2006-07-20 06:18:51 · 38 answers · asked by frustrated 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She doesn't live there anymore, she's living
in an assisted living place. She has always been in our business and has never liked me in 14 years of marriage, due to financial need we moved here temporary,
we pay no rent and the house is a nice house, but her mean spirit still lives here and it seems like she uses the neighbors
to get info about our lives, we know this.
Financially paying no rent makes sense, we only pay our utilities but emotionally I
think we need to move out of here or our
marriage won't last. We have fought almost everyday since day one and it's only getting worse, any opinions?
2006-07-20 06:27:06 · update #1
It's just me and my husband.
2006-07-20 06:30:51 · update #2
My husband does work everyday. I don't have a job right now, through no fault of my own, I got sick and quit my job, but I'm not lazy or a bum and neither is my husband
2006-07-20 06:37:13 · update #3
Everybody misunderstood the whole situation, there's no answer here is is even
close to what I was asking. In a different situation the answers would be fine but not this one
2006-07-22 08:21:15 · update #4
XXXXXXXXX Time to move XXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-20 06:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My husband and I live in my parents house. We have had some unbelievable tough times since we've gotten married! And we still aren't making enough money, all we can do is pay our bills, and there is nothing left over to save. Hopefully we'll get our loans payed off so we can start saving, but it is going to be several months before that happens. Coming from someone who understands what you are going through, do your best to avoids fighting with your spouse, and don't talk about bills, or anything personal in front of anyone else. This is a big help. And the minute someone tries to stick their nose in where it doesn't belong, don't hesitate to put an end to their being nosy! Let them know right away that just because you live in their house doesn't give them the right to know details about your problems or your relationship!
2006-07-20 06:27:45 · answer #2 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you and your spouse moved in with your mother-in-law but you must realize that you are in her space and must make the necessary comprises not her, as unfair as that may seem. When you marry you need to set up boundaries with both sets of parents and the dynamic of that relationship changes but this requires distance. I would advise that as soon as possible you and your spouse move to your own place even if it is not the ideal home because if this situation gets too bad there can be irreversible damage to the relationship with your in-laws, not only your mother-in-law but the siblings-in-law because these things have a way of involving the whole family. Unfortunately you will bear the brunt of the blame for the rift in the family, people have a tendency to make allowances for the family member much easier than the in-law. Good Luck
2006-07-20 06:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by G-Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved in with my in laws and It only lasted about 1 and a half months before disaster struck. I ended up not speaking to them for almost 2 years because of what had happened ( rather not say ) . It ruins relationships when you live with family. I we also tried living with my parents , but that was also horrible. I think you should move out and find a nice affordable place . Bad things could happen if you stay at their house any longer. You do not want to end up like us. We are finally talking now, but things will never be the same. :(
2006-07-20 06:24:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move to a less nicer house, and start cutting corners to afford that place--at least you'll have your freedom!!! It's not right to rely on other people for help anyway, because they always expect something in return--in your case, the price to pay is your marriage.
You know you should move, so do it already! The aggravation is not worth a few hundred bucks each month to rent a small place!
2006-07-20 06:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on Earth did you do that? If you and your fiance couldn't afford a place of your own you should have waited to get married. I assume that you both agreed on it before you did it? Talk to your husband and tel him that you can no longer tolerate the living arrangement but be careful how you say it because it is still his MOTHER! If he respects you he will hopefully speak with you about other options and you will be out of there. If you are there because there are no other financial options that is a different story. Good luck.
2006-07-20 06:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by VOLLEYBALLY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why whats the problem?
No privacy? Fell like Someone is poking nose into your affairs always? Or is it just that you guys like to be left alone and hate company?
Be considerate to older people. They always see you as children no matter how old you are!
Dont worry you will get adjusted. But if they are too fussy and always poke nose into your affairs all the time you better talk to them and let them know you need your couple space. Or if it doesnt work just find a new place to live!
2006-07-20 06:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by Someday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing the circumstances regarding your move i have a couple of suggestions:
1) If it because of her need for help because of age- try finding things that both you and her enjoy. Ex: cards, gardening, cooking, photos. Try to find conversations that dont upset you or her. Try to look for the good things in her and look at the good things that you do for her. You cannot change people and you must reflect on positive things that you do for the better.
2) If it because you had to because of financial reasons or such try to do things to help around the house like dust, dishes , laundry etc. to show that you are offering to help despite the circumstances. Try not to respond harshly to improper statement by her and turn negative situations into positive ones by saying positive statements about yourself and her.
I hope this helps
karen
2006-07-20 06:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by karen b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is we...you and your wife.
i think the best advice would be to MOVE out. Now there many be a reason that you have to be there ... like perhaps her health. Even in that sense... you and your wife need .... YOU time. Get a room every once in a while, stay out late, contact a home health agency and get a sitter for a while so you can go out and have some fun.
But if you are just living there to be living there.... you need to man up and provide a house and home for your wife and family if you have one!
2006-07-20 06:23:09 · answer #9 · answered by Sunshine_Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did ur husband grow up in the house? if he did that might be part of the problem, my guy and i moved out of state and bought land and houses so his family could move there as well,i thought at the time it would be nice, until thay moved in. he is an only son and mom and sisters were always interfering.we have our own house, but thay wouldnt but out even to the point of breaking in to my house, he didn't realize what was going on tell the police caught my mother in law breaking in to my house when we were gone.and he had to explane it to the police.
2006-07-20 08:31:15 · answer #10 · answered by bonny b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lying to yourselves. Both of you need to get good jobs. Go to work every day. Work your butts off and BUY your own place! No excuses for the jobs either like I hate it here. If you don't like your job find a new one while you are still working. Millions of people do it every day. See those people out there that have nice things? Most of them have worked for them! Its the middle of the day go to work.
2006-07-20 06:30:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋