I have two friends that are in relaionships that they are extrememly unhappy in. And the only reasons I am getting from them is that they are staying in for the sake of the children...This bothers me alot...I think thats a cop-out...am i wrong to disagree with them?
2006-07-20 08:24:03 · 6 answers · asked by paputsy29 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think you are wrong. Whether the children have more problems dealing with separated/divorced parents or because they are exposed to a loveless relationship which shapes how they relate to their own future partners, is a toss-up.
From my own personal experience, I wish my parents had split up when I was growing up. There was no love or respect and I had no idea what love really was when I started forming relationships with girls in high school.
I believe that children are better off being around happy, loving parents. If that means they are separated, then so be it.
2006-07-20 08:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by lunatic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's right. I was married and in a physically abusive relationship for 3 out of the 5 years. We have 2 children. I said I stayed for the kids but there are also other reasons we are afraid to admit, no matter how trivial or selfish they may sound. The first time he beat me in front of my kids was the last time. I had him physically removed from the house and have been divorced for almost 4 years. The point is EVERYONE has their breaking point no matter if abuse is involved or not. One day hopefully sooner than later things will materialize and hopefully they will find the strength to move on. It takes good friends and lots of family support. Hang in there with them they will look to you for support.
2006-07-20 16:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by Building Beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bad marriage is just as hard (or possibly harder) on children as is having parents that are divorced. There is no stability, no routine, and the adults are setting a bad example of what marriage is about.
You should talk with your friends and see if there is a different reason for them remaining in their marriages. If not, let them know that "for the children's sake" is sometimes also a good excuse for "it's too hard and I'm scared of being on my own".
2006-07-20 15:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by just4funyall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is bad, they SHOULD leave for the children's sake. If the child is a boy, he is just gonna learn how to treat women bad, and if the child is a girl, she is gonna learn that it is OK to be treated bad. I think your friends just really love their partner, and want to leave but can't find the will to go and use the children as an excuse to stay. But better off your friends leave before serious damage happens.
2006-07-20 15:34:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jamacaray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation and I have two kids. They are the reason I am still with there dad, because I grew up with out my dad and I don't want to put them through that. But people also tell me I shouldn't stay for the kids. Idon't think your wrong to disagree with them, just try to support them, they'll know when the time is right to leave or start living for themselves.
2006-07-20 15:31:35 · answer #5 · answered by todayillsee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you should not because when your unhappy your kids will also be unhappy. come ask your friends are the thinking of there kids or are the afraid to be alone
2006-07-20 15:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by mary m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋