What do u think?

Question

I am married with two children. Things between my husband and I haven't been all that great here lately. I have been sticking around trying to make it work but he doesn't seem to be doing the same. Now I have a friend that I feel myself drawing very close to and maybe even starting to fall in love with. I don't plan on cheating on my husband. If I plan to persue after the friend, then i will cut things off with hubby. Is it worth it to break up the family? I don't feel like we're really all that much of a family anyways. How do you weigh that in the balances? On one hand I need to work things out with hubbby on the other hand I want to be with someone I know will treat me right.

Answer 1

I am in the same boat. I started going to counseling so I can sort my feelings out. You should have a heart to heart talk with your husband first. Ask him what he thinks is wrong with the relationship. Tell him exactly how you feel. You need to open up communication with him before you end up doing something that you may or may not regret later. Since you are married, you have to try and work things out at home first. If after trying your best, things do not change then you do what you feel you have to do. Look deep inside yourself and ask God for guidance. I wish you luck, as I am battling the same situation, but I've gone further with the friend and he's fallen in love with me and I with him, but I still love my husband also. Be careful, this is a very emotional situation, get a hand on it before it's too late. Good luck.

Answer 2

Your probably falling for that other guy because things are not so perfect at home and he is filling the needs that you need right now which in turn makes things seem even worse at home. I will also tell you that if your husband is a good man, for the most part treats you good and isn't abusive you should stay. The reason is this.... the grass is never greener on the other side. You just get a new set of problems that you are going to have to deal with. You already have this husband broken in and he is the father of your children might as well do your best to find ways to fix what is wrong in this relationship. Also there is no way that you are going to be able to fix your relationship at home if this other guy is still in your life. You will not be able to give 110% to you husband and family with him in the back of your head. No relationship is perfect and if it were you would get board there would be no spark. Good luck to you:)

Answer 3

I feel you sister, You have to take care of home first and yourself. You might only think that you are falling in love with your friend, because you are vulnerable at this time and obviously he is giving you wanted attention. I would put the friend to the side and work on your marriage, then when you feel like you have exhausted all of your efforts to try and reconcile with hubby, and you make a conscious decision to leave and you have left, then pursue a relationship. Having even just this special friend on the side will obstruct your efforts to reconcile with your hubby. You have to have a clear mind and no outside distractions to have a real chance at making your marriage work. I know, I went through the same thing with my husband and I received this same info from a very wise woman....My mom. She has been married 56 years strong .....Oh yeah just for the record, I did what my mom said and I am still married and I know if I would have left my husband, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. You have to give him( your hubby) a fare shot. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

This friend might seem wonderful now, but don't forget your caught up in the beginnings of it. If ya think back your husband probably gave you all those butterflies in your stomach when you started out too. Does your husband really understand how bad things are for you? I've noticed with mine that I have to spell things out for him. I might think we're having massive issues and be totally torn up about it, and he goes along thinking that everythings fine, or at most we're in a little slump.
Please understand that I'm not trying to sound holier-than-thou, but I think to many people give up on marriage too quickly. People get married with the idea that it's all gonna be wine and roses, but the fact is no one can keep that up forever, and people do get bored with eachother if there isn't constant effort at keeping things going. I've been there, done that, and I'm sure I'll do it again. But unless things are just horrible, try to work it out. It may not seem like much of a family to you, but I bet the kids see it differently. Sit down with your husband and tell him in clear (and possibly small, he is male) words so he knows exactly where your coming from. Tell him that if he doesn't want to put any effort into your family that either now or later, it's going to be over, cause no one can live with being the only one who cares. If worst comes to worst, try counseling. I know it doesn't sound like fun, but I know several couples it has done wonders for.
Good luck, I hope everything turns out for the best.

Oh, also, PLEASE, if you have this talk with your husband under no circumstances mention this friend. I promise you things will go downhill quickly if you do.

Answer 5

It takes two to make a relationship successful. First you need to find out whether your husband is happy in your marriage, whether he would like to take steps to make it more fulfilling for both of you. If he is no longer interested, then you have a decision to make...for your own sake & the sake of your children. As long as the children can continue to have a loving & nurturing relationship with both parents--regardless of a divorce--they will be fine.

The same rule holds true for this "friend." Is the friend interested in a romantic relationship with you so that you don't need to "pursue" him? Again, a relationship takes two interested parties to work. You sound like you are lonely and just don't want to be without a romantic partner. Take some time out for yourself before you jump into a new relationship.

Answer 6

if things are beyond repair with you husband then I would file for a divorce, but before falling in love with someone right out of a bad situation become friends first and then progress from there especially if he is as special to you as he seems to be. Sometimes children do better when parents go their own ways especially if there is alot of bad feeling and fighting. and if your husband is not trying to make things work then he obviously does not care so do something good for yourself and your children start your own life, I did and i felt better than i had in 4 years.

Answer 7

listen, you have two children, dont mess up their lives becus of you and your man not communicating. gosh. i wish and pray that i never have problems like this. the number one reason why couples devorce is becus they dont communicate. you say that neither of you never really tried to work things out? well then how can you even think of leaving him in a time like this? why dont you step up and start the conversation? communicate lady!
dont let things go by like this. you will never get him back with what your doing now. and your off having fun with a guy friend? what does your man say about that? does he even know? you two need to have a talk and figure out what you two need to do to get this relationship back on track. spend more time together alone. give the kids to family and have some alone time with your man. give him attention. if he doesnt come around, give him time. show him you love him. im sure you do and im sure he still does too but both of your are too stuck on your own opinions to even do something about it. get back together with your man and relive the good old days.

Answer 8

you gotta make yourself happy....whatever you do, don't stay with your hubby just because of the kids...they will know that neither of you are really happy....it is better to split your family up and your kids learn that there really is happiness, than to just stick it out and be miserable....That's not to say don't try to make it work...but if you want to make it work, you need to cut away from your friend (at least untill your marriage problems are resolved)...your feelings for him will interfere with fixing your marriage, and those feelings for him may only be because of your marriage problems, and not really true feelings....

Answer 9

if you are happier with this other guy go or it woman need aattention and if youyr hubby cant do it theres the door and another thing dont stay with him because of the kids lifes too short to be miserable

Answer 10

The reason the grass seems greener on the other side is because some times there is more bull sh*t there ... watch your step!