my marriage has been on the rocks since day one, but i had been with my husband for 4 years before then, and everything was great. a secret was told to my husband about that i had cheated on him in the first year that we were dating, and it wasn't anything serious, but i ended it after i saw that he was a great guy and i wanted to be with him.
well almost every day he tortured me over it, i lost all trust, he doesn't respect me, and for the last 2 years that we have been married we'll go weeks without fighting, then a big one, eventually it got horrible and when our apartment lease was up we both moved into different places, and are trying to both get a grip on our lives again, well for the last few months we've been hanging out and finding our friendship again, and falling back in love. The reason why we would have to start over and move to another state is because all of our friends here are very judgemental on the situation and think that we should just stop seeing the other.
2006-07-20 07:48:22 · 13 answers · asked by small town gal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if we did move, it wouldn't be for another year or so. we've both signed 1year long lease's and during that time we will be trying to work on our relationship.
2006-07-20 07:54:56 · update #1
If you truly feel the love is back then Id say move away start over fresh.but can he do that.can he not throw it up to you again as he seems to not have forgiven you yet. can you support yourself in another city where you have no family or friends?
many things to think about but I think Id have to give it a try ,that way if it doesn't work again then you will know its really over. sometimes your friends can also be your enemy..you were wrong to cheat but they should stay out of your marriage good luck
2006-07-20 07:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by Yakuza 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, your friends are probably right because if you need to move away to be the man that you love, then there might be something wrong. Look, if you think that you and your husband can make it work, then give it a shot, but be sure that you know where your husband stands on the fact that you cheated on him. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, do anything until you find that out. You do not want to move away with your husband and then find out that he is still harboring resentments toward you. I would also suggest that you and him talk out everything, including him not respecting you, your lack of trust, the fighting and whatever he believes needs to be fixed. Don't say a few sentences and then move on, really talk it out, even if it's another fight.
Remember that both of you are leaving support systems behind when you move; if things do go wrong, you both might feel a little alone so make sure that you know what you are getting into.
2006-07-20 07:55:32 · answer #2 · answered by writeroftheyear1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So the question isn't whether you should stop seeing each other, but rather the fact that you have judgemental friends. You can always cut ties with friends and get new ones versus just up and moving because of people who may not understand your situation.
You're trying to rebuild a relationship that is somewhat strained, but adding more stress by moving elsewhere.
Take a vacation together, work on each other, then worry about your friends later, or just get new ones.
2006-07-20 07:56:35 · answer #3 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister went through the very same it got worse with the years. Every fight the guys name always ended up in it and after 18 yrs it ended. She still loves him, but he has moved on. It's a personal decision, but she regrets moving around because of him. She is a teacher and will have to work several more years in that school because of him. Good Luck
2006-07-20 07:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
moving will not solve your problems
consult a marriage counselor
if you keep your issues private your friends will not be so judgmental this issue is between you and your spouse
ending the marriage may be a solution but you sound as though you want to revive the relationship
go away for a weekend or mini holiday
good luck
remember to take care of yourself during this time as well
2006-07-20 07:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by mpc32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving is just running from a situation.....although I may say that it might help because it will be a totally different surrounding, but let me tell you if he doesnt trust you then he wont trust you inanother city or anywhere you go.....why not work on that and then move?
2006-07-20 07:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem is not him the problem is you every girl knows that the first love dosn't try so hard so come on live a little if he likes you he will come back with yoyu and then love will be together again and again.( don't try to fight) that's a bad idea.
2006-07-20 07:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by bananna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not comprehend why the daddy left his own daughter. i imagine that the acceptable way changed into to do what they were doing communicate on the phone/on line and be conscious one yet another each even as. a minimum of that is extra proper than being hopeless no longer to be certain one yet another again.
2016-10-15 00:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey dont be near your friends who are judgemental of your relationship.you shud be near friends who help u to get thru this tuff time. its no point being near people who judge u when u in trying times of your life and relationship.Dont be near them. go to a place where u have friends who can help u nurture your relationship.
2006-07-20 17:45:29 · answer #9 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like u moved to try and save ur marriage. nothing wrong with tryin if u both love each other. good luck
2006-07-20 07:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋