I think it is impossible.
2006-07-20 08:03:28 · 9 answers · asked by blue_eyed_soul_woman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are correct. People who have slept together cannot be friends and they cannot be close. Unfortunately, television and movies make it seem like it is possible but it isn't. Unless the break up was just too awful to think about, if you are always seeing an ex-lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., those old feelings are still there; you remember what it was like to be with them sexually and that does not go away. Although you may think that you don't want that, that you have moved on, you know that if the circumstances were right, you would sleep with them again.
The bottom line is this-if you think about having sex with someone that you claim is your friend-they're not your friend. You want more than friendship from that person.
2006-07-20 08:11:36 · answer #1 · answered by writeroftheyear1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I agree.
I am trying to be on good terms with my former boyfriends, after negative feelings are gone, we can still talk if they want to.
However, I call these friendships "the reserve taboo friendships".
By this I mean the following: if there was big disaster, war, big misfortune, illness, etc. ... the extreme situation - I would love to help them and would love to have an ex helping me out of trouble.
But, ONLY in that situation.
Otherwise, we "live and let live" - no regular communication, no direct updates about our lives - the best to be done is to get those updates (like "I married", "I gave birth") through some common friends or acquintances. Otherwise, it is better to keep a distance, not to hurt your new partner!
It is interesting... if one manages to take it up to that level - the invisible, taboo loyalty friendship - it is a great feeling!
I think this shows true maturity, if it happens. But, both ex partners have to be mature enough to abide by the rules of the game: "keep distance and only contact if you are in big big big big trouble, and need of help" - I think it would be just natural and human to help, no?
2006-07-20 08:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by Hibernating Ladybird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very good friends with my former lover (as in we had talked of marriage, kids, a house, etc in great detail). We hashed out our issues over why we broke up and are friends. I can talk to him about things to get a 'feel' for what my husband will say and he talks to me about his life. It's all good. It's taken nearly six years to get things straightened out, but we're both happily friends and our 'other halves' don't have any issues with us being friends either. It's all dependant on the mentality of both parties and what both parties want. If one wants to get back together or if somene still has issues, it won't work--cut ties. But for us, we're good friends and we're friends to stay.
2006-07-20 08:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by Jen-Jen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-14 10:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by priscilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a slow process but both of you need to agree on a friendship and nothing more and also understand that you will eventually began dating other people if you haven't already.
2006-07-20 08:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its possible definitely. It may take a couple of years, but you can do it.
2006-07-20 08:09:36 · answer #6 · answered by KittyGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's possible but it's not easy. And be careful 'cause old feeling might start to resurface
2006-07-20 08:18:35 · answer #7 · answered by smiley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its possible
2006-07-20 08:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS!!!
2006-07-20 08:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋