Have 2 boyz none of them r 5 yrs old yet. I love him but his actions does not in any way prove 2 me that he still loves me. I have not totally forgiven him for the affair. He does not have the affair anymore & still claims that he loves me but does not kiss, caress or go out or have fun together. We just have sex. I dont even know why I do it I guess I still love him but hate his behaviour. He still spends a night or two with his mother. I dont want to hurt the kids by a divorce, I dont want to be able to deal with a divorce but I am unhappy in my relationship. He is 2 years older than I am. I also believe that he still has other women in his life but I am not sure. What should I do leave or stay?
2006-07-20 07:13:33 · 7 answers · asked by nikkismart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You point out a lot about him, but nothing about yourelf. If you feel you are unhappy, you need to examine what it will take for you to be happy. Addresst his openly and lovingly with yourhusband and if he cannot address the situation, consider marraige counseling before you divorce.
And you really need to examine your self image. You say more than once how he's cheating on you, but you dont' say how you know. This tends to say you only feel he is doing that because yo FEEL it. Not a good idea to let your mind go there.
Again, don't address his actions, address your needs. WHat will it take for you to be happy? Tell him. Ask for it, and if you can't get it, then yeah...leave. But don't do it until you have exhausted all avenues.
2006-07-20 07:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY favorite philosephy: (one of them) better to be alone and lonely, than with someone, and still be lonely. He still stays with momma? what is that all about?! sounds like a cover to me. Either that, or he's a real mommas boy, which is slightly messed up for a man who's been married that long. I say, get out. How do you know he cheated? Cause if you had proof, and he still denies it, he still has the problem. The first step to healing is always acknowledging there is a problem. If he can't do that, it can't be fixed. I would rather my kids grow up in a single parent home that was well adjusted and happy, than to stay, and have them see dady is gone, and mommy is sad all the time. Cause no matter how you try to hide it, believe me, your kids will sense your sadness. Better for them to have you be on your own and content within yourself; makes you a much better momma, and gives them the security of routine they need. Best of luck to you.
2006-07-20 07:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him once a cheater always a cheater and he will never be true to you and think what it is teaching your boys to be cheaters too they are better off with out him around don't put them through this they will understand in the long run if you raise them right good luck
2006-07-20 07:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to love and value yourself enough as a person to stop putting up with this type of treatment, because until you do, you cannot be helped. You will just continue being this man's doormat and at his beck and call.
This situation will not change unless YOU change FIRST.
2006-07-20 07:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste any more time or heartache on this idiot. You deserve so much more than what you are getting. He sounds like an ignorant child....get out now!
2006-07-20 07:35:36 · answer #5 · answered by KittyGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out girl. why be so miserable. your miserable, he is miserable. is that how you want your kids to be all their life? it not fair to them.
2006-07-20 07:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thing bettel and go better guy...kiss...
2006-07-20 07:23:16 · answer #7 · answered by rader99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋