If so how did it affect your life? My friend is in love with a married man and has been with him for two years now,she knows he'll never leave his wife for her,she said it hurts when she thinks of him and his family together,but she cant break away from him because she's in too deep. The wife has already found out about her once before but forgave him. She gets depressed at times too.
2006-07-20 08:07:38 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was in it for 3 yrs and I loved him , I loved being with him but when it was time for him to leave I felt like sh it, the money was good and so was the lovin, we had an understanding and I knew he wasnt leavin the wife. It was hard ,I was dumb and I ended up bein the one who was hurt!
2006-07-20 08:12:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I had an affair with a married man once. We were friends and worked together for over a year b4 it started. I was in a much different place in my life at the time though, and had no expectations from him whatsoever. He would have never left his wife and family either, but I also would not have wanted him to. I was the one who finally ended it, and now when I look back on my life at that time, I know I would never do it again. We are still friends, but we don't talk or see each other, and I had an opportunity to move away, so I did, and just started over with my life. Maybe your friend should do the same. I know it's hard, but worth it. If he is going to stay in his marriage, he needs to be committed to it, if not he should be honest with his wife, there will be pain either way, but at least he will be honest. I think he has already been honest with your friend, about not leaving his family, so the ball really is in her court now. Sometimes you find strength where you least expect it.
2006-07-20 15:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by katpak27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is incredible how many people seem to be attracted to those who are already attached. It is almost because they are attached that many people are interested in them in the first place!
However dating someone who is attached is bad news and something that you should not do. Here's why:
If you really like them, then you will get frustrated that they can never commit too much time to you
They are clearly unethical as it is not fair to date someone else when you have a partner
A leopard doesn't change its spots: even if by some miracle they do move on to you then you know what they are capable of and therefore trust will always be an issue to you.
Too many people spend time fulfilling the fantasies of someone else who thinks it is great to have two or more partners in the hopeless thought that they can change them, when really that person is just having their cake and eating it.
Dating someone who is married or going out with someone else also shows a lack of respect for yourself - you should deserve and feel you deserve someone who can commit all their time to you and is only interested in you.
Remember this if you ever get tempted to get involved in a complicated relationship like this!
Hope this helps~
2006-07-21 15:11:59 · answer #3 · answered by Bon Bon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been attracted to married men but I tell myself that my time is too important to engage in a full-blown affair that will go nowhere and I don't have the emotional strength to go through hellish rage of pointless jealousy over the legal wife and the kids.
I have been in love with someone way before both of us get married with our respective partners, then bumped into each other recently and found out to my chagrin that the attraction is still there. We did acknowledge to each other that there's still something between us but we have chosen to save that feeling for our partners. It was difficult to accept that but we chose to be in the present and just leave things the way they were no matter how special they may be.
2006-07-20 15:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by Tingkuling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being the betrayed spouse of a wayward husband - my advice to your friend is:
1 - Think about what you are truely doing. If you were married, how would this make you feel?
2 - If he really loves you, he would leave his wife and be with you
3 - Where is he during holidays - with you or his wife? If he is with his wife, how does it feel to be runner up?
4 - Work on your self esteem. You really don't need this.
5 - Those That Cheat "With" You Will Cheat "On" You
2006-07-20 15:16:10 · answer #5 · answered by eyematch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to work on her self-esteem and try to move on. This man has no intentions of leaving his wife and she needs to see him for what he really is.... a self-centered son of a you know what, who wants the best of both worlds. She needs to kick him to the curb. If he does this to his wife and children, what makes her think she is so special to him. She needs to work on herself. There is no such thing as being in too deep. She needs to go to counseling so she can remove this man from her heart and find herself a man who will love and devote his life to her and only her. Why should she have to share the man she fell in love with. She also needs to put herself in the wife's shoes. How would she like being in the other shoe. She shouldn't depend on a man to bring her happiness.
2006-07-20 15:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! It's the wrong thing to do and is very unfaithful on his behalf. If he really loved your friend, he would choose her over his wife. Clearly, he loves his wife and is using your friend for whatever reasons he may have. Your friend should just go out and meet someone that will treat her better and be with ONLY her.
2006-07-20 15:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by downhillskiergirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the 'other woman' for a month until his divorce was final. I'm now wife #2 and am here to stay. I guess I"m not really considered the 'other woman' since they both already had separate homes, separate lives, etc....they just needed that judges signature that they were officially divorced!
2006-07-20 15:18:52 · answer #8 · answered by Jen-Jen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to leave it alone, he is married has a wife and kids.
Can she imagine how it would feel. She needs to cut herself off from this guy and stop contacting him, he is using her.
All this in too deep crap he is someone else's husband and she needs to get over it sorry harsh but true
2006-07-21 15:36:13 · answer #9 · answered by dizzymooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes but I didn't know till I had fallen for him!! Found out doing a web check of his email Addy!!!
Got out when I found out but still hurts that I was taken in by him!!!
I have moved on now and there is life after him!!!
Tell her to get out now, he won't leave wife...EVER!
2006-07-21 07:42:21 · answer #10 · answered by M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help who you fall in love with, but sometimes we just think it is love because we can't have it. My advice is If you can't give him up at least get out there and meet some other people. Who knows if you are not looking the right single guy may come along when you least expect it.
2006-07-21 13:21:20 · answer #11 · answered by Ellie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋