beecause of difference in age (10years?), difference in religious beliefs(one doesn't believe anything), difference in culture, etc...as you can see i'm having the problem and i would love any and all advice...
2006-07-20 07:15:06 · 13 answers · asked by constanze_mylove 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I believe love conquers all (1 Cor:13).... both must be willing. But in today's world Marriage is very hard, it is soooo different from dating and almost instantly changes after the wedding date. Those things (religion, age, etc) that don't seem to be a great deal right now, most likely will be the cause of a break up.
Also, your friends and family have known you all your life. They know what you like and dislike, they have seen you at your worst and best. They know what you will tolerate and what you will not stand for. I'm not saying let them make the decision for you, but take in consideration what they are telling you they see. Most of the time they can see red flags that you can't. Remember Love is blind. You see no wrong in that person b/c everyting they do is GREAT......and so forth. But marriage is a whole different world and its hard, but it does have so many blessings if you stick through it.
I would have to say, if you are the younger of the couple, consider your age if you are in your early 20's and they are in thier 30's....then one may play a parent role and that could be anoying, it gets old after a short period of time.
I hope it all works out for the best!
2006-07-20 07:39:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to admit that they have valid points to feel the way they do. I mean the age difference isn't that big of a deal however marriages between two people can be quite difficult when people are from different religious backgrounds and cultures. If you are of strong religious background are you sure you want to marry someone who doesn't believe in any sort of higher power whatsoever? If you decide to have children how are you going to explain to them that their daddy won't be joining you in the afterlife? I'm not saying they are right and people can and do make these marriages work every day however don't just assume because they don't approve that you need to prove them wrong. Don't marry someone just to spite everyone else. Look at their reservations logically and if you really think that you two can overcome all of those obstacles than by all means go ahead and don't look back. I'm just saying that marriage is hard work anyway and yours already has a lot of obstacles and it hasn't even started yet. Listen to their points of view with an open mind. They love you and want the best for you. Sometimes its hard but when everyone you know thinks you are making a mistake its quite possible that they are right. Don't let the fact that they are all telling you that you are making a wrong decision make you want to do it that much more. You'll regret it later.
2006-07-20 07:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i did this...and it's really tough. you have to almost split your life into different segments. and i miss the joy of sitting around with my family and friends. i have a 9 year difference and religious beliefs, cultural, etc...it is not just love. there are other things that are way more important. you need common core values. and i wished i would have listened a little more...everyone saw something i was missing (love is BLIND). if i had to do it again...i would walk away. like i said, love is love, but when you live with someone the small little things need to be in place for happiness. please think about it.
i have only spent 20 hours w/ my family over the last year...and i regret that. and haven't seen some friends at all. no ONE person is worth that...period. are you willing to make that sacrifice...
think with your head for a second and you'll see it. don't let your heart fool you. if you were ok with it would you ask a question about it. the advice i received on this board...you don't have questions in love.
2006-07-20 07:23:49 · answer #3 · answered by pinched 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you may try to convince yourself it will work, and you may try to rationalize all of the reasons why it will work, unfortunately the odds are that it will not.
Over time, your differences will be come magnified. If there were just ONE area of difference, I'd say maybe you have a chance. But you have several areas of difference, plus your parents are opposed to it. If your parents are rational, decent people who have always supported you in the past, but are very strongly opposed to this union, you really need to take a good hard look at why they may feel that way.
That said, if you really feel you must go ahead, don't get married just to get married. Live with this person for awhile to see how things go without the legal/financial entanglement.
2006-07-20 07:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to answer these questions. Are you willing to put all these differences aside? How long have you been dating? What do you have in common? You have to look in your heart and ask yourself if you are willing and able to handle a marriage with someone who is very different. I would wait before marrying. You say there's a 10 year difference but you don't say the ages. I don't think age is the question here, if you think about it 10 years is not that much. I think the question lies in all the other differences.
2006-07-20 07:21:29 · answer #5 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not everyone or your parents to whom you want to marry. It is what do you think?? Don't marry because they disapprove or to prove a point. Marry for only the right reasons. Take your time and be sure you can deal with all the differences, and after long thought, if you can deal then marry. Marriage is supposed to be forever, so think hard about it. I wish you luck.
2006-07-20 07:56:20 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely, your parents or friends whoever dont have to live life with him, its not right to tell your children who they should marry, you will be the one who knows if this person the one you want to be with, age is irrelevant its a number, it does not define who a person is,religion is a personal thing and can be kept that way, culture is something that is great to learn for a better understanding of each other, your life is for you to live for you to be happy, you know what will make you happy,and if it goes pear shaped at least you know the answer, but you would never know it if you dont, like they say, you dont try you dont know, a life time of wondering maybe, but rememeber the consequenses of your actions should be weighed up against, how happy you see your future with this person, and im sure that would help towards your desicion good luck hope you get what you want all the best..
2006-07-20 07:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by she wolf. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Parents know best even though you think you are off age to make your own decisions. They often see things we dont. Why not court a little longer try to see the real man not just what he pretends to be for courtship the real man
2006-07-20 07:20:52 · answer #8 · answered by nikkismart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
must b something there that U dont C yet. B careful. An outsiders point of view is usually a good one especially by those who love U.
2006-07-20 12:34:37 · answer #9 · answered by furbee_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It is so important to have a strong family and have everyone support one another. You can't have that if your parents disapprove...also that tells you something right there, that the person isn't right.
2006-07-20 07:43:44 · answer #10 · answered by KittyGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋