Ok, this is my last question... and it is serious...I promise...last one...?

Question

Why do some homosexuals assume that just because you do not agree with their lifestyle that you secretly want to be gay? Or you are curious? Can't people just disagree?

Answer 1

well, there have been studies that have suggested that 80% of homophobic people in this world are really aroused by gay porn and gay sex, and they are just trying to cover up the fact that they are gay because they are in denial.

yes people can just disagree, but the way you have been is ridiculous. you've asked like 50 questions, all rude and ugh.

Answer 2

I think you are saying something homosexuals would never say. It is true that some people secretly want to be homosexuals, and because of that repressed feeling, are homophobic. It does not happen the other way around -- in fact, not all people who have homosexual tendencies but can't fulfill them become homophobic, so it is almost certainly not true that all homophobics have homosexual tendencies.

Please don't put words in other people's mouths. Unless all homosexuals go running around saying, "all you straight people are repressed and should be homosexual," I'm hardly going to start believing that "homosexuals assume that just because you do not agree with their lifestyle that you secretly want to be gay." It is too easy to defeat such a straw-man argument. The smallest gust of wind would blow it down.

Instead, what you may be thinking is the very common paradigm that sexual preference runs the gamut between completely homosexual, completely heterosexual, and everywhere in between. Most people rate on a scale in between the extreme poles of completely homosexual and heterosexual. If instead what you are saying is that "psychologists beileve that almost everyone has at least a shade of attraction for the same sex," you would be correct.

Answer 3

Why do you instigate a fight? YES, people can just disagree.. But keep in mind there have been studies that have proven that homophobics are afraid of being gay and want to be gay yadda yadda. No one assumes straight people are gay JUST because they don't agree.. Homophobes, well, that's a whole other thing. It's not disagreement, it's discrimination. Now thank you for making this the last one. Serious or not, it's abit mocking really. :P

Answer 4

yes, certainly people can disagree -- although I have no idea what you mean by my lifestyle...

Exactly what is it that you disagree with? That I'm a duplicate bridge player? That my partner and I prefer science fiction and fantasy movies? That I preserve quite a bit of food and restored the cool room in the older home we bought? That we help others and believe in justice for all? That we oppose racial prejudice? That we are bi-faith couple (I'm Christian, he's Wiccan)? That we have a primarily straight male friendship base?

What exactly do you disagree with?

Lifestyle is not one thing. We go dancing two or three times a year and when we do we dance with each other. By your standards I assure you that we are quite boring -- no excitement here. We've been together nearly 15 years. We both work. We own a home. We have investments. We both are at least fairly well educated. We like to travel and visit friends. We supported the war in Afghanistan in response to an attack on America; we did not and do not support the war in Iraq, which is simple aggressive projection -- though we are worried about what if anything we can do about it now -- since we (America) caused this mess, and a lot of innocent children will die if we leave.

What else? Let's see. I've already raised two children from a fairly early age -- both came from abusive homes. Both love us very much. Both grew up very happily. Both also grew up straight -- oddly, I never had a problem with that, I expected it to be a 90% probability and supported whatever they were. Jonathan and I may raise one more -- this time using a surrogate mother and his seed. 3 is enough children for anyone to raise. \

In any event, yeah, sure, people can disagree with my lifestyle -- right after they have some vague clue what it is. I don't agree with all of their lifestyles. The straight married man down the street for example. The really heavy one. I REALLY do not approve of the fact that I'm pretty sure he uses drugs and he beats his wife. She says he doesn't, but everyone on the block knows he does. Sometimes if you are in your yard, you hear her... kind of... well, frankly, begging. We called the authorities once. It is very disturbing. I also find it very disturbing that they take their kids to an ultra-fundamentalist Church, as an Anglican -- I consider fundamentalism to be demonstrably false (see my website if you wonder why I think that) and I think having your kids brainwashed by lies is wrong. Still, I very much doubt that he (or for that matter she) cares what I think of their lifestyle -- and they care just exactly as much as I care what they think of ours or as much as I care what anyone else does.

That's the glory of America -- pluralism means that we can each strongly believe what we believe -- and its ok. Much better than totalitarianism of any kind.

Now, as for the other question -- which you try to relate to the first -- you don't succeed.

There is substantive clinical evidence that nearly all male homophobes actually ARE interested in other males -- and that's why so many gay people believe it to be true.

For example, I give you the study that showed nearly 60% reached full erection (54 or 56%, I don't remember which). 80% were at least somewhat turned on. (Articles on the University of Georgia study on the topic is linked below.) No shock though, psychoanalysts had recognized this for years, and on an anecdotal level, both of the worse homophobes I knew as a young person turned out to be gay -- deeply closeted and married, both of them have hit on me when I went back for events, and have at one point or another (the second one fairly recently) told me privately that they are fully homosexual and don't actually have sex with their wives -- but will never be open about it -- they don't know how I can be -- cause then "people know." I of course laugh. They never really bothered me because I was very popular, but what they did to some friends who were also gay and shyer and quieter than I -- I don't forget and I surely would never s**k either of their d**ks or **** them, not if they were the last men on earth.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 5

Most people who are aggressively anti-gay are suppressing homosexual feelings. But we also just say that a lot in an attempt to shut people up - a fairly unseccessful attempt. Also, there is almost always some negative will asscociated with those who "disagree" with the "homosexual lifestyle." I disagree with your lifestyle, but, if you'll remember, I treated you with respect. We don't usually get that respect from people that "disagree" with us, because it's usually just a way for us to get yelled at.
Have a pleasant day.

Answer 6

I find that a little funny myself.

I have heard some people claim that homophobes are secretly gay and are just bashing on gays in order to cope with the conflict within themselves.

I'm sure that may be true for some homophobes, but I think it's spurious logic.

I've seen similar leaps of "logic" in religion too. I've seen a recent rash of people claiming that, "atheists believe in God, but they're afraid to get close."

With associating homophobes with latent homosexuality and atheism with repressed theism, I guess it's just a desire by some people to dismiss an entire group's opinion by associating them with the "enemy."

Answer 7

Yes, of course, people can disagree. The disparity occurs when gay people have (I dare say all of us) been badly abused by gay bashers...who turn out in the end to be gay...and they are the worst and most offensive gay bashers. I've seen this happen time and time again both at work and on the street.. Gay people are used to being attacked..they are learning to fight back....and well, I told you I'd give you honest answers and I am trying to.

Answer 8

why do people like you come to the gay/lesbian boards? do you not have anything better to do than come in and point fingers and say your hateful little comments? is your life so lonely and sad that you have to spread your misery around? if YOU don't want people making assumptions about you...why don't you find something better to do instead of preaching intolerance? hatred is neither a family value nor a Christian value! do you teach your children to be hateful and intolerant? hatred is the REAL disease!
don't dish it out if you can't take it, sweetie!

Answer 9

There has to be a reason why you come to the GLBT section to ask and answer so many questions. It is either a terrible hatred of us, or a curiosity. Either way, please ask all the questions you need to, if is to understand us and come to bring us together. If your purpose is to start a fight, or create a division between people of understanding, they please keep your promise and make this your last question. (On this and ALL Yahoo screen names).

I truly hope that I am right, that you want to understand and bring us together. But I worry from my experiences on line that this may not be the case.

Answer 10

If you want to disagree with someone go into a debate room or something. We don't mind curousity, but in your case it was not curiousity. You wanted to pick a fight, you laughed at us, and heckled us. You anger us and then wonder why. How would you like it if we called you a closet lesbian as some did. You didn't like it. so don't attach us and we won't attach you.

Answer 11

Girl.... Relax.... No one secretly thinks you are gay (actually I think they hope you aren't) Anywho, Live and Let Live!

Mosy gay people could care less who is gay or not. We truely have other things to worry about than someone's sexuality we don't know.