Are there any psychological studies relating to the impact on a SON, IN PARTICULAR, of having a mother who cheated on the son's father leading to a divorce of his parents. I've asked this question in less technical categories without any luck. In the past, I dated a guy whose parents were divorced after his mother cheated on his father. I recently met another guy with the same circumstances. I'd be interested in knowing whether any of you have any knowledge in this area or are a guy who has experienced this or you are a woman who has dated men with this issue in their backgrounds. If you're the latter, have you noticed any general personality traits that were common among guys with this issue, and whether they are/were good or bad partners. I'd like to compare notes. I have my own views, and will express them later so as to not color your responses. Thanks.
2006-07-20 06:30:38 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Fantastic responses so far. I should mention that my current boyfriend discovered that his mom was cheating with the older brother of a female, high-school classmate, who was 7 years his senior and 13 years his mother's junior. His parents had been married for 17 years and he was 15/16 when he discovered that his mother was cheating. He was the one who told his father. Not a cool situation--at all.
2006-07-20 11:37:24 · update #1
I have a friend who falls squarely into this category of guys. Due to their mother's cheating, these guys tend to desire security to an extreme, but usually hedge their bets by living like rock stars just in case they never find the security that they seek. They generally are "good natured pimps", possess alot of superficial charm and wit, mean no harm, and ultimately seek security, even if they leave disaster in their wake while they are trying to find it. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. What else would you expect from a guy who learns as a teenage kid that he can't even rely on his own mother for fidelity and stability? Think about it. Enjoy the ride--at least it won't be boring.
2006-07-20 17:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by brian_hahn_32 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating Mothers
2016-11-09 23:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by brandea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes and no.
I assume that your theory is that because the son's mothers cheated, the sons behave a certain way in adulthood? It would be nearly impossible to test such a theory for a number of reasons.
Such as pre and post parenting styles, the level of interaction with the father, did the son know of the infedelity? Also the age of the son at the time of the split. There are so many different situations! These are all variables that it would be hard to control enough to be able to conclude that the sons adult behaviour is the result of the parent's cheating.
However there are lots of studies on the effects of divorce and remarriage on boys and girls. The vast majority are on single mothers, not single fathers. The results appear to be a little different depending on if the kids live with their mother or father.
2006-07-20 06:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by hilarywow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was not the son but the daughter in this same situation but had a younger brother that I saw the impact on as well. I know that for me it made me more committed when I married to the promise that I would never do the same to my husband. For my younger brother it was different. He has never been able to maintain a long-term relationship because he was always accusing his girlfriend/mate of being unfaithful to him or suspicious that something must be going on behind his back. I wish that when my parents had gotten divorced someone had thought of what long-term ramifications it could have had on us kids and gotten both of us into counseling. I don't think its effected my life but might be surprised if I sat down to talk to someone that it actually has in ways that I don't even consciously think about. I think the most important thing to remember is that not there are far more men and women who divorce where there wasn't the issue of infidelity than there are where it was - at least statistically that still seems to be the case. Work on developing trusting relationships in your life and look for other examples in your family where that wasn't the case - perhaps in your grandparents marriage or in an aunt and uncles. At least that will help convince you that its certainly not a genetic predisposition.
2006-07-20 06:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by Sonie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter in law sounds like a very selfish person. Which mother would let their child sleep on a floor when they have beds to sleep in? Your son should file for divorce and apply for custody of the kids. Chances are his wife may not contest the custody since she is too busy having a good time.
2016-03-16 02:26:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever there is destruction of the family unit there is likely to be trauma on the children. It will probably affect your boyfriend one of 2 ways. He'll either be mistrusting of females, possibly controlling and jealous. Or he may be very maleable, especially if he thinks his Dad could have done something to prevent the situation.
Then again, he may totally have his act together, you never know.
I tell my children that the best partners with the least baggage come from happy households.
2006-07-20 06:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by Nancy R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sepwaj
2016-03-07 19:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by Kathleen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋