, clergy, or a good friend to find ways to try and show it! have faith though it'll be there some day
2006-07-20 09:15:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you're scared that if you do show him any affection he may take advantage or may not be the same with you, anyway i hope it works out for you, but you need to find a reason in your life as to why you are having difficulties, people can only guess without knowing and analysing your life
2006-07-20 09:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by freedom_of_speech 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you'd had some trauma before him that's probably the answer, if so talk to him and try to make him understand it's not that you don't love him just that you find it hard to show your love. If that's not the case, why don't you talk to a psychologist, it may help you to find what's going on, and solve it all
Good luck
2006-07-20 09:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, i feel like the other person will not show their affection back.
2016-03-27 01:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have been depreived of love and affection and its not something youre used to. Then you find it difficult to show it even if you really want to.
2006-07-20 09:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by Incredible! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are reserved and very strong willed. While they care and love someone, hugging and snuggling with someone just isn't for them. It gets on their nerves.
2006-07-20 09:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
fear of rejection or letting someone really know you deeply and them hurting you in those areas. Take it slowly don't be cold open up slowly but do be protective of hurtful areas for a while.
2006-07-20 09:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋