If you were married 22 years and y/man cheated w/someone that looked like ms. piggy but said he loved only you

Question

so anyway, you stayed but can't get over the fact that he had sex with someone else, I don't know what to do. I am not ugly, but can't imagine starting over even though our kids are almost grown.

ok, so you all say looks aren't everything, but he constantly mentioned if I gained a pound and always bought me stuff that he thought made me look sexy to him.

Answer 1

XXXXX cheating is cheating nomatter what she looked like. I'd rather do bad alone than to put up with infidelity. Women stay with cheaters for fear of being alone, married men become pathilogical cheaters because they know their wife will be there kissing there feet afterwards. Glad I'm not you. He would have been kicked to the curb with Miss Piggy.


Leviticus 18
1 The LORD told Moses
2 to tell the people of Israel: I am the LORD your God!
3 So don't follow the customs of Egypt where you used to live or those of Canaan where I am bringing you.
4 I am the LORD your God, and you must obey my teachings.
5 Obey them and you will live. I am the LORD.
6 Don't have sex with any of your close relatives,
7 especially your own mother. This would disgrace your father.
8 And don't disgrace him by having sex with any of his other wives.
9 Don't have sex with your sister or stepsister, whether you grew up together or not.
10 Don't disgrace yourself by having sex with your granddaughter
11 or half sister
12 or a sister of your father or mother.
13 (SEE 18:12)
14 Don't disgrace your uncle by having sex with his wife.
15 Don't have sex with your daughter-in-law
16 or sister-in-law.
17 And don't have sex with the daughter or granddaughter of any woman that you have earlier had sex with. You may be having sex with a relative, and that would make you unclean.
18 As long as your wife is alive, don't cause trouble for her by taking one of her sisters as a second wife.
19 When a woman is having her monthly period, she is unclean, so don't have sex with her.
20 Don't have sex with another man's wife--that would make you unclean.
21 Don't sacrifice your children on the altar fires to the god Molech. I am the LORD your God, and that would disgrace me.
22 It is disgusting for a man to have sex with another man.
23 Anyone who has sex with an animal is unclean.
24 Don't make yourselves unclean by any of these disgusting practices of those nations that I am forcing out of the land for you. They made themselves
25 and the land so unclean, that I punished the land because of their sins, and I made it vomit them up.
26 Now don't do these sickening things that make the land filthy. Instead, obey my laws and teachings.
27 (SEE 18:26)
28 Then the land won't become sick of you and vomit you up, just as it did them.
29 If any of you do these vulgar, disgusting things, you will be unclean and no longer belong to my people. I am the LORD your God, and I forbid you to follow their sickening way of life.
30 (SEE 18:29)


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Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
If you were married 22 years and y/man cheated w/someone that looked like ms. piggy but said he loved only you
so anyway, you stayed but can't get over the fact that he had sex with someone else, I don't know what to do. I am not ugly, but can't imagine starting over even though our kids are almost grown.

Answer 3

The biggest question is if you want to stay with him. You are going to have to get it out of your system that he slept with another person (ugly or pretty). The reason he did it was because of the attention he got from her. Plain and simple, right or wrong. If you decide to stay with him, you will need to tell him exactly how you feel and then not bring it up all the time during future arguments. That can kill whatever is left of the relationship. If you do decide to leave, then that is already a given as to what you will do.

Only you can decide if you want to forgive him. Remeber this, though. Nothing is worse than being forgiven and then having that mistake thrown in your face when it is convenient.

That's my best answer for you. Good luck with it. Sorry he cheated on you.

Answer 4

the same thing happened to me about a year ago and it took along time to get over it i think all men are fuckups and cant control thierselves, so of you move on mabe expect worse from someone else cause my husband is the last person on earthi would expect to betray me and he did with a crack head looking chick and im not ugly at all, i just think they feel that after being in a relationship for so long they want to see if they still have it if you know what i mean, but like i said men all assholes and i stayed because he truly said hell never do it again and i believe him i also go out on 2 strikes not one not 3 because if they do it once 3 times seems too many and one time seems like a big mistake i always give a second chance but not a 3rd keep that in mind, good luck and if he says hes sorry and truly means it than forgive im not saying forget that will take time but everyone deserves a second chance

Answer 5

Is this the first time your man cheated? If so, then I would forgive him if he said he'd never do it again and he loves you. However, if this is a repeat, then, I'd think twice. My hubby cheated on me a few years back too (another Miss Piggy) and I gave him the boot. He cried for 8 months before I took him back. He hasn't cheated on me since, and its been 4 years. I always told him that when a man doesn't come home or sits in a bar without his wife, then hes doing something wrong. I've been married for 23 years myself, and I too, couldn't imagine starting over! Marriage is full up ups and downs and sometimes we just have to learn to forgive. God bless you both!

Answer 6

How long has it been? Have you tried counseling? You need to find out what went wrong in your marriage. Blaming and insulting the other woman is not going to help. He was the one who cheated on you not her. She never made a commitment to you he did. It may take a while to earn your trust back. Only you know if the love you have shared in the last 22 years is worth enough to forgive him. Give yourself some time. I, of course, am assuming he was faithful for the first 22 years of marriage. If he was then I don't believe the whole "Once a cheater-Always a cheater" comes in to play. I think it has something to do with his own emotional state. If he is a repeat offender drop him and try to focus on you and what little time you have left with your children. Make that your first priority.

Answer 7

This is a decision that only you can make. Would you be happier without him? Everyone is different, you have to decide what is the best decision for you.

My husband knows there are two "deal breakers" in our relationship that would cause me to divorce him and not look back. No second chances, no counseling, nothing. I would be devastated but I know I wouldn't be able to put it behind us so the best thing for me would be to end it. Those two things are infidelity and violence. I can't think of anything else that we couldn't work through...but personally I could never trust him again if he ever cheated on me or hit me.

I know a lot of couples work through infidelity issues and I applaud them. I just couldn't do it myself. You have to decide for yourself if you can forgive him or not.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I've been married 17 years and I can only imagine how sad this must make you feel.

Answer 8

First off, I wouldn't entrust a potentially life changing decision to complete strangers to give you the answer to that. We all don't know you or your spouse and we don't know the facts of the history of your relationship. Even if one of us has been through something of that nature (with been in a relationship that long and then the partner cheats), you have to realize that every circumstance is different. Are you spiritual/religious? If so, maybe you should pray about it. If you're not, maybe you should take some time to think about what's right for you. If your kids are almost grown, don't you think that they'd rather you be happy?

Answer 9

This happens to a lot of people, I was lucky enough at the age of 7 to catch my dad cheating on my mom...this is a choice you have to make. If you think you can deal with this in any way then try that first. A lot of people will stay married but lead completely seperate lives. I'm young enough that I would go out and do the same thing...even things up a bit. Anway, good luck with whatever you choose!

Answer 10

Sadly, men do have the ability to seperate sex, and love. Sounds like he went through a mid life crisis. First thing, if you love him and are going to try to work it out, Make sure you don't sleep with him again til he is tested for every STD out there. Talk to your doctor about how many times he should be tested before you have sex again. (some diseases may not show up the first time, (like HIV) and you'll need to be tested again 6 months after that. In the meantime, you both need counciling. If he truly loves you, and wants to work it out, he needs to be very open to having you know his every move. For example, no out of town trips. No nights out with the boys. No staying late after work, unless he know you can stop in at any given moment. (and do it!) No computer usage in the home behind closed doors. (e-mail, IM, and P**N access) no phone calls w/o you in the room. etc. No errands to the store w/o you. And you do this as long as it takes for you to feel you can trust him again. Then you still do it from time to time, just to be sure, cause let's face it; when men cheat, we never truly, completely trust 100% again, do we? So, once he's proven you can trust him, and he's been going out on his own to the store, whatever, and he says one day "I'm gonna run down town; I'll be back in a cpl hrs. Say, great! I'll go with you! and watch his reaction. Watch to see whether he suddenly needs to make a phone call before you go, or check the PC. Then once you are out, watch his behavior around you. Does he seem nerveous, or does he try to get away from you at all? Or do you go somewhere other than where he said he needed to go? Little things say a lot. If he is not willing to follow the restrictions to re-establish even a little trust, it's because he'll do it again, and you'll be better off w/o him. But men who love their wives properly will find ways to avoid cheating in the first place. If he says he loves you, make him earn yours. How did you find out he cheated, anyway? Did you catch him, or did he tell you? And if he told you, why did he tell you? Is she pregnant, was she going to tell, and how long did the affair last? that will also tell a lot about him, and whether it's worth trying to save your relationship. Do your kids know about it? if so, what do they feel? If not, are you planning to tell them? WB, okay?

Answer 11

The appearance of the woman he cheated with means nothing...if you cannot and/or choose not to forgive, then take the steps necessary to end the marriage and move on...he certainly wasn't showing love for you while he was having sex with someone else...

The decision is yours though...you have to weigh the reason(s) he gave...decide if you can trust him again...decide if you are willing to put it behind you or not...

Don't look at it as the idea of "if I leave him I'll have to start all over in the dating/relationship world"...that should be the furthest thing from your mind...focus on whether or not you will be happy to continue to be married to this person...if not, will couples counseling help? if not then why stay? why settle?