i'm hot...can you help me?

Question

oh just kidding...but say anything, really anything to make me laugh, and just maybe i'll give you ten points!!try me

Answer 1

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Answer 2

OK, this is a true story...

My dad used to work at maintenance for an apartment complex. He and his team of workers were in an apartment trying to take out an old water heater. They all got into position, "One, Two, Three, LIFT!" then all-of-a-sudden, one of my dad's workers yelled "Whoa, Whoa, hold on!!!" he stood up and turned around.
And low-and-behold, a large Rear-end print was left in the wall.
My dad and his workers just began cracking up!


The reason that it happened was because the water heater had been leaking so the wall was very wet, so when my dad's worker leaned against the wall he left a nice perfect shaped Rear-End-Print.

Answer 3

On the Feast of St. Stephen, I was driving my hearse to the wholesale liverwurst outlet when suddenly a hermaphrodite in a piano truck backed out of a crackhouse driveway, and, as my shoes caught fire, I pirouetted across Boris Karloff Boulevard, slapping the truckdriver six times in the loins with a Chattanooga road map, even though he was humming 'The Pussycat Song'.

Answer 4

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Wm. Shakespeare

Answer 5

ESPERE NUEVA PÁGINA WEB DE CONEXIÓN COLOMBIA
La nueva página Web vendrá cargada de nuevas historias: perfiles de colombianos en el exterior, reportajes sobre temas de inmigración y otros artículos sobre lo que sucede día a día en Colombia y con los colombianos en el resto del mundo. También podrá encontrar las secciones clásicas del Consultorio Virtual y Los Cinco más. La página contará con un novedoso sistema de donaciones, un buscador geográfico, y directorios especializados. Además podrá encontrar la información más completa sobre las campañas y las causas que usted puede apoyar a través de Conexión Colombia.

Agradecemos todos los comentarios y sugerencias para ayudarnos a construir una mejor página web y un mejor país.

Answer 6

I think that there is a part in my 'about' that can make you laugh:
"I have been helping ugly people to look good in pictures since 1990"

Answer 7

Ok then here's a joke...

What did Jeffrey Dahmer ask Lorena Bobbitt????


Are you gonna eat that?

Answer 8

Im hung like a gerbil!

Answer 9

Hello Ana-Banana!

Thank you so much for those two points, they made me laugh...

Answer 10

spray water on your face and stand in front of a fan.