I have been reading and talking to alot of people about getting a divorce and they all seemed shocked when I say that is what I want a divorce, and they say divorce is hard and you wont feel as free as you think you should be. Someone explain? What is so wrong with getting a divorce once you realize this marriage is not going to work.?
2006-07-20 08:19:32 · 10 answers · asked by dorleejohnson 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing is wrong because if it isn't going to work your marriage why be unhappy and in misery and your means of some satisfaction is by cheating, lying , and deceiving your mate.
It can be hard if your divorce is contested and your being battled legally by your spouse.
If both agree on the terms of the divorce it won't be hard only if you still truly love your spouse and want the marriage to work but it seems like your pretty sure a divorce is the only option because it appears on the surface that you have tried other things to make it work but it continues to fail.
Nothing last forever and when people realize this they can move on in life. Just look at death, it shows nothing last forever.
Why spend years unhappy in a marriage when you can spend years happy with yourself or someone that you truly want to spend your life with.
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I rather have a honest spouse who want to divorce so we both can be free to live our life in a way that makes us happy than a spouse who figures cheating on their spouse because their staying in a marriage they don't want to truly be in.
2006-07-20 08:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had always believed that when I would get married, it would be forever to the "perfect man". Four years after getting married, I began wrestling with the demons inside me. A year later, we finally agreed we weren't happy and decided to get a divorce. The hardest part for me was when we signed the papers because we were kind of laughing about it. I broke down afterward and wondered how we let our life end up this way. I wondered why we didn't try harder and what we could have done to prevent this.
It was sad to think that after everything we had been through, that it would end up in divorce. It is tough to stomach the idea that the one person you promised to be with forever is the one person you don't want to be with any more.
A year has passed since our divorce and I still have thoughts about it. Somedays I still wonder how we could give up on each other after taking our vows. Then I get sad thinking that life changes so quickly and people just exit your life. It almost feels as though we were never married. It's a sad feeling.
2006-07-20 09:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by torn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you have to give up your dream of spending the rest of your life with the person you married. You are alone, and while you're married you may THINK you want to be alone, but it's HARD. You lose 1/2 your income and you have to start all over in the dating pool. The person you said "for better or for worse" has gone and left you alone....and that's hard. You'll lose friends you thought were your REAL friends. You won't get invited over to other peoples houses because you will be the "odd person out" because your no longer a couple. And people will treat you differently. It's a HARD HARD thing. Make sure you do everything you can first to save your marriage.
2006-07-20 08:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grass always looks greener on the otherside--until you get there.
The people you'll meet after the divorce will be slightly more messed up on average than the people you met before you were married (because more of the good ones are now married) and you're older and more particular. Unless the marriage is turning you into someone you don't admire or like, and it's time to go if it is, you might want to rethink divorce.
2006-07-20 08:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by Pepper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think some people think people just take divorce to lightly, i think even in a bad marriage you take baggage with yoiu and there is an empty feeling for a while and trust may be an issue later on when you meet someone new. Just remember it takes two to make a marriage work and sometimes there is no saving it.
2006-07-20 08:24:49 · answer #5 · answered by cutekeeps 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is always hard, but sometimes it is the only answer. It is hard to admit we failed at something, and when you have been with someone for any length of time, it is difficult to let go. Of course it is! And,childishly, even if we don't want them, we don't want them to be with anyone else. Sounds stupid but there it is. Not all marriages can be saved, sometimes it is best to pick up the pieces and move on.
2006-07-20 08:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally, those are the people that probably do not want a divorce or did not want a divorce. I do not think it is hard, espically if you are the one that wants out. It might be a little "lonely" until you start to find yourself again. Good luck and if it is what you want, just take their opinion and smile because everyone has one.
2006-07-20 08:24:30 · answer #7 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People make divorce hard, usually it is to take the guy to the cleaners for revenge, others it is to try and reconcile. My divorce was easy, just wait a year and file the papers.
2006-07-20 08:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by webwench2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your dream just got smashed into 5,000 pieces, that's why it's hard.
2006-07-20 08:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by handydaddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It certanly could get nasty, but it doesn't have too. Do not stereotype.
2006-07-20 08:34:51 · answer #10 · answered by marindoll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋