Should a man tell his wife off if she yells at him first?

Question

I always believe if a woman yells at a man, he has the right to yell right back at her.

Answer 1

Don't add gasoline to the fire, find out what your wife is angry about, then address that issue in a calm manner

You want a resolution, not a screaming contest.

Answer 2

Only if you want a miserable marriage.

Even though you may feel your blood begin to boil when your wife is yelling at you, even insulted and disrespected, yelling back isn't going to so solve any problems. In fact, although you may feel better momentarily, most likely it'll just make matters worse.

Instead, try listening to what she's saying (being careful not to give advice or even console (not yet anyway)) and eventually she'll get out what she's trying to express and she'll feel better. When your wife is yelling at you, try not taking anything she's saying to you personal, even it she's trying to make it personal! Tell yourself (not her) that you're a good husband to her and that she's only letting off steam. Be serious and don't patronize her.

Life is difficult for everyone and and we all have our breaking points. If you do find yourself yelling back, whatever you do, DON'T be derogatory or call her names. You can just as well kiss (or not) her goodbye. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Well, men are far too likely to not let their feelings be known
and then suddenly disappear.

So, you're certainly better off speaking your mind than
simply surpressing and then fleeing.

However, do you have to yell?

It is perfectly reasonable for her (and you) to say what you
think is going wrong without yelling about it. Yelling should
be reserved for emergency circumstances (you're about to
be hit by a car).

If she is yelling at you and you feel the same could be
said with a few less decibels, you should tell her that it bothers
you.

Simply yelling back is simple "escalatio" - and its how wars
get started.

"have the right to" does not mean "should".

Answer 4

Depends on what the woman is yelling about. In most cases, the man should remain calm, or else the situation will just get worse. Someone has to try to return the tone to a more appropriate level.

Answer 5

In most cases I would say no....nobody has the right to yell at anyone 1st or 2nd....if you yell back, you are no better than she is....however...my husband and I fight all the time...yelling, screaming, cussing...i think we live for it...we wouldn't know how to act otherwise....but i think this is a double standard that most women have....it's ok for her to do it, but not for him to do it...most women would take it personal, and not understand that men need to vent too...especially if the woman provokes it....my husband's motto on this is "if a woman puts herself in a man's place, then she should be treated like a man, and vice versa"

Answer 6

Well, that's a great way to start a shouting match. And a great way to end one is to give a soft and measured response, which takes much more self-control. You can see this rule applied in customer service-type jobs. The customer is yelling and screaming and the person waiting on him says calmly, "I'm so sorry, sir, what can I do to help make things right?" The other person finds it almost impossible to yell again--it "deflates their balloon" and puts things back in the realm of reasonable discussion.

Answer 7

Depends on the man and the woman. No good answer will fit every situation. The pertinent fact is did you do something wrong or did she do something wrong or is it frustration. If it is not of your doing it is safer but in the long run I have found it rarely helps to pour gasoline on a woman on fire. It may hurt longer. Better to let her cool then come back to the issue later and try to deal with it calmly.

Just one mans opinion. A man that has suffered one divorce but is now happily re-married

Answer 8

It's been my experience that women don't usually yell at their mates unless something is seriously wrong. Instead of a man yelling back at her he should understand what it is that he has done to make her get angry. I agree that yelling back doesn't solve anything, however, men if your woman does something wrong to you first then try yelling at her too about it. If she yells back then let her know that when she is hurt you don't respond to her by yelling, you listen. If she has to yell at you in response to you being upset then let her know she is full of double standards and to change her presentation if she wants you to inquire in the future.

Answer 9

He should stand up for himself but 2 wrongs don't make a right. When my husband starts yelling at me I always just say " I am not yelling at you so I would appreciate it if you would not yell at me" or do you think it helps me to hear you when you yell at me because actually when you start yelling it makes me want to quit listening. If you want to talk to me in normal tones I would be glad to listen. I don't promise to agree with you but I will listen.

Answer 10

sure but I found 2 wrongs dont make a right! and just yelling at each other usually doesn't get you very far because there usually isn't much listing going on!